CaptainPete

" Think Nightmare on Elm Street 3 meets bikini wrestling."

"Maids of Iron and Bone sounds awesome and you know it. "

Moral of the story: Never mess with a redhead. Even if she looks cute as hell.

I find myself in need of elf pictures for....research purposes...

tl:dr The entire party died a horrible, burning death, except the Dwarf, who only survived by being a bumbling, drunken idiot.

"Girls with Shotguns. For, hm, let's go with Character Art reasons."

Bah Humbug!

I honestly should have expected a campaign like this when, on the first session, the group accidentally caused a goblin orgy.

Japan has a 'thing' for little girls in skimpy clothing. Its the creepy fedora wearing art student of the world. The one with the acne and the sad belief in his own intellectual superiority.

"punching him in the nose and threatening to tell everyone he got beat up by a girl unless he says that stupid prophecy."

"Just tell her Boris Ivanovich snores."

"Move to questsnear they said. Booming market they said. Nobody ever mentions the market's booming because some bloody lunatic blew it up!"

WANTED: Lonely Dark Lord of Evil looking for young, beautiful, adventurous girl. Must enjoy long walks by the swamp, genetically mutated puppies with lasers, and candlelight interragations/torture. Must not have ex-boyfriends that are trying to get them back from me.

Some day, I will learn to light people on fire with my mind. Sadly, that day is not today.

Today's lesson: Just because you are unique does not mean you are useful. But, I'm sure your mother loves you anyway.

The voices tell me thinks. Sadly, they speak in Russian so I have to guess at what they're trying to tell me.

Wanted beer or whiskey, ended up with ice cream. I don't know how that happened but my wallet is happier.

GET OFF MY LAWN!

Clearly, I should have nothing else to do today but post on the forums...