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About kitchen_wolf

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  1. Um, about that.
  2. Herman, I think you need to increase the troops' rations:
  3. A Silverback got out of his enclosure at the London Zoo last year and went through 5 liters of black currant squash. That's 5 quarts of soda syrup (10 pounds of sugar) for us provincial heathens in the colonies. Means he'd be able to go through a case of those Unicorn Frappuccino things as a warm up before the real drinking started. In the event of actual violence:
  4. Is it me, or does it look like he's finishing up the little guy's "mini-me" haircut?
  5. Hopefully... Part of what paid for my house was vectoring agents onto smugglers in the vicinity of the current US border wall ("I told zem we've already got one..."), but in light of demand for a certain repugnant-looking beverage from a rather ubiquitous "coffee" chain, I think I could make a lot of sales by marketing the product as "Unicorn Dung".
  6. 4000 lbs. (two short tons) is a little small for a semi. Mostly I was quoting Mori. My usual explanation is that I got sucker-punched with a Volkswagen (probably a few hundredweight shy of 2 short tons). Driven by an O/R tech (in scrubs), and knocked into a contractor's work truck. I was in an army uniform at the time, so when we all got out to exchange info we looked like The Village People. But the rest is more or less correct, except that the vestibular effects from vehicular acceleration forces cause difficulty uni-tasking (never mind multi) and usually last for 10-14 days. I don't get out much.
  7. So, funny story about driver's licenses. Guy in a 4,000 lb. metal box nearly killed me because he was texting, probably about something important like which drive-thru to bring home dinner from. Not the funny part unless you're really into Kafka (a hostile universe can destroy you at random at any time - hilarity ensues). When I renewed the license, there's a box to check about new medical conditions that might change my status. Nearly killed applies, since I can't reliably stay awake behind the wheel, have some pretty serious balance issues, and if I so much as *ride* in a car have my verbal communication skills limited to, at best, "Buggerit! Millennium Hand and shrimp!". DMV says it's cool - no license restrictions. I figure that you should be fine. Spoilered math nerd stuff:
  8. Where do you think all the coffee goes?
  9. I'm assuming gizzard, singular. I throw them away. The critters won't eat them. Hearts and livers I can work with, but gizzard is just not worth it. Especially if you have to remove gizzard stones (only gotta miss one).
  10. Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
  11. Time to bathe the cat again? I spent several years training folks on this stuff professionally. Vest (velcro!) and helmet are pretty quick, gloves aren't too bad, shinguards are usually the fiddly bit (buckles...). Overall it's comparable to any other contact sports armor, but you don't have to mess with a jersey. Police that wear it in the US are usually poorly trained (riots are thankfully rare here), so it takes longer and hinders them more.
  12. I have a candidate for that...
  13. Since you mentioned it, this is a Reaper article on painting eyes.