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Everything posted by Bill_Adcock

  1. I searched around until I found the blandest, most odorless deodorant ever. Old Spice makes me feel queasy.
  2. My gf likes my jaw clean and hair no longer than to my earlobes. Everything else is fine.
  3. How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill, I just finished it and it's pretty good. Nonfiction, light and easy (although when you're trying to balance it with the required reading for anthropology...) and some interesting ideas.
  4. I'd like to see some off-duty orcs - eating, drinking, playing dice, sleeping...wenching... And an orc mother with a orc pup carrying a stuffed animal crudely made from a real animal's pelt.
  5. Now, you KNOW I'm going to have to share that with the group on Friday.
  6. I saw a really big one today that was fang-deep in a housefly.
  7. That was my creepy stalker girl. And I'm sure some of it is cultural conditioning, but for the most part I don't find girls with unshaven legs unattractive. If my girlfriend is lazy and doesn't get up the motivation to shave her legs for a few days, that's fine by me. But this girl had really long, curly hairs growing out of her legs, and it would all by poking up out the tops of her socks. This girl had ape legs. And I found that to be unpleasant.
  8. This girl stopped calling after the first two or three threatening messages. And I actually have a very effective restraining order in place - My girlfriend finally pulled creepy stalker girl aside and told her, "You don't talk about Bill, got it? He's not your boyfriend, he wants nothing to do with you, he is my boyfriend and I will not stand by while you slander us by saying he's yours. Got it?" My girlfriend may be short, cute and cuddly on the outside, but underneath that is muscle and an attitude that says "You think you can beat me? Go ahead, try me." Oh my god, I just realized I'm dating a dwarven Shieldmaiden.
  9. I love Comedity. The characters of Garth and Karen are so similar to myself and my girlfriend Christine, it's almost eerie.
  10. I've ever only really dated one girl, I'm still with her, going on nine months now and I couldn't be happier. However. A couple months previous this girl spontaneously asked me if I wanted to go out with her. She seemed nice enough so I said sure. That night, my phone rings. She had somehow found my number (I hadn't given it to her) and wanted to just talk. She did not shut up until I told her I had to go, that it was dinner time. The next night, the same thing. This time she even played the piano for me over the phone and kept saying how I was her prince. Now she's starting to scare me and giving off creepy stalker vibes. I notice at this point that she does not clean her fingernails, nor does she shave her legs or underarms. Gross. The night after that when she called I told her I really didn't want anything to do with her, trying to let her down as easy as possible. She flips, has her 13-year old friend call me and say how I was making a big mistake, and she, the 13-year old, knows everything there is to know about relationships because she was in one with a 16 year old boy for six months. After that the creepy stalker girl left some threatening messages on our answering machine... After that, she just started telling people that she and I are dating. And she continuously updates it, so according to her she and I just celebrated our 1-year. My girlfriend actually pulled her aside and told her to knock it off, but this girl is dense as a brick and while all her friends believe it, she's actually trying to convince my girlfriend that I'm dating her instead Yeaahhhh...life is fun with a creepy stalker girl. I've also gotten the let's just be friends speech many times, almost as many times as I've heard, "Bill, you're such a nice guy, I wish I could find a guy just like you to date." To the point where I just stopped trying until creepy stalker girl, and then I swore off women until my girlfriend showed an interest in me. We'd talked a lot prior to me asking her out so I knew how closely her tastes and favorites meshed with mine.
  11. In my (ultra-ranting) Livejournal I posted a picture of the Weekly World News' Bat-Boy in reference to her expelling her mutant little womb-goblin. I'm counting the days until they divorce and make the child a pawn as they try and paint the other as incompetant, stupid, worthless and a bad parent. In a way, I feel sorry for the mutant little womb-goblin.
