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Lord of the Dish Pit

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  1. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Don't ask me anything. Tell me something.

    Back in the 80s we had the same livingroom set as on the show. Unfortunately the couch was tossed away years ago over my objections. But I still have the chair. I also have the Godzilla. I have to admit I don't feel so bummed anymore about not being able to find a replacement for the couch, if even the vast forces of Hollywood are unable to do so.
  2. Lord of the Dish Pit

    The Coffee Dwarves of Confefe Mountain

    Around Easter I was working on some WizKids Dwarves for Elven Coworker, and the idea of Dwarves that venerated coffee instead of beer came about. The pose of one of them looked as if someone had committed the crime of substituting his regular for decaf. And since I've tormented many a coworker with the dictates of Our Coffee God Agamenthar, this all came together. I think it was on the first Acquisitions thread that someone mentioned Confefe Mountain and hence an idea was born that the Dwarves would inhabit a mountain made from a Mr. Coffee. I'm waiting until after I move to start that project, but here is the throng thus far. For the time being I'm working on the followers of Maxwell House. I'm thinking that Chaos Dwarves would work for the Tribe of Folgers as it would provide stylistic differences that would set them apart more than just different color schemes, while keeping to the idea of overcaffinated grudge bearing axe wielders.
  3. Lord of the Dish Pit

