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Dr.Bedlam

Cranky Old Man

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My brother figured out how to get childproof caps off of bottles quickly and easily without pushing down and turning when he was

three (thankfully it was PAC-man vitamins and only a few

left in the bottle when he ate them all). All you have to do is find a counter with a sharp corner and slam the underside of the cap on it at an angle, then you may have to duck as the cap goes flying across the room. I recommend zipper top bags to put the contents of the bottle into. 

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11 hours ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

35 years ago, I worked at a convenience store in central Texas.

In central Texas, it is against the law to buy or sell beer before noon on Sunday.

Nearly every Sunday, I would get a minimum of one person who would come in and attempt to buy beer and throw a &%@$# fit because I would not sell it to them. Often, rather than simply walk out, they would ARGUE with me, attempting to explain, justify, and otherwise verbify "no" into "yes, I will sell you the beer despite the fact that it's eight thirty and who in ghod's name needs beer that bad at eight thirty of a Sunday morning?"

They'd scream. They'd holler. They'd threaten. They'd cajole. They'd beg. They'd lie. They'd argue. They'd offer (insultingly tiny) bribes. They'd do straw men, logical fallacy, and insane troll logic. They'd threaten to simply STEAL the beer, walk out with it right then and there (and frankly, I usually wished they would; there was a procedure for that, and it wouldn't have done ME any harm, and it would have gotten rid of an annoying loud jerk, but  not one of them ever did just steal the dratted beer).

I had an explanation. The paraphrased form went a bit like this: "I am very sorry, but it is illegal to sell beer before noon on Sunday. If I violate that law, and get caught, this store will be fined by the State and potentially shut down, and I will be immediately fired from my job AND face State charges for willful violation of the law. Plus, you see that camera up there? The video would be Exhibit A in my trial, and I cannot access the videotape to erase it." (the last part was a lie; I knew where the tape was, but I often threw that last part in just to see if it would shut anyone up) In short, "I don't want to risk jail and fines just so you can have beer, even if you offer to let me keep the change from a five."

It never worked. Responses ranged from "you won't get caught, I won't tell," to "But WHY won't you sell me the beer?" (Yes, but WHY is the rum burning?)

I never did sell anyone any beer before noon on Sunday, though, and consequently never faced any charges for doing so. Presumably, scattered throughout central Texas, I have many enemies whose hatred for me still burns with the heat of a supernova for my evil and selfish deeds.

But that was 35 years ago.

Today, I will rage, gripe, froth, and castigate Reaper because they won't sell me any of the old DOOM miniatures.

Come at me, bros.

I know it's contrary to the intent of the thread, but the DOOM minis are being re-released.  But you can be grumpy that they are only available in a box set for $200.  And not sold through reaper but the game company.

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9 hours ago, Sylverthorne said:

 

… this is honestly why I carry a knife around with me pretty well everywhere I go.

Clamshells? KNIFE. Box? KNIFE. Bag? KNIFE!

 

Inexplicably stapled double-thick cardboard box?  … KNIFE! (… well, at least to get the staples into a place where I can get hold of them with pliers and pull the *censored!* things out.

Ooo! What kind of a knife do you carry?

For years I carried around an old Wayne stockman knife that I inherited from my Grandfather. Which I recently realized I’ve now been carrying for longer than my Grandfather had so I’ve retired it due to its sentimental value and not wanting it damaged. 

Just bought a Buck stockman, but it’s not the model I really wanted but it will do till I can find the one I really want.

I alsohave a Buck 110 folding knife that I carried when I went hiking and still do when I go for my walks.

9 hours ago, TheAuldGrump said:

I think that my father used to carry around a tomahawk crate packer* for the same reason.... (And sometimes called it his 'pate cracker'.)

 

The Auld Grump

 

A combination of nail puller, hammer, and hatchet. For camping it was the hammer version of a Swiss knife.

I’ve a Buck utility knife that’s actually made by the Swiss company Wenger.

I carried it when I’d go cycling.

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1 minute ago, Darsc Zacal said:

Ooo! What kind of a knife do you carry?

