Nolatari

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About Nolatari

  • Rank
    Enlightened
  • Birthday 08/24/92

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Bozeman, MT
  • Interests
    Painting minis, reading, writing, sleeping, eating
  1. I love what the filters changed the profanities to. "Son of a woof" is my new favorite quote.
  2. Deep in VR, the icon of the hacker sent to assist Mod screamed and vanished. He stopped, and just as he realized what happened a large wound appeared on his icon's leg. "Crap." He thinks, clenching his jaw in pain. He switches back to AR and looks around the room where he's jacked in. A large explosion had torn the room to shreds, and shrapnel had severed his femoral artery. Blood sprayed from the injury with every heart beat. Only a couple of minutes before he bled out. He activated his earpiece. "Imouto, can you hear me?" He huffed through gritted teeth. High above Essen, atop Lofwyr's back, Maisie heard Mod's pained voice. "Mod, what's wrong?" "I'm hurt, Maisie. Bad. I don't have enough time to reprogram the system. I have to shut it down." "What happened to the other hacker?" Mod looked to his left and saw the other hacker severed almost completely in half by a plate of plasteel. "Dead." "Hang on, Ani. We'll get help!" "No time. I have to set the program now before I bleed out. Love you, kid. Wreak some havoc." Maisie grew quiet, then angry. "Lofwyr...let's bring that oversized son of a woof down." "There is no time! We must get you to the Primer!" The great dragon's voice boomed in Maisie's head. "Then do it!" Maisie snapped. The gold dragon let out a roar and dived into the fray. Back down at the jackpoint, Mod's body went limp as he switched back to VR. He set the program to shut the system down. He went to jack out, but was hit by a surprise attack from IC, jamming his connection open. Mod gasped as everything went black. Outside, every drone and guard linked to the system shut down and crumpled to the ground. Mod's body began to twitch and spasm from the massive surge of biofeedback as the system crashed. The seizure only stopped after the force of the spasms ripped the wires from his datajack. His body went limp and his fried brain forced a few more ragged breaths before his body finally succumbed to blood loss. Ok, so few explanations here. "Imouto" is Japanese for "Little Sister", and "Ani" is "Big Brother". They are not actually related, but are like family to each other. As for the rest, I'll allow you to speculate. ;)
  3. Thanks guys! I'm super excited! They were mostly impressed with my ability to keep all of the lore straight, even going as far back as Earthdawn. For that reason alone, my story is going to take a while to finish. It's one of the few things I'm incredibly anal about. I won't even continue to game with a group that can't/won't keep true to lore. Lol
  4. The big dogs at Shadowrun like my story! They told me to let them know when I'm done with my rough draft, and they'll give me the email to their editor! I'm smiling so hard my cheeks hurt! AHHHH!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! I can't believe this!
  5. Fifty innocent people dead. Fifty two wounded. My heart goes out to them and their families.
  6. Here's descriptions of all the characters I made for the story. Gregor (Greg) MacLellan - Age: 48 Race: Troll Birthplace: Aberdeen City, Scotland Archetype: Gunner Personality: Gruff and firm, but also fair and kind. Very protective of his street adopted daughter, Maisie. Other info: Kicked out of home after goblinizing into a Troll at age 13. Moved to Washington, UCAS where he was raised by Mothers of Metahumans. Former UCAS Marine. Lost his right arm protecting a high-ranking UCAS polititian, and was gifted a cybernetic replacement after his honorable discharge. Turned to Shadowrunning after Sam found him drunk and half-dead on the streets. Relocated to Berlin in 2072. Maisie - Age: 17 Race: Elf Birthplace: Unknown, found by Greg as a baby in Berlin Archetype: Magician with a strong Shamanic lean Personality: Highly intelligent, curious, stubborn, loving, and protective. Loves her street adopted dad Greg dearly. Other info: SIN-less, abandoned as a newborn, dragon-blooded. Nip - Age: 35 Race: Human Birthplace: Unknown Archetype: Cat shaman Personality: Humorous, intelligent, and slightly crazy. Other info: Maisie's mentor in magic. Mod AKA Tatsuo Mashinnisundeimasu (had his last name legally changed to that after receiving his PhD) - Age: 77 Race: Elf Birthplace: Kyoto, Japanese Imperial State Archetype: Decker/Hacker Personality: Highly intelligent, loves tech, cares for his