    The Coffee Dwarves of Confefe Mountain

    Jarl Jorvik of Clan Kava's Expedition to the Manling Lands (take two) Several months ago, Frothumbar and his Exiles sent word to Confefe Mountain that they had discovered a Coffee Mine bearing the sigul of Maxwell House in the manling lands across the portal. Being the first found in the new world, this caused a great deal of excitement and Durok and his Rangers were sent thru to confirm that such a thing existed. Unlike most of the Coffee Dwarves, Durok believed Frothumbar's report, (because Frothumbar and his exiles knew full well the elfbeating they would receive if they sent back false word on something like this.) So before leaving, Durok loaded the better part of his personal hoard onto several ponies. He had had dealings with the manlings on the other side more than once and if his suspicions were well founded, not only would a large amount of gold be needed, but that he stood to make a good bit of personal profit off of this as well. Once across he met up with the Exiles, and was guided to the site of the Coffee Mine, only a few miles from the portal. Durok was slightly confused that he'd not come across it while mapping the area on a previous expedition, and left the Exiles to guard the site while he went to the nearest town to confer with the Redneck Elders. Sure enough they'd never heard of such a thing being there, and if it were not for the fact they knew that Coffee Dwarves did not joke about the subject of coffee they'd have thought the Dwarf had gotten into a bad batch of corn squeezins. On his previous visits, Durok had heard about the perils inherent in trying to claim land in West Virginia, (at some point someone is going to show up with a land deed dated back a couple hundred years showing that they, not you own the land in question. This happened to my grandfather in the 50s) so he spoke further with the Elders, and learned the name of the family that owned not only the Coffee Mine but the Portal as well. They dwelt not too far from the portal, about a mile Southeast of it so with the help of a local manling, Durok was able to track them down and enter into negotiations. This took longer than you might think. The locals had over time somewhat gotten used to seeing Dwarves wandering about the mountains, but having one randomly show up on their doorstep was a different matter. They had come to discover that while it was impossible to hide a still from the Dwarves, they didn't destroy them. Quite the opposite. Dwarves look upon mankind as a form of taller, somewhat uncouth cousin who generally means well even if they need a good elfkicking every now and again. (and the reason for this will eventually be explained) So what the Dwarves would do after examining the still and having a good grumble over the hopeless workmanship of manlings, is repair, improve and refine them before moving onwards, leaving a trail of happy moonshiners in their wake. Because of this, and the other ways large and small that that local and Dwarf culture ran along similar lines, the family didn't greet Durok with a load of buckshot, but with a pint of shine and a slice of pie. Durok for his part, presented them with a small cask of Bugman's and a slab of bacon. After a bit of neighborly chitchat, he then asked what amount of gold the family would accept for several plots of land nearby. Negotiations began not long after noon, but didn't wrap up until well after sunset. Durok had expected this. The locals viewed land much in the same fashion as Dwarves, something that once in the family was a trust to be tended carefully and passed down. That said they also knew that the Dwarves were square in their dealings and that if they offered a price it was paid promptly and in gold. Also once they learned the reasons why the Dwarves were interested in the land, they figured that this was more or less inevitable and that keeping things friendly was the way to go. The family knew that the Dwarves took coffee deathly seriously, and would seek to claim the land one way or another, and that if it was forced to a feud, they'd be up against the entire kingdom. By the same token, reports of strange beasts and unholy creatures had been more frequent of late. Beyond that, the ongoing civil war that had been wracking the country for the last few years was heating up and there were rumors of a new Federal offensive aimed at several towns in the area. Having a hold of heavily armed Dwarves in the neighborhood provided a certain amount of protection from these things. So hands were shook, papers signed, libations drank, and by midnight Durok was on his way back and his new neighbors were staring in awe at the contents of the three large chests he'd left behind. Durok, Forthumbar, and the Exiles hurried back to Confefe Mountain where the Exiles were given special dispensation to linger in the surrounding area for a short time, and Durok made his report to King Granulo and his Council. (He also informed the King that the family had sold to him personally, as he was there and they knew him. So the King then proceeded to buy the deed from Durok at a slight mark up, King Granulo had expected this and felt that the markup wasn't paticularly onerous, but he still sentenced Durok to leaving his home in Confefe Mountain and taking up residence at the new hold. They both pretended this was punishment. Durok became a Ranger in part to get away from his mother in law who lived next door and her constant nagging. Both he and his wife were delighted that they now had an honorable excuse to get away from her, and Durok could finally spent time with his family.) Bean Priest Skorveld had questioned Durok extensively on the reports that the mine had seemly appeared out of no where, and after a night of meditation on these matters, he proclaimed that this was a Miracle of Agamenthar and that it was proof that it was the destiny of the Dwarves to go forth and colonize the new world. He declared also three days of celebration in honor of this. (much to the suprise of everyone that knew him. Skorveld was not known for his sense of humor, and even those who knew him as a beardling could not remember any occasion where he expressed anything faintly resembling mirth. On the second day, he was sighted several times bursting into song and once was found dancing on a table. It was said that this was also a Miracle of Agamenthar) Once the festival ended, the serious politicking began. A coalition of Bean Priests, (including an again dour Skorveld), and members of the Engineers, Brewers, and other Guilds were demanding that this new hold be run by a staunch traditionalist Dwarf who would "resist the corruption of manling ways". A rival coalition, made up of "radical" (by Dwarf standards) engineers, Dunkin Dwarves, and others were demanding that the new hold be a place were innovation was allowed to run free to the benefit of all. Many Jarls, Thanes, and other ranking Dwarves volunteered, speaking in ways that would appease one faction or the other. King Granulo put up with this for as far as his patience would take him, (a little under 3 hours), then put his foot down. He informed the Council that last he checked he was still King, and religious matters relating to the site aside, he had the deed to the land so the decision of who it was granted to was his and his alone and anyone who cared to dispute him on this had best have room in his backside for a King sized iron boot. This managed to shut everyone up for several minutes. It was the will of the King that the new hold be granted to Jarl Jorvik and the other survivors of Clan Kava. After a moment more of silence, this was greeted by enthusiam by both factions. It was the perfect compromise, letting both sides think that they had won. (Which King Granulo knew it would be, he just wanted to throw Jorvik's name out before anyone else beat him to it. A King comes to no harm by gaining a reputation for wisdom...) In the next chapter we will go into the history of Clan Kava, which deserves a section all it's own.
  4. Lord of the Dish Pit

