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Dr.Bedlam

Cranky Old Man

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12 hours ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

Hell, even my CAT wanders in front of me and then stops cold. And then looks hurt when I accidentally kick him.

Is that the secret? Do I need to start kicking people?

 

I've noticed that most people in grocery stores (and everywhere else) are oblivious to those around them. They stop in the MIDDLE of the aisle or the street or the hallway to focus on their personal immediate wants with no thought to folks behind or around them trying to get by. (game cons are no exception) I spend a lot of time in stores saying "Excuse me, ladies" (why do people grocery shop in groups?) or waiting for the deaf ones to figure out what they want so I can get around them. Then when they notice me there's the startled face as if they did not expect anyone else to be in the store that day.  And then the apologies, because they know they were being a dumbass, but the brain does not multitask when trying to sort 14 different varieties of fruit cocktail, apparently. 

 

Anyway, my suggestion is to practice a cheerful "excuse me, ma'am" or "Pardon me" and use it frequently where possible. 

 

 

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15 minutes ago, Inarah said:

 

I've noticed that most people in grocery stores (and everywhere else) are oblivious to those around them. They stop in the MIDDLE of the aisle or the street or the hallway to focus on their personal immediate wants with no thought to folks behind or around them trying to get by. (game cons are no exception)

I've long noticed that a lot of people don't have any situational awareness about those around them.  My wife used to be one of them, but I've finally got her trained to think about it.  When our son was little, she was one of those moms would would stop right in the store's entry way to put her kid's coat on.  Took me months to break her of that, but once I did, she started to notice other people doing that sort of stuff, and would get annoyed. 

I once had a therapist imply that being aware of how you affect others in situations like that was a sign of low self esteem. 

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I always drill it into my family that you need to be aware of what's going on around you. A lot of people aren't and you can't depend on them to stop or behave logically. This works in driving and everywhere else. It ain't a matter of low self esteem, it's a matter of self preservation. If I suddenly stop or turn in front of someone else and get hit it's my fault. If I see someone coming at me and don't move out of the way and get hit it may not be technically my fault but I'll still suffer the consequences. Too many people only care about placing the blame. As long as they aren't at fault they don't care what happened. I'm more of the mind that it's better to avoid it happening in the first place rather than blaming someone after it's already done.

 

Used to drive me nuts when I was in university and driving on campus. Yes, pedestrians have the right of way. BUT you have to realise that a pick up truck moving 15k ph doesn't stop instantly on and icy street. So many people would just step right in front of me and it was lucky nobody got hit. Well except one guy I hung around with that was being an idiot. He jumped in front of me to scare me and got knocked on his broccoli. He was pretty mad but everybody that was there said it was 100% his fault for being stupid. In vehicle versus pedestrian situations the vehicle always wins no matter who was actually right.

 

I get newsletters from WebMD about various things. Most of the time I don't read them but sometimes do if it's a topic I'm interested in. One of the recnt ones was "Why do we get grouchier as we age?" Didn't actually read it but my first thought was, "Because life sucks and the older you get the more you realise that you can't do a lot about it." Yeah, seeing the crankiness getting stronger here. I used to be happy go lucky but too many years of other's stupidity bouncing off me is starting to get old. Got less of it now but it annoys me worse. It's bad enough dealing with my own stupidity and I work hard so that it doesn't affect others.

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1 minute ago, Zink said:

It ain't a matter of low self esteem, it's a matter of self preservation

And common courtesy.   I pretty much fired that therapist after that, and found another one. It pissed me off. I got to thinking, if low self esteem makes me behave courteously to others and made me work hard to get where I am then maybe what the world needs is more low self esteem, not less of it. 
 

14 minutes ago, Zink said:

One of the recent ones was "Why do we get grouchier as we age?"

My first thought is "Because we're less inclined to put up with other people's BS as we become more comfortable with ourselves." 

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In the Navy we call it "Situational Awareness".

 

Basically, if the idiot steering another ship suddenly turns towards me have I got room to get out of his way?