 

 

 

Iiit's .. a box cutter, technically, one of those little folding things that has a holder for spare blades. With a Hello Kitty charm hanging from it that is a relic from the day I realized that my mother had one /just like it/, and I needed a way to differentiate it so I wouldn't lose it to a case of mistaken identity.

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Always carry  this, given me by my father on joining my first ship. (He inherited it from a sea-going uncle, I think.):

 

old-seamans-pocket-knife-closed-27593050.thumb.jpg.b404d5308ac720b9be052b11d61a7e70.jpg

 

Please note: Mine is rather more battered, but NOT RUSTY!!

 

 

 

 

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2 minutes ago, paintybeard said:

Always carry  this, given me by my father on joining my first ship. (He inherited it from a sea-going uncle, I think.):

 

old-seamans-pocket-knife-closed-27593050.thumb.jpg.b404d5308ac720b9be052b11d61a7e70.jpg

 

Please note: Mine is rather more battered, but NOT RUSTY!!

 

 

 

 

 

Not familiar with that style. What’s the pick on top for?

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I am grouchy.

Among the reasons for my grouchiness is that my home is a fetid pit of sickness. Has been pretty much most of December. My dear spouse and I have slouched around like twin avatars of Nurgle, the Two Horsemen Of The Apocalypse: Pestilence and Pestilential, coughing, gagging, sneezing, and leaking from various holes and orifices and apologizing to each other for how disgusting we are.

And this is AFTER flu shots subsidized by our respective employers.

Today, I feel pretty good. I am coughing no more than once every half hour or so, and blowing my nose no more than every fifteen minutes. I don't get winded going up or down the stairs. I feel like, with sufficient over the counter drugs, I can function when I go back to work tomorrow.

SHE, on the other hand, is a coughing mess, worse than ever. We spent a couple of hours at the doctor today. Diagnosis: pneumonia. Here are some prescriptions. Go home, rest, get plenty of fluids and sleep.

And so, we head for Walgreens to fill the scrips. Where we encounter that most infuriating of drivers.

Y'see, I've driven in some strange places. Houston. Washington DC. LA. Seattle. I've driven everywhere short of an actual demolition derby, but there is ONE DRIVER, one sort of brain-damaged tail wagger that can drive me into a frothing frenzy faster than anything else on the road. In my lifetime, I have only encountered five of these (expletive deleted)s, but today made it six.

To explain: The driver starts off on a roadway or thoroughfare. Up ahead is a business, strip mall, or other enterprise, with a parking lot. The driver decides, "Gee, perhaps I should stop at that place of business up ahead, and do business there." They slow down, and turn into the parking lot.

AND HALFWAY INTO THE TURNOFF THEY STOP COLD. I couldn't tell you why. I have never seen this happen in a situation where a bleeding toddler lay in front of the car. Or anything ELSE in front of the car. There was parking aplenty. There didn't seem to be any obstacles or reason to stop, not in any of the six times I have seen this. The only rationale I can think of for stopping is the driver going, "Oh my GAWD, Henry, the POSSIBILITIES! Where will we PARK? Where will we have LUNCH? What shall we DO?"

And Henry responds, "A good question, Martha. Perhaps we should simply stop cold, right here in the entrance to the parking lot, and examine our options and make a well thought out decision, at the speed of Log Cabin maple syrup outdoors in a Canadian February, while utterly disregarding everyone and everything around us."

The problem with this issue being that I, too, would like to do business in this place, and your stopping means that my vehicle is now stopped cold in the middle of a street or thoroughfare. And there is traffic approaching. And you show no signs of seeing or understanding this, being lost in the maze of possibilities, the myriad parking spots and decisions before you!

So I do the only thing I CAN do. I lay on the horn.

And the people in front of me, on all six occasions, have jumped like scalded cats. My GHOD, Martha, there's SOMEONE BEHIND US!!! But each of six times now, they have moved, allowing me to get my car out of traffic and into the parking lot, where I face the decision of where to park somewhat more decisively than my predecessor. Although on one occasion back in 1997, an elderly man took me to task as I left my vehicle for my extreme rudeness in insisting on using the entrance to the parking lot while he was sitting in it. Out of respect for his gray hairs and apparent senility, I let him live.

