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Froggy the Great

Randomness XV: 'tis a silly place.

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26 minutes ago, kristof65 said:

My wife just texted me - "I need you to bring that black dress you bought me."   Makes sense - until I went into her closet and found 5 black dresses I had purchased for her over the years.   I don't think she is thinking of the same black dresses I bought her...

On a semi-related note, anyone have any idea what the social norm/general etiquette is for ex-spouses attending the funeral of their ex?  My in laws have been divorced for several decades, my wife's brother wants their mom to attend their father's funeral. My wife is currently estranged from her mom, and doesn't want her there. I don't think my MiL will come anyway - she and my FiL didn't get along at all after their divorce, but my BiL thinks if my wife asks her, she'll come "for her kids". 

I'm wondering if there is a tactful way to give my wife an out. 

 

We had a similar situation last year with my dad's funeral. My brother hadn't talked to me for 5 years because my parents sold me the biggest part of the farm cheap. He got mad at my mom a few years later when she explained to him why and quit talking to her. We decided to invite him to all the planning sessions because like it or not he was family. He didn't show up except for one meeting where he just sat there ignoring us unless directly asked a question. At the funeral he didn't talk to any of the immediate family just various acquaintances.

 

Added on to that I have cousins that sued my dad for 10 years over an estate that invoved their dad. Tons of bad blood there and we don't asociate at all. At the funeral they and their families took up the larger part of the reserved seating for family. Some of the people we are still close to had to sit at the back of the hall. We kept our mouths shut and just got through it. Some others were pretty pissed off about it but no fights.

 

So no good advice but understand what you and you're wife are going through. Ain't family great?

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1 hour ago, NomadZeke said:

Unrelated - one coffee maker at work is broken, that means we're on the verge of turning into the Thunderdome. Also, it's someone's birthday, which means there's far more donuts and cupcakes/desserts than we should have here.

I hope you have pitchforks and torches handy. Speaking of which u need to restock on the pitchforks.

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3 hours ago, TheAuldGrump said:

Hmmm... this morning Megan handed me a sealed envelope - as in 'Sealed with Wax' - and told me that my character in her game is getting it - it is from the Embassy of Karrnath.... :unsure:

 

Considering that we just dealt with a number of members of the Blood of Vol... I am suspicious.

 

And considering that Megan looked amazingly pleased with herself... I am very suspicious.... :lol:

 

I thought that I recognized the expression of a woman with a plan!

 

The Auld Grump - being a GM is definitely agreeing with her.

Oh, yes..................that. :devil:

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16 hours ago, paintybeard said:

 

Yes, nearly all the holidays the wife and I take are wild-life watching based.

The world total of bird species is over 10,000. So I have a little way to go.

The real difficulty is that, thanks to DNA-typing, LOTS of species have been renamed, reclassified and so on. The Blacksmiths Plover I saw 10 years ago is now A Blacksmith Lapwing. All very confusing and hard to keep track of.

 

 Still, at least I'm not some sort of sad person like anorak-wearing Train Spotters are.

 

I haven't counted recently but I think I'm at around 700 for North America.  If you add the rest of the World I'm around 1000.

 

I've been thinking about seeing if anyone wants to get up early on Thursday of ReaperCon and go out dawn birding before the Con begins this year. I know @Corporea also bird watches.

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5 minutes ago, TaleSpinner said:

I've been thinking about seeing if anyone wants to get up early on Thursday of ReaperCon and go out dawn birding before the Con begins this year. I know @Corporea also bird watches.

 

I would be interested but I don't know if I'm allowed to get up that early.

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8 hours ago, Glitterwolf said:

Son and me had such a falling out that we're no longer speaking.

He needs to sort out his business.

Won't go into detail now, I'm tired of it all. Just told the whole story to a forumite in PM, who has been helping me with this.

 

Once again I find this forum the best, full of helpful and wonderful people.

 

I will now focus on my own family and try to let things slide.

Hoping I can cope with the stress and hurt.

