Gailbraithe

He played in several of my campaigns until he got married and moved across the state. He was the most unlucky player I ever had; something like 4 out of every 5 deaths that occurred in campaigns Eric played in were Eric's characters. He got cleaved in twain by an orc, clipped in half by a giant crab, rended into shreds by a troll, flung himself into an enchanted pit of lava, and those are just from one campaign (in which not a single other character died!). Ooh, that reminds me of Jim! Jim was the opposite of Eric. One time Jim and I were invited to play in this guy's 1E D&D game, and Jim brought in a character he rolled up beforehand who didn't have a single stat under 14. The DM didn't believe him and told him he had to reroll his stats in front of the DM. Jim rolled four 18s, a 17 and a 16. Then he rolled a 00 for Strength, just to rub it in. But the most amazing thing I ever saw Jim do was -- okay wait, to understand this, you have to know the set-up. Jim was running a fighter in a 1E D&D game, and he was trying to chase down an enemy that could fly or something (this was twenty years ago, so I'm fuzzy on the specifics) and this put him in a position where he had to jump over a chasm that was like 30' across or something ridiculous. And so he asks the DM what he needs to roll to do, and the DM says "You can jump the chasm if you roll a 7 or higher, but you have to do it on a D6." Everyone laughs, but Jim grabs a D6 and rolls it. It's one of the old, cheap as hell plastic injection molded dice that came with the basic D&D set, the ones you had to rub with a crayon to fill in the numbers. A little yellow thing, you could see the swirling imperfections in the plastic. So Jim rolls the die, it clatters all the way across the table, falls off the edge, hits the tile floor and splits in two. Literally falls apart into two pieces; two pieces which bounce and clatter across the floor and both end up with numbers facing up. From opposite sides of the die. A 3 and a 4. Which adds up to 7. And that's how Jim's fighter in full plate managed to jump a 30' chasm.

Two quick stories: A) In a 2E D&D campaign I'm running, my friend Matt makes a half-ogre grappler named Tahnk. Grapples the heck out of everything, much like the luchador above. One day the party is wandering through the wilderness, and sets up camp. Tahnk's player has been drinking all night, he's getting a bit silly, and becomes very insistent that his character is wandering off alone to "do his business." He's being really dumb and wants to "role play it out!" So I tell him he finds a nice bush to stand behind, drops his trousers and is about to do his business when an OWL BEAR rises up from the other side of the bush and roarsqwaks at him. We spend a couple of minutes debating what a roarsqwak sounds like exactly, and then resolve the combat. Tahnk is able to successfully grapple the owlbear before it can attack. Using the 2E grappling tables, we determine that Tahnk has the owl in a full nelson. He maintains the hold until the owl bear passes out, screaming for help the entire time. The party successfully hears him, comes running, and arrives just after the owl bear passes out. And I smile and say "You come over a slight rise, and in the clearing below you see Tahnk standing in a bush with his pants around his ankles. Directly in front of Tahnk is an unconscious owlbear. Tahnk appears to be holding the owlbears arms back and grinding his hips against its rump. You're not entirely sure, but he appears to be [CENSORED] the owlbear." For the rest of that campaign whenever the party needed to intimidate an NPC, they would point to Tahnk and explain that this guy was so tough he [CENSORED] owlbears, and Tahnk developed a reputation throughout the land for being a degenerate owlbear [CENSORED]. 2) Beta Playtest of Pathfinder, running the Dungeon Crawl Classic adventure Castle Whiterock. My friend Eric is playing an Elven Cleric (forget his name). The party is fighting a few orcs, enough that there is one per player. Eric is getting beaten up on pretty badly but due to the layout of the tunnel he can't move out of harm's way. He attacks the orc and gets a critical hit. We're using the critical hit deck, and he gets a really awesome Bleed damage result and leaves the orc staggered, but the orc doesn't go down. It's going to get in another attack before it dies and Eric knows it. But it is definitely going to die from the bleed damage right after that. He begs the other players to break off from their fights and come kill this orc for him, so that he doesn't go down before he has a chance to heal himself. Everyone asks how many hits points he has (metagaming, but I allow it), and then starts teasing him for being so concerned. The other players all decide not to help him out, promising him that he'll be fine, and the worst thing that could happen is that he goes into negatives. One player actually says outloud "There is no possibility that you'll die." I go to roll the orcs attack. Eric says "He'll get a critical hit." I roll, natural twenty. Eric sighs and says "He's going to confirm." I roll, natural 20 again. Eric grabs his character sheet and crumples it up. The damage is 3d12+24. I roll a 12, 12 and 11. Eric's character has 12 hit points and a 12 Constitution, which means the orc takes him to -47 HP, a good 35 points past "Completely Dead." Everyone else at the table just sits there silently as Eric fumes. I felt so bad for the guy, but at least it wasn't my fault -- I'm not the one who decide to abandon him to fate, like the other player's did. They all felt so guilty. Just the worst thing I've ever seen happen to a player.