Grrrr. Grouchy. Stay off my lawn!

 

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And now that I think about it, this is the same thing I was griping about when I was ranting about people at grocery stores, except it doesn't happen in TRAFFIC anywhere near as often.

What is it about me that makes people need to jump in front of me and stop cold? Do I look too intrepid? Do I look like someone who needs to be slowed down? What the hell?

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7 hours ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

I am grouchy.

Among the reasons for my grouchiness is that my home is a fetid pit of sickness. Has been pretty much most of December. My dear spouse and I have slouched around like twin avatars of Nurgle, the Two Horsemen Of The Apocalypse: Pestilence and Pestilential, coughing, gagging, sneezing, and leaking from various holes and orifices and apologizing to each other for how disgusting we are.

And this is AFTER flu shots subsidized by our respective employers.

Today, I feel pretty good. I am coughing no more than once every half hour or so, and blowing my nose no more than every fifteen minutes. I don't get winded going up or down the stairs. I feel like, with sufficient over the counter drugs, I can function when I go back to work tomorrow.

SHE, on the other hand, is a coughing mess, worse than ever. We spent a couple of hours at the doctor today. Diagnosis: pneumonia. Here are some prescriptions. Go home, rest, get plenty of fluids and sleep.

And so, we head for Walgreens to fill the scrips. Where we encounter that most infuriating of drivers.

Y'see, I've driven in some strange places. Houston. Washington DC. LA. Seattle. I've driven everywhere short of an actual demolition derby, but there is ONE DRIVER, one sort of brain-damaged tail wagger that can drive me into a frothing frenzy faster than anything else on the road. In my lifetime, I have only encountered five of these (expletive deleted)s, but today made it six.

To explain: The driver starts off on a roadway or thoroughfare. Up ahead is a business, strip mall, or other enterprise, with a parking lot. The driver decides, "Gee, perhaps I should stop at that place of business up ahead, and do business there." They slow down, and turn into the parking lot.

AND HALFWAY INTO THE TURNOFF THEY STOP COLD. I couldn't tell you why. I have never seen this happen in a situation where a bleeding toddler lay in front of the car. Or anything ELSE in front of the car. There was parking aplenty. There didn't seem to be any obstacles or reason to stop, not in any of the six times I have seen this. The only rationale I can think of for stopping is the driver going, "Oh my GAWD, Henry, the POSSIBILITIES! Where will we PARK? Where will we have LUNCH? What shall we DO?"

And Henry responds, "A good question, Martha. Perhaps we should simply stop cold, right here in the entrance to the parking lot, and examine our options and make a well thought out decision, at the speed of Log Cabin maple syrup outdoors in a Canadian February, while utterly disregarding everyone and everything around us."

The problem with this issue being that I, too, would like to do business in this place, and your stopping means that my vehicle is now stopped cold in the middle of a street or thoroughfare. And there is traffic approaching. And you show no signs of seeing or understanding this, being lost in the maze of possibilities, the myriad parking spots and decisions before you!

So I do the only thing I CAN do. I lay on the horn.

And the people in front of me, on all six occasions, have jumped like scalded cats. My GHOD, Martha, there's SOMEONE BEHIND US!!! But each of six times now, they have moved, allowing me to get my car out of traffic and into the parking lot, where I face the decision of where to park somewhat more decisively than my predecessor. Although on one occasion back in 1997, an elderly man took me to task as I left my vehicle for my extreme rudeness in insisting on using the entrance to the parking lot while he was sitting in it. Out of respect for his gray hairs and apparent senility, I let him live.

Grrrr. Grouchy. Stay off my lawn!

 

I can SO relate to this.

GEM

Who would be the second guy in the backup laying on the horn - it's what its there for.

7 hours ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

And now that I think about it, this is the same thing I was griping about when I was ranting about people at grocery stores, except it doesn't happen in TRAFFIC anywhere near as often.