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2 hours ago, kristof65 said:

And common courtesy.   I pretty much fired that therapist after that, and found another one. It pissed me off. I got to thinking, if low self esteem makes me behave courteously to others and made me work hard to get where I am then maybe what the world needs is more low self esteem, not less of it.

Sounds like your therapist is one of those elfholes that believe that you have to see yourself in front of everything to be a "leader"  This was a popular management strategy a decade or 2 ago.  if you are the only thing that matters, then you don't mind stepping on everything around you to get what you want.  The problem is, once you achieve the short term goal, the usual long term result is loneliness

 

1 hour ago, paintybeard said:

In the Navy we call it "Situational Awareness".

 

Basically, if the idiot steering another ship suddenly turns towards me have I got room to get out of his way?

in the business world, not having the room is called a violent acquisition or, more politely, a merger ::P:

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47 minutes ago, Kangaroorex said:

Sounds like your therapist is one of those elfholes that believe that you have to see yourself in front of everything to be a "leader" 

Don't know his beliefs, but I found out later that he had several court ordered therapy patients that he apparently strung along, so I suspect that part of his motivation was to keep patients in therapy. 

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3 hours ago, paintybeard said:

In the Navy we call it "Situational Awareness".

 

Basically, if the idiot steering another ship suddenly turns towards me have I got room to get out of his way?

What do you mean, one quarter impulse right towards them isn't a valid strategy??? 

 

((for those who don't get that, it's a Stsr Trek reference, specifically Picard and his tendency to outright ram other ships.... 

Edited by WhiteWulfe
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I went to high school in the Seventies. In south Texas. That's where I took Driver's Ed.

In deep south Texas, in the Seventies, the schools did not have teachers. They had coaches. Seriously. The coaches taught all the classes, ran everything, and the senior coaches put ties on and were administrators. I'm not exaggerating by much. 

Driver's ed was not unlike boot camp, but in a car. We learned never to go more than ten miles an hour under any circumstances because sooner or later, the elfhole WOULD use that brake on the passenger side because it was just so damn funny to watch everyone tumble forward, ice over teakettle.

Despite this, I did learn Situational Awareness. You were ALWAYS aware of what was going on around you, both INSIDE and OUTSIDE the car. That's what the MIRRORS were for. And if you forgot, the coach would remind you. Loudly and sarcastically, implying you were too stupid to be aware of your mirrors. And it irked him to no end if you knew he was about to hit that dratted brake, and you braced yourself and didn't jerk forward when he did. If nothing else, I made him keep his foot on the brake every single second, so I couldn't see his foot move and therefore brace myself.

I learned to be aware of what was going on around me.

I'm guessing that nowadays, Driver's Ed is taught by dope smoking hippies who love you and think your clothes are nice. Because at the grocery store, nobody pays any attention. And that bothers me far less than the people who are in hell's own hurry to get in front of me, gotta get AHEAD of you, MUST GET IN FRONT OF YOU... and then their brains lock up and they stop cold. Who am I? What's my name? What IS this place? Food library?

People do this during my commute, too, but at least they don't generally slam on the brakes as soon as they get ahead of me. Occasionally, they WILL slow down, often well below the speed limit, since now that they're in front of me, they don't have to go eighty miles an hour any more. But usually, the lanes are clear enough that I can get out from behind them and pass. Grocery stores lack this option, as I can think of several in the vicinity where passing another shopping cart is durn near impossible; the aisles are too narrow. That's the bad thing about leaving Texas, where all the HEBs have aisles wide enough to land small aircraft in.

And no, I don't much care to tell the tale of my experience with mob psychology. Suffice it to say that I really don't care for situations where I'm being abused for the amusement of others. Particularly when said others then get offended because I don't see the humor in the situation ("Cancha take a friggin' JOKE?") There's jokes, and then there's jokes, and then there's the infliction of trauma.

The Doom Cat is a sleek black house panther, and regrettably, he apparently is one of those creatures that was destined to get by on his looks. Because he's not a smart cat. He is in fact, remarkably dumb. He'll be eight years old this Halloween, and in eight years of living with me, a running gag involves the ordering of pizza. When we don't wanna cook, a pizza is ordered, and eaten in bed.