    The Coffee Dwarves of Confefe Mountain

    The Miners have gotten their skin based in Bronzed Shadow as Jarl Jorvik looks on. (His face and hands are completely covered, but he makes up for this by being mostly beard) Up next is a bit of lore concerning Jarl Jorvik inspired by the odd number of the troops that came with the box set. 10 Thunderers make sense, 8 Miners does not seem like a viable unit for Warhammer. 12 Clansdwarves could work until you tried to reinforce them. The unit boxes contained 16 troops so adding a box to the existing Clansdwarves brings us to 28, which would look strange as a formed unit. As would 24 miners. This is of course much ado about nothing, and was certainly dictated by GW's cost concerns at the time, (not that I'm complaining. I got two small armies and scenery bits for $45, I wish that were true now!), but left me with an interesting enigma to account for. So I brewed up a fresh pot and communed with the Spirit of Agamenthar, who informed me of the following... ok, there's going to be a slight delay with the lore. I flipped back a page only to discover that now an hour and a half's worth of typing disappeared when I came back to finish it up. So I'm going to just post this as it is and come back to it later.
  5. Lord of the Dish Pit

    The Coffee Dwarves of Confefe Mountain

    And...They Are Done! (ok so I still have to do the bases, but after almost 5 months I'm not picking nits) I have however learned a valuable lesson from this, do the command group first before the fatigue sets in.
  6. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    I'm sure she is plotting her revenge.
  7. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Gulthias Tree (Citadel Woods)

    (grabs loaf of bread, begins filling toaster while settling in) I've seen a lot of cool things done with these trees. Are they going to be getting faces of some kind or does it feed through the roots?
  8. Lord of the Dish Pit

    The Coffee Dwarves of Confefe Mountain

    I finally got a bit more progress on the command group. Did a few more touch ups with Highlight Orange, some of which will need to be hit with the Brown Wash and gone over again. Other details have been picked out in Balthezar Gold. Not pictured are a unit of 8 Miners and Jarl Jorvik who have gotten their Linen White undercoating.
  9. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    Ok I must have accidentally taken out the God-Weed during my last trimming. All day rain, and when I looked on the news the system was squatting over the entirety of Kendall County but not extending too far over the edges of it! So we're being picked out and targeted apparently. I fear for the pumpkins, hopefully they won't be washed out. The fat little birds also seem to be aware that something's up. When I went to feed them, I was greeted by sodden sparrows with forlorn gazes, judging me. If it weren't for their lack of bladder control I'd be tempted to let them crash inside overnight. I think tomorrow I'll check the strategic wood reserve and see if I can scrap together a rain shelter for them.
  10. Lord of the Dish Pit

    50340 Zombie Nazi Soldiers and Friends

    I put off doing these several months ago, due to the fact that the Vallejo colors I intended to use on their uniforms had a tendency to go glossy once matte sealer was applied. It turns out the way around this was to mix them with Reaper Stormy and Rainy Grays. I attempted to match the early war M36 colors, thinking that these were early casualties ripped back from the grave. Their leader is a Warlord Games SS Vampire who I got with a British Vampire hunter as part of the Out For the Count blister. I was tempted to paint him in all black, but decided to give him the same uniform as the zombies, so as to tie them together a bit better. I kept the red on his cloak darker than I would with a fantasy vampire as fantasy vampire don't usually have to worry about snipers. And now a shot of my horror themed WW2 stuff thus far.
  11. Lord of the Dish Pit

    02856 Usher, Vampire with Victim

    I found this to be one of the more challenging figures I've painted. A lot of skin, a lot of hair, and a lot of thin strands of hair next to skin. I went with the Evening Sky triad for his cloak, since it goes nicely with the Red Hair triad I used on his friend. With both of those I only highlighted to mid range, as I didn't think bright highlights would match the whole midnight tryst thing they've got going on. It's barely visible in the picture, but at the bottom of her right eye is a very thin line of black to denote her eyelid. As much as I'd like to claim skill in getting it there, it was pure luck more than anything.The strands of her hair covering his head don't quite match my original mix, as I had no idea they were there until I went to finish his skin.
  12. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    I came across a series of photographs from the Chicago Mothman flap. As far as the Pilsen sighting goes....it was a large bird possibly a heron. It was very obviously a bird in the picture, I'm kinda irritated that the guy who took the pictures even tried to tie this in. But there are still some other 60 odd sightings that have yet to be debunked so you never know. And no one has any clue about who or what is dropping crap on Canada. (Maybe Mothman is miffed about a bird being mistaken for him. As to why he chose to punish Canada instead of Chicago...I imagine there is less chance of him taking ground fire there.)
  13. Lord of the Dish Pit

    May-be I should finish some of these...

