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Lord of the Dish Pit

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Everything posted by Lord of the Dish Pit

  1. Having cornered and subdued my painting motivation this morning, some progress has been made... Shadowed Steel/Honed Steel/Cursed Gold on the armor and weapons. Clothing shreds are based in Shadowed Stone, and here have a 50/50 mix with Stone Grey already. I'll be trying to take it up all the way to white if I can. Same warm greys as Vlad and Isabella's clothes to tie the in further, and renicient of tattered grave shrouds. Sword is Gunmetal Blue and Cursed Gold. I don't use the Gunmetal Blue very often, mostly because unlike steel colored metallics I don't have any lighter shades to layer it with and my mixing attempts haven't gone well with it. But it is a wonderful color for bringing the "ancient blade ripped out of a forgotten tomb" vibe, which is appropriate for a vampire general. Isabelle's dagger is done to match Vlad's sword, and Stormy Grey added to the lining of her dress. I still need to finish putting down black on the gemstones and finish putting the Cursed Gold on her hair bat and chalice.
  2. Nice slow brooding going on there, good stuff. Hopefully I can get the Graveguard finished off in the next week or so, and get this back on the table, maybe even get the project finished before 2021. (although I am still trying to figure out how to incorperate Murder Hornets and Zombie Cicadas into the scene, plus whatever else gets added in this year)
  3. You're on the right track if your instinctual reaction to seeing that phrase is feeling uncomfortable and suspicious. That means your sense of self preservation is still intact, the unicorns haven't gotten to you yet....you might not know what exactly the threat is, but you know it is there...
  4. Not content with defiling the Lucky Charms with their noxious presence, the beasts have their eye set upon the corruption and degradation of Hot Chocolate, a beverage gifted to us by the Great Pumpkin. Their relentless weaponization of marshmallows. Their unending attempts to colonize every area of life until the day comes when all possible products shall feature their abonimable forms gazing down upon us with vicious mockery. Worst of all is the insistence on the part of the general public of viewing these foul things as being somehow benevolent! Years of PR campaigns, and endless propaganda have resulted in humanity now reaching the point where they seem completely unable to recognize the threat looming over our world.... Unicorns are among the greatest evils that beset the multiverse, not a single world they have invaded is now anything more than a barren rock, bereft of even the smallest trace of life when they are done with it. The 40k lore of Tyrannids is an accurate depiction of what they do, but even there the unicorn lobbiests forced GW to use xenomorphs as inspiration for the minis, rather than show the true form of the Menace.... Did you seriously believe you were ever anything more than a tool for the beasts? They've replaced you with someone who is willing to work cheaper and probably with fewer moral scruples. It is something they are encouraging the weaker willed to chant in order to further weaken the barrier keeping them from fully entering our world.
  5. I finally found where my painting motivation had been hiding, and managed to beat it into submission and carry it off a few hours ago. Of course, having me actually get some painting done seemed to cause the Powers That Be distress, so events and circumstances came together in such a way that my painting time was interrupted by having to go outside in my slippers with a hand ax and chop a tree down. Long story short, it was a fairly immature tree, but it was getting entangled with the power lines leading to the house. I was planning on getting around to it in a more leisurely manner, but things didn't work out that way. (and the city workers have a new entry in my Book of Grudges) Now I have to try and track down where the painting motivation has run off to while all of that was going on...
  6. Not currently. Unless the Fat Little Birds and other assorted critters that have laid claim to the porch feeders qualify. Wouldn't mind getting a cat, and continuing my research in understanding the feline mind, but that's being held off until I can finish remodeling the bathroom, as otherwise I'd be having to deal with an over curious cat getting itself trapped under the house.