 

I'm taking my girl out to dinner tonight.

This is my world and I will not step into the other anymore.

 

Sorry for the rant.

 

 

 

 

Part of why we're here.

If you couldn't unburden yourself of some of the pain this situation is causing, what sort of friends would we be?

Treasure the family that you have.  If your son won't be part of that family then he has chosen to walk his path of life alone.

I know that you will keep a place for him, in your heart if nowhere else is possible.

Know that some of us feel your pain deeply and we grieve for your loss right along side you.

GEM

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1 hour ago, kristof65 said:

My wife just texted me - "I need you to bring that black dress you bought me."   Makes sense - until I went into her closet and found 5 black dresses I had purchased for her over the years.   I don't think she is thinking of the same black dresses I bought her...

On a semi-related note, anyone have any idea what the social norm/general etiquette is for ex-spouses attending the funeral of their ex?  My in laws have been divorced for several decades, my wife's brother wants their mom to attend their father's funeral. My wife is currently estranged from her mom, and doesn't want her there. I don't think my MiL will come anyway - she and my FiL didn't get along at all after their divorce, but my BiL thinks if my wife asks her, she'll come "for her kids". 

I'm wondering if there is a tactful way to give my wife an out. 

If it were me I'd bring ALL the black dresses and let her choose.

 

On the semi-related note, such situations are always uncomfortable.  In my experience the way it usually sorts out is for each  "faction" to ignore the other one to the greatest extent possible.

As for an out, short of a medical emergency, no help here.

Good Luck

GEM

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2 hours ago, NomadZeke said:

Woooh. 60 yesterday, 20 with a 5 wind chill today. Gotta love ohio.

 

North-central WV and I'm in the same boat. All week it's been warm and mildly wet with light rain, and I was walking around without a jacket on because it was so nice out. Today, it's 33 with a 10 wind chill, and I'm digging out my thermals again.

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11 hours ago, Unruly said:

 

It's should be technically possible. Every car would have to have an independent brake system that was rigged to a central control. So you press the button and in the millisecond that it takes to transmit the signal down the train, all the brakes activate. You know, like an electronic lock system in a prison. My guess is that it's just not feasible for various reasons such as size and cost, or they've decided that the cost-benefit ratio isn't worth the changes because the existing stuff works well enough.

It is technically possible but would require such a costly changeover period that it isn't economically feasible.

The WABCO [Westinghouse Air Brake Company] system currently in use is the improved version of the system that George Westinghouse first patented in the 1860s and was adopted by the US  railroads starting in the 1870s.  Heavy trucks use a similar system to that used by the railroads.

There are more considerations than just the propagation time  for air pressure in the line.  You also  have to take into consideration the coupling slack between each car and how that slack runs in and out depending on whether the train is running on the flat or on an upgrade or downgrade or some combination of all three.  To a lesser extent the way the cars are loaded and positioned within the train can also be a factor. It takes training and experience to use a railroad air brake system so that it not only keeps a train at a controlled speed but also to not damage equipment.  "Pulling a drawhead" is something no railroader ever wants to have to deal with, if the subsequent investigation determines that it was the fault of the engineer and not equipment failure it can result in suspension or firing.

GEM

Edited by Green Eyed Monster
typo monster struck again
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44 minutes ago, buglips*the*goblin said:

 

I would be interested but I don't know if I'm allowed to get up that early.

I know I'm not allowed to get up that early.

"Dawn Patrol" is closer to a really late night than "get up early" for me.

And then I'm only operating at about 60% for the rest of the day.

Being a congenital night owl has its downsides. ::(:

GEM

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55 minutes ago, buglips*the*goblin said:

 

I would be interested but I don't know if I'm allowed to get up that early.

You don't have to be awake.....bait works just as well sleeping.

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33 minutes ago, Zink said:

So no good advice but understand what you and you're wife are going through. Ain't family great?

Appreciate the understanding. Your situation sucks worse though. 

