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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/11/17 in all areas

  1. 23 points
  2. 22 points
  3. 22 points
  4. 21 points
  5. 19 points
    "But I thought you LIKED to paint miniatures." "I like to cook, too, but that doesn't mean I feel like catering your wedding reception."
  6. 18 points
    Sticking a fork in this guy. It's sometimes disheartening how very much I still have to learn.
  7. 16 points
  8. 16 points
    I've got a friend that's a musician, and that's essentially a more kind version of what he tells people who ask him to play a gig with "exposure" being the payment. It's even better if he knows the person is a tradesman of some sort, because he'll turn it around and ask for them to ply their trade for him in exchange for "exposure." They get really mad at that one.
  9. 14 points
    I'd be afraid the exposure offer was a sting and I'd get tackled by the rozzers before my trenchcoat even hit the floor.
  10. 13 points
    The leader of the white council, the jealous, the prideful, the fallen from grace, the one, the only Saruman!
  11. 13 points
    @Mad Jack Sympathy like. I've done similar to what you described, only it was my thumb, and at work (I was working at Subway at the time). They keep the bread-cutting knives sharp. It went right through my thumbnail like it was nothing. Somewhere I got the idea to glue a fake nail on over my real nail to protect the injury, and it actually worked astonishingly well as a sort of bandage. Okay, I REALLY want this to be a thing now. I'll bet the lyrics to some of these 'songs' would be just hilarious. Especially if NUCLEAR KRILL plays it totally straight while singing seriously about how 'you krilled me with your love' and 'it's a kriller night'. I really hope your consultation and study give you some answers, and hopefully a little robot buddy who will help you breathe better at night, and will never threaten to stab you, or speak. You have bees? That's super cool! :D Huzzah! --OneBoot :D
  12. 13 points
    Hair pictures! Can't figure out how to do a spoiler on mobile. I remembered I can just edit on my computer. It's basically shaved in the back but I couldn't get a clear picture of it. ETA: It is in no way styled and I plan on dying it today or tomorrow.
  13. 12 points
    Well lookie there: nuclearkrill.com is available. *contemplates fake band web page* *contemplates logos and graphic design* *lights the @Mad Jack beacon* Let the madness commence!
  14. 12 points
    Subtle and quick, that's my trick. Also liberally smearing myself with butter so I'm hard to get hold of. "The more you tighten your grip, the more I will squish bonelessly through you fingers!"
  15. 12 points
    We all know how practiced you are at exposing yourself, gobbo. You'd have that trenchcoat on the floor before anyone even knew exactly what was happening.
  16. 12 points
    Next time someone's in your space, just scream hysterically at the top of your lungs, then come charging out of your office and grab one of them, screaming,"Run! RUN! It's coming! IT'S COMING!!! It's almost here - I'll hold it off while you RUN!!!!" and then hurl them down the corridor in the opposite direction of where you want to go. Just continue to act as though she's still gone. If she says anything, just slowly turn to look at her like she's a ghost and say, in a somewhat dreamy voice, "You went away. You're gone, so you're not really here... Once they leave, they're gone, and they never come back..." and then just drift past her while staring off into the distance... The Middle of Nowhere Diner is a passably nice little greasy spoon in Rhode Island... Bring a rubber duck and flip-flops... Then ask, "Wait... It's not that kind of pool?"
  17. 12 points
    'Ouch, aaargggh, gah! Vicious little buzzing bastards!' Is what I thought as I was stung four times on my face and neck this evening by my honey bees. I made a stupid decision and carried out an inspection in my old suit which has a broken neck seal, through which a number of my bees decided to join me in the suit. An alarming experience for bees and beekeeper. In other news, I finally started watching The Walking Dead, about 10 years after everyone else.
  18. 12 points
    Oh, it's cute! No, thanks. It's my civic duty. I'm dressing neutral-tidy and bringing a great big book to read.
  19. 11 points
    I think all artists get hit with this at some point. I sure have, and the illustration community is full of horror stories. There's a saying in the visual arts community: "People die from exposure."
  20. 11 points
    Uncle update for those who are following.
  21. 10 points
    When a coworker when to Europe for a few weeks last April, this happened to his cube: When the main instigator from that incident went on vacation a few weeks later, this happened to her cube: There may or may not have been dry oatmeal added to a few of the balloons.
  22. 10 points
    Fire proof honey! It will give you super powers!
  23. 10 points
    Oh, I know it's dangerous and there's always the chance, but it's just been my experience that it's never happened. Heck, at my grandparents' house there was an abandoned house on part of their property where the entire southern exterior wall got turned into a giant honey bee hive for about a decade, and even when we started tearing the place down the bees didn't get all that riled up. That was actually the colony(or colonies since we're talking a 20x30 wall full of them) that mothered all of the swarms my cousin caught, and I was sad to see it have to go. But the building was falling in on itself and had become a safety hazard, so after it swarmed one spring they tore it down... Never could have eaten any of that honey though. Those walls were full of asbestos and all sorts of other wonderful goodness from 1940's construction...
  24. 10 points
    See, this is why I posted the house thing here. Y'all understand, and offer up your experience. If you crazy folks can do the most adultiest of adult things, I'm sure I can. Hubby and I talked about it more today, and we've decided to move to a new apartment first, then work on the house thing. If the management at our complex wasn't turning into major elfs, we'd just stay put and save the money, but that woman straight up told my husband that they wouldn't be fixing anything in our apartment until we moved out. Yet another illegal thing to fall out of her idiot mouth.
  25. 9 points
    Wow, what an elf-smurfer. I certainly hope that karma catches up with her and gives her the whupping she deserves. Also, I'd like to thank the great state of New Jersey for being so welcoming. You've even gone ahead and jacked the temperatures up into the low-mid 90s for me this week. That's awesome, you know how I love warm temperatures.
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