  7. When I was in high school I worked at Jewel-Osco as a bagger for about a year. The way I kept my sanity was by working out a scheme with the other baggers to take over their turns on bringing carts in. Worked especially well in cold/hot weather and when there was rain. Those days I'd be on carts the entire shift, never having to deal with a single customer. Management let me get away with this because my habit of gathering every cart in the lot into a gigantic single train and pushing em in, meant that once I got the timing right, we never ran out of carts and they were pretty sure that I wasn't just slacking off out there. So if you can pull off something similar, it cuts down on stress and is good exercise. (Another good stress relief for grocery woes is the ancient art of frozen turkey bowling in the backroom. Protip: Use Butterball if you can, those glide far superior to any other brand, and once you figure out the proper cast, they're fairly accurate as well.)
  8. I miss factory work. I miss it with a fierce intensity Once you got the process down, it was mindless and repetitive, which I liked. I could zone out into a trancelike state, made the day go by faster, gave the rest of my mind the space and time to analyze whatever I had most recently read about, or other things. (Like the bosses always said, they weren't paying me to think, which I agreed with. If I am being paid minimum and am told in no uncertain terms that I am disposable, then I certainly am not about to put in an ounce more of giving an elf about what I am doing than I have to) At the end of the shift I could look and see a stack of parts that I'd brought into being, which gave a sense of accomplishment. (Unlike kitchen work, where there is no physical evidence you've been there at all at the end of shift. Gets demoralizing after awhile) Best of all I didn't have to pretend to be nice to anyone, I could just do what I needed to do without interacting with anyone if I chose, so long as I kept to the quotas which wasn't difficult. I didn't have to worry about customers going on a powertrip and causing me problems because they felt their sense of superiority and entitlement was not properly appeased. I didn't have some milksop manager getting on me because I don't "smile enough" or I'm not "positive enough". Which is something that enrages the elf outta me. The similarity between the factory jobs, and the restaurant jobs I've had to replace them with do to them disapearing or turning into slavery for the temp agencies, is that both are at the bottom of the pecking order. Neither one was a route to anyone thinking you had any kind of serious place social statuswise, and both paid peanuts.....but in the factory, the managers and bosses understood that the only important thing in their eyes was that things got done right, and got done on time. They couldn't care less about making you pretend your situation was something it was not. The factory bosses also had less of a tendancy to try and micromanage you, because the shop floor was filthy, extremely hot or cold depending on season, so they didn't leave the office unless they had to. The new crop of resturaunt managers can't seem to understand that when you cut someone's hours to the point that they only have 20-30 bucks left after paying rent on a bedbug ridden hellhole every week, and they're constantly having to perform the jobs of three people besides...that person is not going to be "happy". That person is not going to be "positive", and expecting that from them is insulting and insane. Especially when even with two crappy restaurant gigs, I was making less than what even the crappiest of factories paid per week ten or so years before, and I actually had vacation days back then. Unfortunately around 2004, it became impossible to get factory work without going through a temp agency, which meant less money, and no job security whatsoever, and the uncertainty of whether or not you were going to be able to make rent any given month because whether the gig was for 2 days, 2 weeks, or 2 months, the &*^&^%$ in the temp agency would always tell you it was "permenant" or "temp to hire", so you never had any way of really knowing(and which is how I wound up bouncing in and out of the homeless shelter 2007-2010)....restaurant work in the beginning was a way to avoid that. However the current trend of "keep 60 people technically on payroll, but no one gets above 20 hours a week under any circumstances" has brought about a similar result. (rant mode disengaging before I yield to the temptation to take this into bee territory) Either way, they stop sinking the ships and eating the fishermen.
  9. That was how we first discovered tea belongs in the harbor. However since there were far fewer attacks on shipping by mermaids after that, it became obvious that something in it acts as a mermaid repellent and the effect lasts for far longer than anyone could've anticipated. Therefore, if people go around drinking the tea instead of dumping it along the coasts and shipping lanes, then the increased demand makes anti-mermaid defense more expensive than it needs to be. Then there's the fact that tea is a vile plot by the Elves, by drinking it, one opens oneself up to Elven influence. Which is a possible explanation for some of the things that British Empire got up to once they got hooked on the stuff.