Doom will jump up on the bed. He will smell the pizza. He will follow the odor to the box. He will climb up on the warm box. He will melt into a little kitty puddle, enjoying the warmth. And then he will remember the food smell, and try to open the pizza box to inspect the contents. And in eight years, he has yet to figure out that you can't open a pizza box while you are standing on it.

So yeah, he's famous for taking a position in room, floor, or stairwell, and flat not noticing the gigantic human creatures that walk noisily and comparitively slowly up to him... and then stop, because he's blocking the way. And in eight years, he still hasn't figured out that occasionally, the man creatures will nudge him, or worse, step on him, an event that causes great howling and indignation on the rare occasions that it happens.

Maybe I need to step on people in the grocery store.

Then again, my cat has no lawyer.

Grouchy.

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On 1/11/2019 at 7:35 PM, Dr.Bedlam said:

I went to high school in the Seventies. In south Texas. That's where I took Driver's Ed.

In deep south Texas, in the Seventies, the schools did not have teachers. They had coaches. Seriously. The coaches taught all the classes, ran everything, and the senior coaches put ties on and were administrators. I'm not exaggerating by much. 

Driver's ed was not unlike boot camp, but in a car. We learned never to go more than ten miles an hour under any circumstances because sooner or later, the elfhole WOULD use that brake on the passenger side because it was just so damn funny to watch everyone tumble forward, ice over teakettle.

Despite this, I did learn Situational Awareness. You were ALWAYS aware of what was going on around you, both INSIDE and OUTSIDE the car. That's what the MIRRORS were for. And if you forgot, the coach would remind you. Loudly and sarcastically, implying you were too stupid to be aware of your mirrors. And it irked him to no end if you knew he was about to hit that dratted brake, and you braced yourself and didn't jerk forward when he did. If nothing else, I made him keep his foot on the brake every single second, so I couldn't see his foot move and therefore brace myself.

I learned to be aware of what was going on around me.

I'm guessing that nowadays, Driver's Ed is taught by dope smoking hippies who love you and think your clothes are nice. Because at the grocery store, nobody pays any attention. And that bothers me far less than the people who are in hell's own hurry to get in front of me, gotta get AHEAD of you, MUST GET IN FRONT OF YOU... and then their brains lock up and they stop cold. Who am I? What's my name? What IS this place? Food library?

People do this during my commute, too, but at least they don't generally slam on the brakes as soon as they get ahead of me. Occasionally, they WILL slow down, often well below the speed limit, since now that they're in front of me, they don't have to go eighty miles an hour any more. But usually, the lanes are clear enough that I can get out from behind them and pass. Grocery stores lack this option, as I can think of several in the vicinity where passing another shopping cart is durn near impossible; the aisles are too narrow. That's the bad thing about leaving Texas, where all the HEBs have aisles wide enough to land small aircraft in.

And no, I don't much care to tell the tale of my experience with mob psychology. Suffice it to say that I really don't care for situations where I'm being abused for the amusement of others. Particularly when said others then get offended because I don't see the humor in the situation ("Cancha take a friggin' JOKE?") There's jokes, and then there's jokes, and then there's the infliction of trauma.

The Doom Cat is a sleek black house panther, and regrettably, he apparently is one of those creatures that was destined to get by on his looks. Because he's not a smart cat. He is in fact, remarkably dumb. He'll be eight years old this Halloween, and in eight years of living with me, a running gag involves the ordering of pizza. When we don't wanna cook, a pizza is ordered, and eaten in bed.

Doom will jump up on the bed. He will smell the pizza. He will follow the odor to the box. He will climb up on the warm box. He will melt into a little kitty puddle, enjoying the warmth. And then he will remember the food smell, and try to open the pizza box to inspect the contents. And in eight years, he has yet to figure out that you can't open a pizza box while you are standing on it.