teammates, nerdy. Other Info: Possesses a PhD in Computer Science, tutored Maisie in math, science, and most other subjects. Jack Ryan - Age: 47 Race: Dwarf Birthplace: Tir na nOg Archetype: Rigger Personality: Gleefully insane, drinks heavily. Other Info: Not much is known about his past. Greg and Sam saved him from getting killed in a bar fight. Gets angry when asked about his past. Samson "Sam" Garcia - Age: 46 Race: Human Birthplace: Boston, UCAS Archetype: Adept Personality: Quite, reserved, honest, prone to fits of anger. Other Info: Served alongside Greg in the Marines. Sought him out after his general discharge, and the pair turned to Shadowrunning together. Pip - Age: Same as her fraternal twin, Nip Race: Ork (she goblinized at puberty, but Nip remained human) Birthplace: Unknown Archetype: Dog shaman Personality: Both the equal and opposite of Nip. Very loyal and loving. Other info: Exchanged playful flirts with Greg, but it never evolved into anything serious. Not actually a member of the team, but runs an underground safehouse for runners who need to lay low for a while. Maisie calls her "Mama Pip".
  7. Mary Sue is not found in her power level, but in her excessive importance. A Damsel in Distress can be a Mary Sue, if everyone thinks she is the most important thing in the world. Your character is throwing the world into chaos just from existing, not from anything she's done. The angst you are describing for your character ('oh, what a tragedy that I will join the immortals while these I love are to be lost to dust and ashes, what a cruelty is the Sixth World' sort of thing) is a classic Mary Sue kind of thing. Just by way of example of the kind of problems that you can have diving into canon, you describe Lofwyr as feeling guilty. My reaction to that is "Lofwyr, feel guilty?" what? From my perspective as a long time Shadowrun player you're already bending the canon character's past the breaking point and that's just from a chance comment. I guess "guilty" would be the wrong word. Responsible, perhaps? Saying he cares about her might be going too far, but he wouldn't want her dead. The backlash from the other immortals would be massive. That said, all of the characters are still open to change, as I've only just started my first draft. Right now I'm just getting the idea out. I'm not trying to Mary Sue Maisie, but instead make her personality realistic. Any advice would be welcome. The best way to make a character realistic is from the inside. Begin with how she thinks. This does not mean what does she think about, but how does she think? What ways of thinking is she good at and which are difficult for her. How easy is it for her to shift perspectives? How easy is it for her to put herself in someone else's place. Move on to what interests her. What things does she like to do? What activities get her mind going? What is she utterly indifferent to? What does she find beautiful and interesting? What's boring? Does she have an easy or hard time sharing in the activities of others and if so which others and what activities? She's presumably magically active, so how does the astral look to her? What spirits does she interact with on a regular basis? Does she prefer being in her body or flying in the Astral? Does she spend much time in the Matrix and, if so, what does she do there? Who are her friends? Who would she like to be friends with? Who can she relate to and who can relate to her? What are her other senses like? What affects does her draconic heritage have on her thinking, her senses, her body, her mind, her astral body, etc? What schooling or training has she had? Who were her teachers and fellow students? How did she get along with them? How well known is her status? Have people been trying to manipulate her or kill her since she was a baby or is this recently discovered? Work out her background on a personal level until you have a good feel for her. You know you have a character properly constructed when the character goes its own way in your mind regardless of how you want the plot to go. I'll try to answer these in order. Forgive me if I mix them up or accidentally skip one. She's pretty stubborn, but empathetic. She reads a LOT, practices magic, cares for the stray animals in the area (a quality she picked up from Nip), and tormenting her dad, Greg. She has a slight fear of guns, and finds the care and maintenance of weaponry to be tedious and mind-numbing. She shares her love of reading with Jack, and actually taught him how to read. She doesn't spend much time on the astral plane or interacting with spirits unless Nip is with her.She still prefers her own body, and spends