  10. Once the gazebo is dead, don't forget to burn what's left of it and keep a close eye out for anything small and fast that may try to escape the flames, don't let it! Otherwise you'll be dealing with an Undead Dread Gazebo as soon as it regenerates.
  11. Factoring in a werewolf's regeneration abilities and rage.... Ok, advantage over regular human reaction times, so at least you'll perceive the attack coming, open question as to whether or not werewolves can outspeed gazebos, so if nothing else this can be a good source of data... Odds are though, you're going in it's maw, which means hacking your way out from the inside while trying not to run out of breath and fending off it's digestive juices. Even then, fighting your way out through the carcass opens up the danger of being caught by the roof collapse...so have an oxygen supply of some kind with you, and a hard hat. Good Luck!
  12. While preparing myself for today's supply run I've been mulling over ideas on how theoretically one man could defeat a gazebo... The gazebo's only weak point is it's supports. The problem is twofold. First, the thickness of them and the fact the inner core is extremely strong means most humans cannot cleave thru it in one blow. The inner core is not only resilient, but it is where the nerve endings are and they are inward facing. So superficial damage doesn't even get the gazebo's attention, but the moment you trigger the nerve endings of the inner supports, it whirls and attacks with blinding speed no human can match, regardless of the number of midiclorians they might have... And a gazebo can maintain fighting effectiveness up until the point only two supports remain. So one man using hand weapons is a recipe for suicide. The answer is shaped charges. The gazebo won't feel them being attached, they can be triggered from a safe distance of three blocks away or more, (the gazebo's death lunge is nothing to sneeze at), and all supports can be taken out at once with minimal loss of life.
  13. It belongs in the harbor, so whatever the water temperature is there is fine.
  14. You know you're sending the poor guy straight into a boss fight with no warm up, right? From what I understand those things have a truly insane number of hit points. Wipe out whole parties on a regular basis. Tend to return six months laters as Dread Gazebos, which are even worse...... Sending one guy on his own? That's just mean, man, mean! Those things tend to hang out at the chewing gum factory North of town. They spend their day hunting down and consuming the poor souls that the temp agencies keep sending in for 2nd shift there. Probably part of the deal with Mammon, Lord of Greed that the owners made back in 2003.
  15. I woke up to the sound of honking. A lot of honking. So I looked outside and found that the house of young people on the corner were all in the front yard again, and this time had two of their number carrying signs that said "You honk, we drink!" The kicker is that both girls carrying the signs had starbucks cups in their off hand. When did college age kids forget that drinking games involve booze, not "coffee" made by heretical elves! If I'm going to have to be woken up by this kind of thing, at least have the common decency to get it right! (lowering of expectations/opinion of younger generation intensifies) And why does everything these days have to revolve around making people honk horns at you? Second batch of neighbors to do this, both around the same age grouping. (Steps down from rant box to go outside, take sprinkler off of the hose, and stand ready in case I need to chase them off of my lawn....)
  16. Crowley can handle his coffee just fine, which proves he is not one of the Elvensouled. Therefore the Solution presented by the Great Pumpkin does not in any way, shape or form apply to him or any other hamster. If nothing else Crowley proves hamsters can handle their coffee better than a lot of humans can.... And while I'm at it, before anyone else starts going on about felines not handling chocolate well, the continued health and well being of One Boot proves otherwise! And on the W.O.O.F. side, Glitterwolf didn't seem to suffer any ill effects from the chocolate Smartees things either! (actual animals are of course a different story, keep the hot chocolate away from them, but then again I've had to deal with both dogs and cats at various times trying to drink my coffee when I wasn't looking. Henceforth, they aren't Elvensouled either.)