I'm betting my MiL won't show up no matter who begs, so no awkwardness there.  She's so self centered that she made barely any effort to see her grandkids at all while we lived in CO, then got mad at me and my wife for "taking two of her grandkids away" when we moved to IA, which is part of the reason my wife isn't speaking to her right now. Right before we moved, she asked if she could take the kids for spring break, since we were moving. We said sure, "but you have to come pick them up, because we're packing up our trailer and cleaning the house that week."  She got mad that we wouldn't make a 9 hour round trip twice during one of the busiest weeks of our lives.   Then we suggested that maybe they could fly there, but she'd have to pay for it, since all our money was tied up in the move - she got mad about that, too.  And then she had the audacity to tell us we kept her from seeing her grandkids a few months ago. 

That's not the first time she's done something like that, but I've started ranting, and I'm digressing from my original thing I wanted to say. 

Anyway, I'm mostly worried that this will cause hard feelings between my wife and her brother. She's closest to him, but he has this blind spot when it comes to understanding how toxic their mom has become to my wife, and his blind spot seems to have gotten bigger in the last couple days as he copes with the loss of a parent. 

 

31 minutes ago, Green Eyed Monster said:

If it were me I'd bring ALL the black dresses and let her choose.

 

That's EXACTLY what I'm doing. 

Well, except for the two short sexy ones that REALLY show off her legs.  It will be too cold for those. 

What? Whaddya mean it would also be inappropriate? I have no idea what you're talking about...:devil:


Just got word that the funeral is on Valentine's Day.  I guess my romantic gestures for this Valentine's day are going to be less about romance and more about being as supportive of a spouse as I can be. 

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2 minutes ago, kristof65 said:

Appreciate the understanding. Your situation sucks worse though. 

I'm betting my MiL won't show up no matter who begs, so no awkwardness there.  She's so self centered that she made barely any effort to see her grandkids at all while we lived in CO, then got mad at me and my wife for "taking two of her grandkids away" when we moved to IA, which is part of the reason my wife isn't speaking to her right now. Right before we moved, she asked if she could take the kids for spring break, since we were moving. We said sure, "but you have to come pick them up, because we're packing up our trailer and cleaning the house that week."  She got mad that we wouldn't make a 9 hour round trip twice during one of the busiest weeks of our lives.   Then we suggested that maybe they could fly there, but she'd have to pay for it, since all our money was tied up in the move - she got mad about that, too.  And then she had the audacity to tell us we kept her from seeing her grandkids a few months ago. 

That's not the first time she's done something like that, but I've started ranting, and I'm digressing from my original thing I wanted to say. 

Anyway, I'm mostly worried that this will cause hard feelings between my wife and her brother. She's closest to him, but he has this blind spot when it comes to understanding how toxic their mom has become to my wife, and his blind spot seems to have gotten bigger in the last couple days as he copes with the loss of a parent. 

 

That's EXACTLY what I'm doing. 

Well, except for the two short sexy ones that REALLY show off her legs.  It will be too cold for those. 

What? Whaddya mean it would also be inappropriate? I have no idea what you're talking about...:devil:


Just got word that the funeral is on Valentine's Day.  I guess my romantic gestures for this Valentine's day are going to be less about romance and more about being as supportive of a spouse as I can be. 

Black Roses for the Funeral and then Red Roses for the wife for Valentines Day.

GEM

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11 minutes ago, Green Eyed Monster said:

Black Roses for the Funeral and then Red Roses for the wife for Valentines Day.

GEM

Very good suggestion!

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Whoooo, my Reaper package is in!

 

And also a telescope company I like has a cute, and aptly named telescope on Kickstarter atm...  Such a pity I can't afford the almost $900 CAD it would be...  Since I could get it with a M43/MFT adapter (micro four thirds), which would be a godsend.  It would also be red, and matches their usual red anodizing, AND would match their custom mount they made for the Star Guider Pro, AND kinda matches the red the SGP has too.....

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