Jump to content

Sign in to follow this  
Dr.Bedlam

Cranky Old Man

Recommended Posts

35 years ago, I worked at a convenience store in central Texas.

In central Texas, it is against the law to buy or sell beer before noon on Sunday.

Nearly every Sunday, I would get a minimum of one person who would come in and attempt to buy beer and throw a &%@$# fit because I would not sell it to them. Often, rather than simply walk out, they would ARGUE with me, attempting to explain, justify, and otherwise verbify "no" into "yes, I will sell you the beer despite the fact that it's eight thirty and who in ghod's name needs beer that bad at eight thirty of a Sunday morning?"

They'd scream. They'd holler. They'd threaten. They'd cajole. They'd beg. They'd lie. They'd argue. They'd offer (insultingly tiny) bribes. They'd do straw men, logical fallacy, and insane troll logic. They'd threaten to simply STEAL the beer, walk out with it right then and there (and frankly, I usually wished they would; there was a procedure for that, and it wouldn't have done ME any harm, and it would have gotten rid of an annoying loud jerk, but  not one of them ever did just steal the dratted beer).

I had an explanation. The paraphrased form went a bit like this: "I am very sorry, but it is illegal to sell beer before noon on Sunday. If I violate that law, and get caught, this store will be fined by the State and potentially shut down, and I will be immediately fired from my job AND face State charges for willful violation of the law. Plus, you see that camera up there? The video would be Exhibit A in my trial, and I cannot access the videotape to erase it." (the last part was a lie; I knew where the tape was, but I often threw that last part in just to see if it would shut anyone up) In short, "I don't want to risk jail and fines just so you can have beer, even if you offer to let me keep the change from a five."

It never worked. Responses ranged from "you won't get caught, I won't tell," to "But WHY won't you sell me the beer?" (Yes, but WHY is the rum burning?)

I never did sell anyone any beer before noon on Sunday, though, and consequently never faced any charges for doing so. Presumably, scattered throughout central Texas, I have many enemies whose hatred for me still burns with the heat of a supernova for my evil and selfish deeds.

But that was 35 years ago.

Today, I will rage, gripe, froth, and castigate Reaper because they won't sell me any of the old DOOM miniatures.

Come at me, bros.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, tamper evident packaging. I get it. You want to know if someone's been in your Tylenol, because some creep back in the day decided to poison a bunch of folks. I don't LIKE it, but I understand it.

What I do NOT understand is over the counter medication intended to ease the suffering of (and be accessed by) sick people... and the packaging is not only tamper evident, but harder to get into than the tomb of King Tut. C'mon, man, I'm SICK, the LAST thing I want to have to do is take a hammer and chisel to your @#$% packaging!

Grrrr.

  • Like 8
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The last time I had to open medicine by myself when I was sick (I usually hand it over to Hubby with a whine of defeat), the dang bottle ended up with several stab wounds and a few smashed pills in the bottom. It was a small price to pay for the feeling of victory over that vile inanimate object :rolleyes:

  • Like 8
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, the Inverse Law of Packaging Strength.

 

Buy something like a hammer and it will come in a shatter-proof plastic clamshell that will break half your fingernails and require bolt-cutters to get into safely.

 

Half a dozen eggs, on the other hand, are precariously stored in the flimsiest cardboard that science can devise.

  • Like 8
  • Thanks 2
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The pinnacle of box design for food products was the late sixties. Most boxes are still using those designs.

Plastics, polymers, and adhesives, on the other hand, have marched onward.

Meanwhile, box makers have made boxes thinner and flimsier, to save money.

Therefore, in order to get at my cereal, I attempt to peel the box top open, only to destroy the box top because the glue is stronger than the actual cardboard. And then I get a pair of scissors because the bag is so tough, it's even odds that the muscle to open the bag will also spray my kitchen with Oat Squares.

And don't even get me started on clamshell packaging.

Grrr. Grouchy.

  • Like 7
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 2
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

The pinnacle of box design for food products was the late sixties. Most boxes are still using those designs.

Plastics, polymers, and adhesives, on the other hand, have marched onward.