  17. It is the result of a fiendish plot by the evil goddess Ricore. Like all creatures of evil, she is unable to truly create, she can only twist and corrupt and the sad saga of decaf is but another example... In 1903 she appeared before a German merchant named Ludwig Roselius, who was convinced his father died of "too much caffeine". Utilizing his grief, she whispered to him foul and corrupt alchemical procedures to "remove the poison" from coffee beans thru the abuse of acids and bases. The archheretic Ludwig patented this abominable process in 1906. Using the health and fitness craze sweeping Germany in the 1920s and 1930s, decaf became used for propaganda purposes and thus the heresy did spread further..... Her purpose in doing so was oddly enough, primarily targeting the Elves. From time to time, an Elven follower of Our Lady of Tobacco will so impress Our Coffee God Agamenthar that upon death the Elven soul is given the opportunity to "move up in the scheme of things" by reincarnating as a Dwarf. However, before that can occur, the Elven soul is first reborn as a human in our world. It is written in the Scrolls of Deep Lore that after the Order of Restraint was served by minions of the celestial mother in law, that Nicotina "spent time visiting relatives" and not long after that the first humans were found wandering about the worlds. This has never been confirmed nor denied in any official capacity, but considering that Agamenthar puts up with the foibles of humanity with a great deal more patience than anyone would've expected, it is more or less given unofficial credence by most who have studied such things. The fact that He uses the human form as a midway point for Elven souls who impress him is a fairly convincing piece of evidence as well. Anyway, because of the frailness of Elves, even when in human bodies, they often have trouble "holding their coffee" as they say. So the folks who for some reason or another have difficulty with coffee are usually these Elven souls. Agamenthar uses this as yet another test, to see what the Elvensouled will do about this. Will they struggle their way thru, or will they fall to the temptation of Ricore's infernal concoctions?* Decaf is meant to prevent the Elvensouled from passing this test, thus inciting the Twitchy Wrath of Our Coffee God, who will once again throw them into the Elven afterlife and from then to the ending of all things they will never live as anything other than Elves. For Ricore, a creature of jealous spite, cannot abide the idea of any Elf being welcomed by Agamenthar after He rejected her, and will fight tooth and nail to do all she can to prevent this. The corruption of humans thru the decaf she views as an added bonus, since she is also convinced that we are a people born of Agamenthar and Nicotina's joining, so our very existence triggers her and if she cannot glut her revenge upon her sister or Agamenthar, she will happily do so upon humanity. Here ends today's lesson. *The answer lies in Hot Chocolate. The Great Pumpkin in his Mercy, has provided a safe path to the Elvensouled who cannot handle coffee, yet refuse to fall to Ricore's trickery.
  18. At the risk of endangering what few sanity points still remain, I have delved further into the subject of Fungal Prophesies.... Thus far the earliest is a rockabilly song written and released by Terry Noland in August* of 1958, entitled "There was a Fungus Among Us". In 1961 the Prophesy was also rendered by Hugh Barrett. (One day I will figure out how to link youtube to posts, but it is not this day.) Within the Prophesy itself, two things are made abundantly clear. 1: The Fungus is the cause of violent altercation at a party. 2: No one knows where/who it is, "Which one is the Fungus?" Combining these shows that the fungus is drawn to human gatherings, and has an ill effect upon them, while at the same time some manner of concealing it's true nature, even from those who recognize it is there and are actively seeking it. How does this apply to our current situation? With the ending of lockdown in many places, human gatherings are more frequent, which seems to have been taken as a "Go" signal by the Fungus. Why did it not make it's move sooner? Because it needed the baleful influence of 2020 to gain it's full power, needed to wait until gatherings resumed, and maybe it has something to do with the month of August itself, stars being right again or some such... The Prophesy concerns itself with a fistfight breaking out at a party, whether this was meant to be taken literally, people who have been cooped up for months unleashing pent up steam at gatherings under the Fungal Influence or as a metaphor for something larger in scale is yet to be seen. What is clear is that even though I've jumped onto this relatively early, the Fungus's ability to obfuscate and deceive is formidable enough that advance warning and dedicated seeking might not be as effective as usual against it. I am also considering the possibility that the Fungus was the true cause of my recent computer/internet annoyances, a preemptive strike. In a way, that would be a good sign, as it shows a certain lack of confidence, if it was worried about being identified so soon after emerging, that means that there exists a way to stop it. Logic along the lines of "If it bleeds, we can kill it."** *62 years later the Zombie Cicada emerge in the same month, coincidence, or something far more sinister? **Does not apply to meatloaf, don't ask me why, years of experiments have yielded not the faintest of clues.