    In accordance with the title of May's hobby goal section, and getting a bit bored with using the same colors over and over, I decided to open up the Box of Waiting and found these.... (back left corner) 2 Wizkids Blink Hounds (back to us as NSFW) Vampire with Victim (big guy in the back) Dungeon Saga Zombie Ogre Wizard (in front of Zombie Ogre) Dungeon Saga Necromancer (right of Zombie Ogre) 2 Wizkids Ghouls (right of Ghouls) Female Wraith from Graveyard Expansion (next to Necromancer) Undead Wolf from Graveyard Expansion (next to Wolf) Female Mad Scientist (next to Mad Scientist) Stone (next to Stone) Reaper WW2 Zombie German (last on right) Orc from Learn to Paint kit (front rank) various Mousings from the Tavern Set and Thankgiving and Christmas Mouslings. There's more, but this is everything that has had more than priming applied. First up was the Female Mad Scientist, who was one of the first minis I bought when I got back into the hobby. I started on her not long before I left Austin, and while I was happy with how most of her came out, I got a bit lost in what to do with her base. Her weapon and smiting glove were also unfinished. There's a touch up on her face from where she got chipped in transit, but the patch doesn't seem to show in pictures. (yay!) I got her weapons finished, a bit of purple on her hat ribbon, and the beginings of her base. The wraith, wolf, and ghouls received a coat of black wash over the parts that were already gray, and the wraith and wolf got further applications of Storm Gray. The skin on the ghouls was a base of Vampire Skin washed with Rainy Gray. Now that I have the rest of the triad, I can start getting them highlighted.
  14. Lord of the Dish Pit

    May-be I should finish some of these...

    Ok so maybe the necromancer won't be that straightfoward... His top cowl is done in Deep Twilight and Violet light, his front cloth in Red Gore/Black mixes, and I outlined his hair in Vampiric Shadow. Basically I'm recycling a lot of the colors I used on Usher and the Germans. I can see where I previously went over his robes with a Black/Gray mix, and I'm thinking on redoing those areas in a deep blue. Necromancer aren't generally known to be all that colorful, but given how many layers of robes he has, I'd like to avoid overdoing Black/Gray on him. I'm also unsure as what to do his the hanging strands of cloth. I'm thinking a White/Sepia combination with some freehanded symbols of some kind. His rising minion got hit with some black wash as did the bony bits of the zombie ogre/troll/shaman thing.
  15. Lord of the Dish Pit

    May-be I should finish some of these...

    Usher, victim and the undead Germans are done and I'm waiting for the matte sealer to dry. So onwards to the Dungeon Saga stuff. The necromancer should be pretty straightforward, but the ogre is giving me pause for thought. My original plan was to use vampire skin and a purple tint on him and have his clothes look like they had been stitched from the skins of his victims. But I'm not sure if I'm going to go that light on his skin, with the purple it might come off as a bit more Slaaneshi than undead...and if I go for a more usual skin tone, that would rule out the victim skin fashonwear. (As I learned with Usher and victim, having skin tones side by side can be a pain in the elf to work with) As a way of buying time, I've begun finishing up on the Thunderer Command, who have sat unfinished for far too long anyway.
  16. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Jasper Paint GW?? AoS Kharadron Overlords