Meanwhile, box makers have made boxes thinner and flimsier, to save money.

Therefore, in order to get at my cereal, I attempt to peel the box top open, only to destroy the box top because the glue is stronger than the actual cardboard. And then I get a pair of scissors because the bag is so tough, it's even odds that the muscle to open the bag will also spray my kitchen with Oat Squares.

And don't even get me started on clamshell packaging.

Grrr. Grouchy.

 

… this is honestly why I carry a knife around with me pretty well everywhere I go.

Clamshells? KNIFE. Box? KNIFE. Bag? KNIFE!

 

Inexplicably stapled double-thick cardboard box?  … KNIFE! (… well, at least to get the staples into a place where I can get hold of them with pliers and pull the *censored!* things out.

  • Like 10
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Sylverthorne said:

 

… this is honestly why I carry a knife around with me pretty well everywhere I go.

Clamshells? KNIFE. Box? KNIFE. Bag? KNIFE!

 

Inexplicably stapled double-thick cardboard box?  … KNIFE! (… well, at least to get the staples into a place where I can get hold of them with pliers and pull the *censored!* things out.

I think that my father used to carry around a tomahawk crate packer* for the same reason.... (And sometimes called it his 'pate cracker'.)

 

The Auld Grump

 

A combination of nail puller, hammer, and hatchet. For camping it was the hammer version of a Swiss knife.

  • Like 12

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

What I do NOT understand is over the counter medication intended to ease the suffering of (and be accessed by) sick people... and the packaging is not only tamper evident, but harder to get into than the tomb of King Tut. C'mon, man, I'm SICK, the LAST thing I want to have to do is take a hammer and chisel to your @#$% packaging!
 

 

Yup. Try opening "safety" caps when your hands don't work from arthritis.  I actually called one drug company a few years ago and explained to their customer service person just how much it hurts me to push a pill through that plastic and foil bubble pack. 

 

As for food packaging.... did you ever see John Belushi's samurai skits? 

 

  • Like 7
  • Haha 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

Okay, tamper evident packaging. I get it. You want to know if someone's been in your Tylenol, because some creep back in the day decided to poison a bunch of folks. I don't LIKE it, but I understand it.

What I do NOT understand is over the counter medication intended to ease the suffering of (and be accessed by) sick people... and the packaging is not only tamper evident, but harder to get into than the tomb of King Tut. C'mon, man, I'm SICK, the LAST thing I want to have to do is take a hammer and chisel to your @#$% packaging!

Grrrr.

I can understand the medicine and food packaging. What seriously befuddles me is the need for tamper proof packaging on things I put in my car, such as antifreeze or windshield wiper fluid. I'm really not too concerned about people putting poison into my poisonous chemicals.

  • Like 6
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I saw the title to this, I thought I was being paged.....

My former Boss said I spoke three languages, English, Sarcasm and Grouchy....

  • Like 4
  • Haha 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, paintybeard said:

Half a dozen eggs, on the other hand, are precariously stored in the flimsiest cardboard that science can devise.

OR they come in a plastic carton that snaps shut and STAYS shut, so that you use too much force opening it and your eggs attempt to fly before they hatch! 

 

Happened once when hubby was trying to make me French toast. I was pretty displeased to have to go back outside to get eggs.

  • Like 5
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel this so much.

 

I briefly worked in a bar that served food (They called it a restaurant but I think that's a bit of an overstatement)

 

We couldn't serve booze until noon as well-  but as we served breakfast, people wanted a beer with their breakfast, and would get truly livid if they couldn't have it. I only worked morning shifts very rarely so I didnt have to put up with it much but I got called every name under the sun for not serving breakfast booze. my usual response was just "This isnt Whetherspoons, take the orange juice or wait an hour" Customer service is not my strong suit.

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Inarah said:

 

Yup. Try opening "safety" caps when your hands don't work from arthritis.  I actually called one drug company a few years ago and explained to their customer service person just how much it hurts me to push a pill through that plastic and foil bubble pack. 

 

As for food packaging.... did you ever see John Belushi's samurai skits? 

 


Indeed. And yes, I was a big fan of Belushi's stint on SNL.
 