virtually no time in the Matrix except to communicate with others. She has no implants or bioware whatsoever, not even a datajack. She has a commlink, but that's it. She's friends with all of her "family". Greg, Sam, Mod, Nip, Pip, and Jack. She also becomes friends with Hestaby, and eventually, Ehran. She would like to be friends with Harlequin, as she finds his mercurial and unpredictable behavior fascinating. She wants to understand not just who he is, but what made him that way. She also ends up on good terms with Sean Laverty. She's civil with most of the dragons, but has a lot of anger towards Lofwyr and anyone who took Alamais' side. Her draconic heritage gives her more strength (physically and mentally) than she realizes, and she can use slightly more magic than normal before feeling the effects of drain. Only visibly odd thing about her is her gold eyes, but most people wrote it off as a SURGE trait or something similar. She's also just as stubborn as any dragon, and is very sentimental. She has a small "hoard" of her own, which consists mostly of shiny and/or strange baubles. Her favorite place to be in in the attic of Pip's home, and that is where she stores her little hoard. She even has Mod's old datajack from when he upgraded, and Greg's old dog tags. Her astral body has a bright gold aura, but one of the first things Nip taught her was how to mask it to avoid drawing unwanted attention. She speaks English, German (she was raised in Berlin), and a tiny bit of Japanese thanks to Mod (hello, goodbye, etc.). She has a knack for learning languages, and eventually picks up Sperethiel under Ehran's tutelage. She's also able to communicate with the dragons telepathically, just like the dragons communicate with each other. Being SIN-less, she's had no formal education, but Nip trains her in magic and taught her to read, and Mod tutors her in everything else (math, science, etc). She loves Nip like an uncle, and Mod like an older brother. Mod's nickname for her is Imouto (Japanese for little sister). Alamais and the men he sent to kill her mother are the only ones who knew about her, but they all believed her to be dead. Alamais' goons made the mistake of leaving her to die of exposure in a back alley instead of actually killing her, and Greg found her. Neither Greg nor anyone else ever knew who she really was. They all assumed her bio parents chipped out/got high/etc and wandered off. Not even Lofwyr was aware of her existence.
  8. Mary Sue is not found in her power level, but in her excessive importance. A Damsel in Distress can be a Mary Sue, if everyone thinks she is the most important thing in the world. Your character is throwing the world into chaos just from existing, not from anything she's done. The angst you are describing for your character ('oh, what a tragedy that I will join the immortals while these I love are to be lost to dust and ashes, what a cruelty is the Sixth World' sort of thing) is a classic Mary Sue kind of thing. Just by way of example of the kind of problems that you can have diving into canon, you describe Lofwyr as feeling guilty. My reaction to that is "Lofwyr, feel guilty?" what? From my perspective as a long time Shadowrun player you're already bending the canon character's past the breaking point and that's just from a chance comment. I guess "guilty" would be the wrong word. Responsible, perhaps? Saying he cares about her might be going too far, but he wouldn't want her dead. The backlash from the other immortals would be massive. That said, all of the characters are still open to change, as I've only just started my first draft. Right now I'm just getting the idea out. I'm not trying to Mary Sue Maisie, but instead make her personality realistic. Any advice would be welcome.
  9. Infrequently Vile You are infrequently vile – you mostly put others before yourself, though you may find occasions in which your dark side shines.
  10. I took great care to not Mary Sue the heck out of Maisie. She's not any more powerful than any other magician her age, she doesn't have a sudden flash of god-like power at just the right moment. Literally the only advantage being dragon-blooded gives her is being immune to age, disease, poisons, and pathogens, and even that is a very bittersweet perk given that she'll watch every member of the only family she's ever known wither and die, and she'll suffer from some pretty major PTSD for the foreseeable future. She has a LOT of trouble coping with everything. She never loses her heart of gold, but over time slowly gets closer and closer to Aina Dupree levels of unstable and eccentric. I don't know why this is all highlighted.
