Jump to content


paintybeard

Members
  • Content Count

    2113
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

Everything posted by paintybeard

  1. I think we may need a new thread titled either: "Books to read while enjoying a drink" or "Drinks to imbibe while enjoying a book".
  2. paintybeard

    Don't ask me anything. Tell me something.

    If World War One was a bar Fight... Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
  3. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    Yes, sounds like I got the vegan version. Shalln't make that mistake again.
  4. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    Bland and tasteless, but as you've said, I could have done my own condiments. The biscuits weren't so bad, but it was the shock of getting "gravy" that was a bone-white colour that really freaked me out.
  5. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    Yes, I've eaten grits once. Absolutely, emphatically ONLY ONCE. And while we're discussing culture shock/misunderstood foreign cuisine: Biscuits and gravy. I only managed one mouthful.
  6. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    Well salted porridge.
  7. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    The present dog is simply named Chief. But also known as The Misguided Missile.
  8. paintybeard

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    Drink up, the world is about to end.
  9. paintybeard

    Don't ask me anything. Tell me something.

    This was because, by that late in the war, the Germans had no real means of reconnoitring Great Britain. So the British just sent out regular fake news reports that the V2's were overshooting London. ...So the Germans kept lowering their aim. And a lot were launched into Antwerp as well.
  10. paintybeard

    HCU: 77544: Frost Giant Bodyguard

    Paint anything you like, I want to see it!
  11. paintybeard

    Don't ask me anything. Tell me something.

    The post above reminded me of this. Werner von Braun, who helped design the V2 missile and was a major player in the Apollo space programme wrote a rather self-congratulatory auto-biography titled "I Aim For the Stars". Due to what was done with the V2 it was suggested in England that the book should be renamed: "I Aim for the Stars.... But Keep Hitting London".
  12. Again, I have to politely disagree. "Many" regard it as a study of a flawed character gradually losing all redeeming features and becoming a monster. A warning or perhaps a tragedy. Alternatively a lot of historians of the period regard it as an example of the authoritarian nature of the Tudor monarchs, who made sure that nothing was said in favour of their predecessors. Sadly I can't access youtube on ship, but thank you for the link anyway.
  13. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    "Belgium! Swodding BELGIUM!!"
  14. Umm... I really don't think Richard III is intended to be a comedy. Propaganda, perhaps.
  15. paintybeard

    Don't ask me anything. Tell me something.

    Now that is a SERIOUS collection of talent under one roof.
  16. paintybeard

    Finally finished a project

    Very nice. And congratulations on getting the Raging Heroes figures completed without loosing your sanity.
  17. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    Difficult to decide, either: "It's not EASY having a good time." or "Mr Flibble is VERY cross."
  18. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    Soup does not come out of a can, it comes out of ingredients. Auto-condementation should be added to the list of mortal sins.
  19. paintybeard

    Identify The Critter

    Yes, I thought that too; the missing link between 2 kingdoms, half animal, half vegetable and ALL BAD!
  20. paintybeard

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    I still can't see it. What is the advantage of making something much more complicated and difficult to operate than a cross-country 4x4 or tracked vehicle? I admit I was thinking mainly in military terms. I learnt to drive a tracked vehicle with reasonable efficiency in an afternoon. Teaching a recruit to drive one of these walkers must be a much longer job. And maintaining and operating one in the field? No one is really going to do that when a Hummer will do 90% of the same job. And as I say, take one of these onto soft ground and you will have a few million pounds of expensive robotics stuck in a mud puddle.
  21. paintybeard

    Randomness XIV: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

    All "walking tanks" are engineering nightmares when you think about it. Very difficult to drive, permanently badly balanced and easy to disable. And don't get me started on what the ground pressure means...
  22. I'm uncertain if this thread should be here, or "Works in Progress" or even "Kickstarter". So moderators please move it about as required. Anyway, here is a link to a big article on the Osprey Publishing site by Mr Lovejoy of Oathsworn Miniatures on about how he is sculpting some new figures. I wish I had a fraction of his skills. https://ospreypublishing.com/blog/burrows_badgers_sculpting/
  23. paintybeard

    Getting To Know You August

    I have a vision of you as a Star Academy version of the desk sergeant in "Hill Street Blues": "Lets be careful out there, people."
  24. paintybeard

    Don't ask me anything. Tell me something.

    A shame that the film didn't quite match the magazines.
  25. paintybeard

    Identify The Critter

    Yes, looking again at your... construct... The sabre teeth and their sockets look like they have a different origin to the skull. The lower jaw isn't from a carnivore, might be an broccoli or a donkey, doesn't actually appear to have anywhere to join onto the skull Perhaps this is the Piltdown Tiger? Oh I love it! The moderation changed A.S.S. into broccoli!
×