What is it about me that makes people need to jump in front of me and stop cold? Do I look too intrepid? Do I look like someone who needs to be slowed down? What the hell?

Start keeping track of the phase of the moon when you seem to be experiencing an excessive number of people having a stupid attack.

There's a peak around the full moon, and a lesser peak at the new moon.

When I was driving professionally I always kept close track of the moon phase for this very reason.

GEM

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13 hours ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

And now that I think about it, this is the same thing I was griping about when I was ranting about people at grocery stores, except it doesn't happen in TRAFFIC anywhere near as often.

What is it about me that makes people need to jump in front of me and stop cold? Do I look too intrepid? Do I look like someone who needs to be slowed down? What the hell?

 

We all live in a simulation, or better yet a game where we all need to reach our destinations overcoming obstacles like the ones you mentioned.

 

I live in a small sub urban town in the Netherlands.

Our part of town was build in the old days when people had either no, or maybe one small car.

So parking is a nuisance to say the least.

 

Our house is in a corner, there is NO way through there and we park on our own ground in front of our house.

Then comes the street ( small) and we need to go around the corner to leave the block.

That street we have to drive through is just wide enough for one car.

 

Sometimes some elfhole who is visiting someone in the neighbourhood decides to park in that street!

Most of the time I spot these miscreants in time and convince them to park elsewhere or die, it works, but it is frustrating to me that grown up people can't see they're blocking an entire passageway.

However there are times a car just stands in our way and we have no idea who or where the driver is.

 

This pretty much sums up how I feel then.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9MGI2UNOLU

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I think idiotic, amazingly anti-social parking could fill a large thread all on it's own.

 

And as a parallel thread there have recently been a number of elf-holes practically assaulting ambulance crews who are attending life-threatening accidents, just because some fool has their driveway temporarily blocked.

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On 1/6/2019 at 4:08 PM, Dr.Bedlam said:

And now that I think about it, this is the same thing I was griping about when I was ranting about people at grocery stores, except it doesn't happen in TRAFFIC anywhere near as often.

What is it about me that makes people need to jump in front of me and stop cold? Do I look too intrepid? Do I look like someone who needs to be slowed down? What the hell?

 

 I'm thinking we totally need to arrange a flash mob at the next RCon of people to go stop in front of Doc - every time he tries to move, someone else will step up to block him until he's entirely penned in, lol. ::D:

 

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On 1/5/2019 at 1:55 PM, Dr.Bedlam said:


Today, I will rage, gripe, froth, and castigate Reaper because they won't sell me any of the old DOOM miniatures.

Come at me, bros.

 

You can buy all the DOOM minis in a set, right now, from Bethesda. It's $200, and it's still being manufactured by Reaper using the original molds.

 

I came at you, bro.

15 hours ago, paintybeard said:

I think idiotic, amazingly anti-social parking could fill a large thread all on it's own.

 

And as a parallel thread there have recently been a number of elf-holes practically assaulting ambulance crews who are attending life-threatening accidents, just because some fool has their driveway temporarily blocked.

 

That's nothing. A friend of mine who was in EMS for over 20 years had a coworker get stabbed a couple years ago because he administered narcan to an OD, and the OD's friend didn't take kindly to saving the OD's life. From what I understand, it's because people don't know what narcan is, and don't know how it works, so it's like black magic or something else that can only be bad. But it's not uncommon for EMS to be assaulted while trying to administer it.

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2 hours ago, Mad Jack said:

 

 I'm thinking we totally need to arrange a flash mob at the next RCon of people to go stop in front of Doc - every time he tries to move, someone else will step up to block him until he's entirely penned in, lol. ::D:

 

 

If you want me to finally snap, right there in public, that would certainly be the way to do it. You have been warned.

1 hour ago, Unruly said:

 

You can buy all the DOOM minis in a set, right now, from Bethesda. It's $200, and it's still being manufactured by Reaper using the original molds.

 

I came at you, bro.

 

And I thank you... Except they're out of stock. Grrrr!

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