  11. I cannot support the above statement enough. I first read this and have been wracking my brain in how to say something constructive and helpful that doesn't come across as knocking your idea down. I don't want to do that. When you are writing something like this set in a very well known setting, using big names as main parts of your plot (instead of cameos) can be detrimental. Writing them without knowing the proper "voice" will be especially difficult. Also, I can tell you now, having a half-dragon/half-elf "look at meeeee" type of character is, as stated, very Mary Sueish and will garner the derision of many of the older Shadowrun community. Twenty years ago half-dragon/half-elves were derided and made fun of then by people writing or heavily involved in Shadowrun, and the same can likely be said now. Instead, make up your own NPC characters. Your own organizations, cults, gangs, companies. You can then own their voice and decide how they act. However, if you are writing this only for yourself with no intention of others reading it, completely disregard and have fun with it. I've created several new characters for the story that play a huge role (they're basically Maisie's family). Greg, Sam, Mod, Nip, Pip, and Jack. Maisie is definitely not a "look at me" type. She wants justice for her dad's murder, but would otherwise like to simply disappear. She's lived her whole life in the shadows, so being suddenly thrust into the limelight is extremely uncomfortable for her. After the dust settles, she pretty much goes into hiding. She acts exactly how any other traumatized 17 year old would react. The only real advantage being dragon-blooded gives her is being really hard to kill, but even that is bittersweet for her. She ends up leaning heavily on Ehran and Sean Laverty for support and guidance. She may be immortal, but she's still a child who was just forced to grow up way to fast and has a lot of mental health problems as a result. Lofwyr feels at least a little guilty for what she had to go through, but there's exactly nothing he can do to help other than ensure she lives the rest of her days in comfort.
  12. I'll admit that that Maisie walks the border between ok and mary sue, but has so far managed to pass the litmus test. All of the currently living immortal elves are descendants of elves who mated with dragons back during the first and second worlds, so it used to be a lot more common. It only became taboo after the immortal elves rebelled against the dragons. Maisie's existence also shows that magic levels in the world are getting close to their peak. That's why some want her dead, and other know that dragons and immortal elves are the only ones who can go toe-to-toe with the Horrors and win. The Horrors will be showing up relatively soon, so they can't afford to lose someone who can help in the fight. Shadowrun is known for having almost solely self-interested characters. Everyone is in it for themselves. Maisie still has that youthful desire to save the world, but is too naive to understand how the world actually works. She fights to the death to protect people, and that makes her both incredibly powerful, but also very vulnerable. She's a bleeding heart, and it costs her dearly. People have been asking for a new immortal or a new dragon for a while, as well as more crossover into the Earthdawn universe as the magic levels get higher. I give them that. Magic. It's a very complex system in the Shadowrun universe. I make it more refined and easier to understand in my story. Harlequin and Lofwyr both show a more caring/merciful side. The ordeals with Aina Dupree and Feuerschwinge show that neither of them are heartless, but they have to be tough and distant in order to survive in such a harsh world. This is a rarely-seen side of them. I hope they see it as an evolution of canon, since everyone involved starts to focus on how to defeat the horrors when they arrive, and less on bickering with each other.
  13. I have donated heavily to TARC and Children's Mercy Hospitals in the past, and have it in my while that a certain percentage of my life insurance money will be donated to them upon my death. I've also volunteered with Friends of Local Foods, and 1,000 New Gardens since moving to Bozeman a few years ago, and now that I'm relocating to Tucson, I'm looking at volunteering at the Humane Society of Southern Arizona and the Trak Ranch.
  14. It's actually not as much as it sounds. There's quite a bit of backstory that is explained in dialogue, but the story mainly focuses on Maisie coming to terms with what she is and coping with the death of her street adopted dad (who's death kickstarts the plot) at the very formative and vulnerable age of 17, her, her team, and several of the big dogs of the SR universe helping Lofwyr get S-K back and stop Alamais once and for all. This is a novel-length story, so I can actually fit in quite a bit. The hardest part for me so far is keeping true to the lore, while also creating new lore that doesn't contradict what is already established as canon. It's a lot to juggle, but I like how it's turning out so far.
  15. Oh gods, someone showed up with a puppy. -watches everyone melt into goo at the sight of such adorable floofiness- Welp, it was nice knowing you guys.