    (nukes bag of popcorn, settles in) I've been debating whether or not to invest in a few of these, seeing as how in my world of the unhinged the Coffee Dwarves are on a bit of a science bender. The torso piece kinda reminds me of the power armor from Fallout. Are you going to be following the box art or do you have another color scheme in mind? I have a bunch of Mordheim Skaven, and I remember them being a bit of pain. But the old style zombies and skeletons were a lot easier to work with as body sections. The zombies also matched well with the empire regiment making kitbashing easy. I did a box of the newer skeletons a few years ago and while I loved the fact that they were decently armored, the assembly was more irritating than the older style.
  17. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Getting to Know You, June 2018

    I refer to them as poison love apples. Most of the time I don't mind odd pronunciations, my own can get rather creative at times. That said there was one time while I was in Austin that I did get rather heated over this. I had heard about a job opening on a road that I was told was "Maynor". I could not find it on my map, so I bought another more detailed map. It wasn't there either. So I went to the person who had told me of it and asked where the elf this road was. He pointed to "Manor Road." "Why the elf do you add an "Ay" to a word that doesn't have an "i" or a "y"?! Why do you do that?!" "That's what it's called ya damn yankee!" "Look I can understand how Guadalupe becomes Guada-loop. I can understand cutting off a syllable, but this is not Wheel of Fortune and you cannot just buy an elfing vowel and shove it in there! And I am not a yankee, I am a flatlander! Also while we're at it, just because you throw a few dams down on a river does not make it a series of elfing lakes!" "How much coffee did ya drink? Y'all seem kinda twitchy." "Not enough!"
  18. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    That is why when the nice man who is friends with the bookies tells you to keep it in the spread....you keep it in the spread! Oh wait a minute...game of thrones, not local sports....
  19. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    Meanwhile in Canada....... Kelowna British Columbia residents have reported incidents since mid May of strange sludge falling from the sky. Transport Canada has investigated the incidents and stated the following, "The department's review has concluded that these incidents do not meet the description of blue ice and are therefore not aviation related."-Anne Joanette, Transport Canada rep. Possible culprits: The flying moose of the Royal Canadian Mounted Air Force A Giant Pigeon The machinations of Buglips The Wendigo ate several people whom it had trouble digesting Aliens found a new way to prank us
  20. Lord of the Dish Pit

    May-be I should finish some of these...

    The boots and helmets got a quick highlight of Black/Stormy Gray mix and the lbes are Oiled leather with Brown Wash. The metal parts of their gear are Blackened and Honed Steel. The bases are Steel Legion Drab and Brown Wash. The cloak got the same mix as the boots, and his dagger and medal were done with Honed Steel. I still need to do his final skin highlight, but I'm holding off to the end as Usher also needs his.
  21. Lord of the Dish Pit

    June Hobby GOALS!!!!!!

    I've managed to get a few of these done so the updated list... 8 Mouslings DS Necromancer DS Zombie Ogre Vermina (in Simple Green) Coffee Dwarf Thunderer Command Group Stuff that might be finished this week... Zombie Germans (almost done, currently working on) German Vampire (almost done, currently working on) Usher with Victim (just needs a skin highlight and some hair touchups)
  22. Lord of the Dish Pit

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    We're civilized folk here....we use spray paint for that!
  23. Lord of the Dish Pit

    May-be I should finish some of these...

    After a thin mix of Black Wash and a dab of Wash Medium, I went over both pants and tunics with the base colors mixed with Rainy Gray. The vampire's cloak was done in a Red Gore/Black mix, then I added a bit more Red Gore and highlighted. Now that I have the uniforms where I want them these should go a bit quicker.
  24. Lord of the Dish Pit

    May-be I should finish some of these...

    Base of Luftwaffe Uniform mixing with Stormy and Rainy Grays.
  25. Lord of the Dish Pit

    May-be I should finish some of these...

    In the immortal words of Snoopy..."It was a Dark and Stormy Night.." Hence perfect for continuing with undead Wehrmacht! Ok so in neither of these pics does it show well, but the initial coat of Feildgrey was mixed with Stormy Gray and later Rainy Gray for some highlights on the tunics. It kinda sorta shows to the eye, but I'm going to hold off on the temptation to go further with it until after I get their pants done. I suspect the large amount of black might be throwing my eye off slightly.
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