So yeah, he's famous for taking a position in room, floor, or stairwell, and flat not noticing the gigantic human creatures that walk noisily and comparitively slowly up to him... and then stop, because he's blocking the way. And in eight years, he still hasn't figured out that occasionally, the man creatures will nudge him, or worse, step on him, an event that causes great howling and indignation on the rare occasions that it happens.

Maybe I need to step on people in the grocery store.

Then again, my cat has no lawyer.

Grouchy.

I've adopted a strategy for grocery stores that works well most of the time.

When I come upon an aisle blockage I will start a mental slow count to 5, more if it's a parent dealing with too many small children.  When I get to the end of my count I will state in a slightly louder than conversational level   "Could we please leave a space clear so others can get past?"

The response is usually a startled look quickly followed by an obvious increase in situational awareness resulting in an aisleway being made available.  I will politely thank the former obstructions and proceed on my way.

Since I've started doing this, about 6 months ago, there seems to be less unconscious aisle blocking every place except Costco, which is a place I try to avoid on any account during the busier hours of the day.

We live in an age where people are increasingly self absorbed and, has been mentioned above, situational awareness is at a low ebb.  I attribute a large portion of this  to the complete focus of attention on smartphones instead of paying attention to the world around them.  People are so used to having others keeping them from running into the worlds sharp edges that they seem oblivious to the possibility of  that world treating them in the fashion in which it has routinely dealt with our ancestors.  Short of carrying a slap-stick and using it with a liberal hnd I don't know how to raise the general level of situational awareness and therefore self preservation.

GEM

Edited by Green Eyed Monster
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Ugh. Yesterday morning I left the house in a hurry because I realized it was already 8am and I wanted to beat all the people to the store. But still, the winco parking lot was full, and there always seemed to be an idiot in front of me going extremely slow. Or someone who had to pick out the perfect box of sliced mushrooms from all the other boxes. There's always one ribbish mushroom! Just take them and go! 

 

I submit for your enjoyment: John Pinette "get out of line!"

 

https://youtu.be/GUlf1F05gTA

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I have to work.

And then when I'm done I sometimes need to do an errand or get some groceries.

 

Why are there always people in line who are obviously retired/unemployed/on vacation at exactly the time when working people come in?

Why don't these people do their groceries during the day while I'm at work?

Are they napping the whole day?

Get out of my line!!!

*** Grumble***

 

Okay...that might be a bit over the top, but sometimes I wonder...

 

 

 

 

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15 hours ago, Glitterwolf said:

I have to work.

And then when I'm done I sometimes need to do an errand or get some groceries.

 

Why are there always people in line who are obviously retired/unemployed/on vacation at exactly the time when working people come in?

Why don't these people do their groceries during the day while I'm at work?

Are they napping the whole day?

Get out of my line!!!

*** Grumble***

 

Okay...that might be a bit over the top, but sometimes I wonder...

 

 

 

 

Of course!

It provides massive entertainment to interfere with the expeditious movement of those who are already over-stressed from a too full work calendar.

There's nothing on TV that interesting in the middle of the afternoon so it is the perfect time for a nap to top off the energy reserves prior to the arduous trek to the local market or souk, where it is then possible to wander around in perfect imitation of an oblivious daze while surreptitiously observing the effect upon harried shoppers with too much to do and too little time to do it.

GEM

Whose actually retired, and has mobility issues,  but fervently wishes that all of those "old people" would either move faster or learn how not to block an entire aisle.

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5 hours ago, Green Eyed Monster said:

Of course!

It provides massive entertainment to interfere with the expeditious movement of those who are already over-stressed from a too full work calendar.

There's nothing on TV that interesting in the middle of the afternoon so it is the perfect time for a nap to top off the energy reserves prior to the arduous trek to the local market or souk, where it is then possible to wander around in perfect imitation of an oblivious daze while surreptitiously observing the effect upon harried shoppers with too much to do and too little time to do it.

GEM

Whose actually retired, and has mobility issues,  but fervently wishes that all of those "old people" would either move faster or learn how not to block an entire aisle.

 

I KNEW IT! ::P:

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Isn't the whole point of retirement so that you can finally take naps during the day?

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