  19. So I've been ninja'd on top of all of this?! Not sure if I should be more concerned about the blow to the ego coming from being beaten to the punch*, or the fact that this is perhaps now closer to the realm of realistic possibility.... *Never got around to playing it, so accidentally plagiarizing it kinda stings a bit, had I known I'd have declared it Prophesy as well, but I can at least console myself with the fact I reached the same plot thru independent means. Although that also reinforces the thought that like the coming of the steam engine, fungus zombie death hug beatdown is inevitable....
  20. I have my theory....in the beginning something along the lines of WWE taking place in the brain of the victim, leading either to mutual annihilation of all concerned, or the closeness of the battle leads them to make a non aggression pact and start working together.... Should the victim also be infected with the plague, all bets are off.... Considering my recent discovery of Turnip28, the setting of which involves people with root vegetables growing out of them, and being mind controlled by them, and my declaration of this as Prophesy....seeing a few days later a fungus that does pretty much exactly the same thing has me a bit rattled. Especially when I recall the following... Tide Pod Challenge Foodie culture already giving insects a serious look as the next "food trend" So a youtube "Eat the Flying Salt Shaker of Death" challenge isn't all that unlikely in the near future. So if this fungus can transfer to humans, sooner or later it will meet up with the feline mind control parasite, so either that will stop it or it will accelerate it.... and if humans react in a similar fashion to the cicadas, ie "become overly affectionate" to put it lightly, then this is going to put a serious damper in the "social distancing" we are using to fend off the plague. Should the fungus start getting into plague victims, then we have reached the point where the idea of Grandfather Nurgle's minions running around hugging everyone has moved from fantastical joke to serious concern.... Humanity's extinction brought about by Fungus-People distributing "Death Hugs".
  21. I have a stack of White Dwarf from the early 2000s to around 2010 or so. When I lived in Austin and saw any at Half Price I'd pick them up as well. Partly for the same reason I'd collect old World of Darkness splatbooks, they are a connection to a world that I enjoyed that is now gone, and partly because using the internet as painting reference came late to me, so having something to ponder and learn from was useful. The current paint scheme I use for white witch hunter clothing/parchment is based on something I found for space marines in one issue. My witch hunter army itself is heavily inspired by one I saw in an "Armies on Parade" article in another. I don't currently subscribe to anything, mostly because I have become spoiled by the reference material available online.
  22. Today was the first time I'd heard of this, and with everything else that's happened this year so far, a mind controlling fungus unleashing it's minions from their slumber was not what I was expecting when watching the local news. So what happens if a young person mistakes one of these things for a Tide Pod and starts munching on it? Can it make the jump to humans like the feline mind control parasite? What happens if the mind controlling fungus meets up with the mind controlling parasite in the same body? Bart was right about them.
  23. I've been outdone by 2020 again, ZOMBIE CICADAS! Yep folks, on top of plague, locusts, murder hornets, and other things, we now have a Zombie Apocalypse thrown into the mix....my upcoming theorizing on a cabal of warlocks running a fake mail order bride scheme, where the "brides" are demons, in an attempt at world domination funded by the Rotary Club got blown out of the water before being fully formed by actual reality.... Zombie Cicadas. As paranoid as I can get, as weird and absurd as my theorizing can get, 2020 found a way to beat me..... Zombie Cicadas. On one hand, this kind of thing makes life interesting, and I have a new foe for the bestiary, on the other, when reality starts seeing my level of weirdness as something to upstage, that ain't a good sign... Zombie Cicadas. I think I need a beer now. HAMMS!
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