  12. Yeah, mine's going on my back so it's not going to be seen by too many people.
  13. I've joined a D&D group in my dorm building. We're actually a much larger party than usual, being (originally) a human sorceror, a gnome artificer, a human druid (that's me!), a half-orc barbarian and a half-elf ultrakung-fu monk. Last session we picked up a human fighter and an elf thief. We are now a seven-member party, plus the DM and the half-orc barbarian's girlfriend, who keeps track of initiative for us. That's 9 people. We no longer fit in a dorm room, we have to comandeer a study lounge. Originally, the gnome was the main source of irritation for the party. My druid actually went up to the half-orc barbarian and said, "you know, as a druid I can make jerky out of *anything*. How does gnome jerky sound to you?" even though, as Lawful Neutral, this was totally out of character. But now the human fighter is our chief annoyance. We rescued his butt from orcish jail, and then he asks why he should trust us. Then he turned around and tried to take over command of the party. Gnomes I could eat, but a human druid making jerky out of a human fighter...then it's cannibalism and I'm not cool with that. Our half-orc barbarian, LOGARTH THE CONQUERER!! as his name is listed on his character sheet, is comic relief and mindless destruction. Not mindless; he has an Intelligence score of 11. However, he's played with this goofy Incredible Hulk voice and whenever something bad happens, his reaction causes laughter. Case in point: We're escaping from hundreds of orcs in a horse-drawn wagon, down a muddy path in sheeting rain. I'm driving because my druid is the only one with Handle Animal. I fail a check by 1, briefly lose control of the cart, and everyone has to make a reflex save. Logarth and I are the only ones who fail. I'm thrown from my seat to the back of the cart; Logarth is thrown completely out of the cart. Making another reflex roll, he manages to catch the edge of the cart with one hand. "LOGARTH WANT HIS MOMMY!!" he bellows. The half-elf monk pulls him back into the cart, but as he's doing so a goblin mounted on a warg rides up and shoots Logarth in the butt with an arrow. And who is the only one with Cure Light Wounds memorized? The druid, of course. So Logarth is laying in the back of the cart, curled into a ball and whimpering, while I try and find a safe place to spend the night. THEN I have to pull the arrow out of his butt and cure him. Which, according to the DM, involves placing my hands on the afflicted area. So now, because Logarth's voice is so funny, we all imitate it every chance we get, especially when Chris (who plays Logarth) does something. Chris: "Aw, crud, I spilled my drink on myself." Everyone else: "LOGARTH SPILL JUICE ON SELF! NOW WHAT LOGARTH TO DO???" Chris: "I'll be right back, I just have to run to the bathroom real quick." Everyone else: "LOGARTH HAVE TO GO POTTY!!!!!" (Chris's girlfriend Kate has wrapped herself around him and whispers something in his ear.) Willie (who plays the sorceror): Logarth, what do you have in your backpack?" Chris: "UH...KITTY?" Willie: "Logarth, what did we say about pets?" Chris: "LOGARTH NO CAN HAVE PETS. BUT LOGARTH WANT KITTY!!" Willie: "Maybe you can have a kitty after we find the women and children the orcs kidnapped." Chris: "OKAYYY..." And we roll well on the stupidest things, and poorly other times. Logarth, after bluffing his way into a goblin camp by pretending to be a full-blooded orc, rolls to shove a goblin out of his way contemptuously. He rolls a 20 and the DM says, "you know what...the goblin bursts like an water balloon filled with strawberry jam." And then we he rolls to attack an orc who's drunk itself into semi-consciousness, he rolls really badly and his double-handed battle axe bounces off the orc's primitive leather armor. I roll a 17 to hit a 4-foot long spider with my sling and kill it easily. I roll to attack a goblin, miss with my sickle and get clocked in the face with the goblin's crude wooden club. Who else has this sort of craziness go on in their D&D games?
  14. Like I said, I asked a good friend of mine to actually create the image for me. You can see some more of her stuff here. After that, all that's left is to take the image to the tattoo parlor and get a price estimate, right? Oh, and, of course, getting in the chair and having it done...