32 minutes ago, Chaoswolf said:

I can understand the medicine and food packaging. What seriously befuddles me is the need for tamper proof packaging on things I put in my car, such as antifreeze or windshield wiper fluid. I'm really not too concerned about people putting poison into my poisonous chemicals.


Tamper evident packaging does not bother me. I'm perfectly okay with knowing "Hey, someone got into this product before I did!" What bothers ME is allergy and cold medication that requires you to find a corner, peel the corner loose, peel off the thick bulletproof backing, and then push the damn pills out through the foil. Either that, or just get a dratted pair of scissors and CUT THE PACKAGING APART. Why do manufacturers insist on packaging that requires you to FIND and USE TOOLS to get into it? I thought this stuff was for SICK PEOPLE, for potato's sake!

And I don't wanna think too hard about how I'd get into a childproof cap if I had arthritis. My first thought involved a Dremel with a cutoff wheel...

Lastly: Do any of YOU have problems at the grocery store with people who SPEED UP LIKE HELL to get in front of you... and then stop cold?

I do. I can't go to a grocery store without this happening at least once. Someone spots me, puts on a burst of speed to get in front of me... and then it's like their brain locks up on them. What was I doing? Why am I here? Who am I? What was I looking for? And they stop cold. Right in front of me. Sometimes, they have the temerity to look at me funny when I patiently work my way around them. "How DARE you slip around me when I went to all this trouble to make you stop?"

Does anyone ELSE have this problem? I've had trips to the grocery store where I was sure there were a half dozen employees watching the monitors and ordering floorwalkers via bluetooth headphones to interfere with my passage as much as possible, like they're taking bets on how long it will take me to get to the frozen foods or something.

Grrrrrrr.

 

  • Like 8
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

Someone spots me, puts on a burst of speed to get in front of me... and then it's like their brain locks up on them. What was I doing? Why am I here? Who am I? What was I looking for? And they stop cold.

I can't say that happens to me much at the store, but then, I do my best to shop in the wee hours of the morning, when there's as few other customers around as possible. Do I have to wend my way amoung the pallets of food wiring to be placed on shelves? Sure, but at least I don't have to deal with people. 

 

As I get older I find that my patience for people's BS has lessened greatly.

  • Like 9
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Dr.Bedlam said:


Indeed. And yes, I was a big fan of Belushi's stint on SNL.
 


Tamper evident packaging does not bother me. I'm perfectly okay with knowing "Hey, someone got into this product before I did!" What bothers ME is allergy and cold medication that requires you to find a corner, peel the corner loose, peel off the thick bulletproof backing, and then push the damn pills out through the foil. Either that, or just get a dratted pair of scissors and CUT THE PACKAGING APART. Why do manufacturers insist on packaging that requires you to FIND and USE TOOLS to get into it? I thought this stuff was for SICK PEOPLE, for potato's sake!

And I don't wanna think too hard about how I'd get into a childproof cap if I had arthritis. My first thought involved a Dremel with a cutoff wheel...

Lastly: Do any of YOU have problems at the grocery store with people who SPEED UP LIKE HELL to get in front of you... and then stop cold?

I do. I can't go to a grocery store without this happening at least once. Someone spots me, puts on a burst of speed to get in front of me... and then it's like their brain locks up on them. What was I doing? Why am I here? Who am I? What was I looking for? And they stop cold. Right in front of me. Sometimes, they have the temerity to look at me funny when I patiently work my way around them. "How DARE you slip around me when I went to all this trouble to make you stop?"

Does anyone ELSE have this problem? I've had trips to the grocery store where I was sure there were a half dozen employees watching the monitors and ordering floorwalkers via bluetooth headphones to interfere with my passage as much as possible, like they're taking bets on how long it will take me to get to the frozen foods or something.

Grrrrrrr.

 

You need to ask the people at the Food and Drug Administration that one.

I've often pondered the same thing and speculate at what point some poor schmuck is going to be found dead with an unopened bottle of medicine and the obvious signs of struggle.

 

Many is the time I have wished for a pocket sized cattle prod.

GEM

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×