  15. Here's what I've decided on: A barbarian warrior with black hair, horned helmet, etc., basically looking just like Conan with the addition of a sleeveless chainmail shirt, splattered from head to toe in the blood of his foes, embracing a valkyrie-like woman with long black hair, she stands a foot shorter than him, in a knee-length chainmail shirt, winged helmet, similar bloodsoaked. His huge, gore-encrusted battle axe has been thrown to the ground beside him and the look on his face shows how happy he is to be able to hold her in his arms once more, while her visage shows how happy she is to be held by him again. Below this image, in either Futhark or Futhorc runes, I haven't decided yet (On one hand, Futhark looks better, but Futhorc has letters that Futhark doesn't so I wouldn't have to fudge spellings), is Belit's quote from Queen of the Black Coast along the lines of "Not even the gods can sever us. Were I dead and you fighting for your life I would come back to fight by your side" or words to that effect. I've always known that if I ever got a tattoo it would be of something that has a tremendous amount of meaning to me. I'm not going to be like those bleach-blonde girls in high school who practically have to drop trou to show their butterflies to each other. This means something to me. The art and the quote both do an excellent job of depicting just how much my girlfriend means to me, how much I love her (This girl is THE ONE for me. There is no doubt about that.), as well as my respect for Robert E. Howard and love of his prose. And third, I commissioned one of my best friends in the world, who is a fantastic artist, to design the image for me (I gave her a more detailed description of how I wanted it to look and asked that it not be colored, that it be left black and white linework with red ink used for the blood) and my artist friend loves REH's work and I recently turned her on to Edgar Rice Burroughs, so if I ever get a tat after this I may have her draw me a Barsoomian. Though her style differs, in terms of energy and emotion I'd rank her work on par with Ken Kelly and Joe Jusko, just below Frank Frazetta. If I had to have anyone's art in my skin, I'd want it to be hers. It's going either centerline on my back or else centered on my left shoulderblade.
  16. I've actually come to a (sort of) decision: The words "Love, Honor, Courage, Freedom -- Let No Man Live Without These" translated into Nordic Runes across my upper back. Below this, either an appropriate barbarian or else a Thor's Hammer like this.
  17. Pict - I'm mostly Scottish/Irish/Welsh, but I have a fair amount of mediterranean blood in me as well.
  18. They are...I'd be afraid of what would happen if Sparky were to get ahold of a 2-liter of Mountain Dew...but they're all pretty cool people.
  19. No, and I'm already planning on converting and painting figures to represent the PCs in the D&D group I'm in...That'll be their yule gifts. buying the DM an orc war party, reminiscient of the one that ambushed us in our first session, should earn me a few extra XP, right? The fact that a gnome with a crossbow was just recently released, and one of the PCs is a gnome with a crossbow, I'm quite happy. I just have to put a pointy hat on him. For my character Vidor, the Northern Warrior, gets converted into a druid.
  20. Awesome as always, Lionmane. My gf is thinking about getting an itty-bitty music note somewhere on her body, because she loves music, she's a singer and a dancer...I've considered getting one, and I have a coupon for a tattoo parlor up the street from the college...but I haven't settled on an image yet. I want it to be something that has great meaning to me. Some things I've considered: Quetzalcoatl (god of wisdom, and I intend to become a teacher someday) a DNA molecule (my passion for biology) A bit of illumination from the Book of Kells (my Irish heritage) And, of course, barbarians. Thor and Odin were both considered, as was Frazetta's Jaguar God.
  21. A dwarven bard, with a tankard of ale in one hand and a drumstick in the other, with the drum hanging from a strap over his shoulder, bellowing out drinking songs at the top of his little dwarven lungs.
  22. The worm is the only thing there that I really think I crave.
  23. Sticks creeped me out, and few Mythos stories do that.
  24. I fail my Will Save and soil myself upon gazing at the monster's visage.
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