That's my least favorite of their tables. Someday I hope to have refined my own woodworking skills to the point that I can build something like what Geek Chic does.

If you have the space, having different tables for wargames and rpgs is really great. I have a dedicated RPG table that I picked up at an office furniture reseller, it was originally a school desk of some kind. This is it, but as you can see Christmas has invaded the Gailbraithe household and the games are put away for now. I usually leave everything set-up from session to session since I run a weekly game. When I DM I sit at the center cutout on the flat side of the table, and so not only can I see everything that my players roll and easily pass things back and forth, but every player can see and reach the map from where they are sitting. And I have my full library of gaming books to my left and right. Plus a five foot python (his name is Kaa) in the tank right behind me, and let me tell you there is nothing like a giant snake right behind you to convince people you're in charge. I used to use this table for wargaming as well, but it doesn't work so great for that. Plus I like to stand when I wargame, but I have a (really, really) bad back, and I find that leaning over to move minis around at normal table height is too painful (it doesn't help that I'm pretty tall myself), so when I built my WarTable I made sure it was extra high to allow me to play comfortably. Some of my friends might need a footstool to make use of the WarTable, but that's what they get for deciding to be munchkins.

If you have the skill and money, the best thing you could possibly do is build a 4'x4' table with 2 2' collapsing wings on two parallel ends. That way you have a 4x4 table for skirmish games, and can pop it open up to 8'x4' for Warhammer, or 6'x4' for Arcane Legions, plus you don't have the hassle of trying to find space where you can leave an 8'x4' table set-up.

Seriously. Never talk about your SO online except in the most glowing terms possible unless you are planning on breaking up. Some people find that having their SO talk about them with essentially anonymous strangers is a real breach of trust. And never imply that your SO is dwarven. Even if she is short, stocky and knows it, no woman wants to have that pointed out to her. Our society bombards women with the idea that being short and thick is bad, and trying to argue against those insecurities is like trying to swim up a flooding river.

Midway through the desert he got really hungry and ate his package of myrrh and dropped dead. The other two wise men, being slightly wiser then he, shrugged and continued on their way, leaving his perfumey body for the buzzards. I'm just saying, but how stupid were Bronze Age people that this moron was considered a wise man? Heyo!

Thanks for the tip. I didn't pre-condition it at all, that's probably my problem -- I noticed that the corner trim, which I bought "stain ready" (and thus presumeably already preconditioned) took the stain much better than the lumber. I haven't varnished it either, which I should look in to.

I built a WarTable. Not technically a miniature, but I'm showing it off anyways. It's quite solid, weighing in the neighborhood of 150 pounds, thanks to the base pedestal - built out of about 64' of 2"x4" and another 12' of 2"x6". The tabletop is a solid piece of pine, 4' x 4', mounted over a frame of 2"x4"s and covered in dark green felt. The whole thing is stained Dark Walnut, and a close examination will show that I am much worse at staining than I am at painting. While this isn't the first piece of furniture I've built, it is the first to include an actual working drawer. It kinda sticks and makes a terrible racket when you pull it out, but it works!

Dear Internets, Star Wars was never as good as you think it was, and Disney isn't nearly as bad as you like to make them out to be. There are no need for hysterics. Sincerely, A Fellow Nerd PS: My favorite Disney Princess is Leia.

I've never watched Hot Lead but it gets good reviews from a lot of people. Scott Jensen's The Painting Wizard's Workshop is a classic that really nails the fundamentals and is focused on painting for the gamer, and Scott himself has a very Bob Ross sort of vibe. You won't learn how to speed paint armies for fantastic results from Hot Lead or its competitors, which are focused on display paints. The best part is you can watch The Painting Wizard's Workshop for free on youtube. Youtube is home to a ton and a half of instructional videos. Most are worth what you'll pay for them, but some are real gems. Oh, and definitely don't buy any of CMON's videos. They're really awful. They're not instructional, you're just watching someone paint a miniature really well, really fast, to the tune of some crappy new age music. Chris at AGP (whose own instructional videos are pretty good) did a review of Miniature Painting Secrets With Natalya that is half an hour long and just rips it to pieces. It's a fun bit of nerdrage. ETA: And somehow I skipped right past Wren's post where she mentioned Painting Wizard.

At a minimum, I'd want: True Blue, Fire Red, Sun Yellow, Fire Orange, Grass Green, Imperial Purple, Chestnut Brown, Stone Gray, Shadowed Steel, Polished Silver, Antique Gold, Pure White, and Pure Black. If you want a real paint set, take advantage of the Build Your Own Paint Set and get the following (if you're only going to get 54, get the first 54 - but if you can swing it, the 108 set is a great deal). 54: 09001: Red Brick 09002: Deep Red 09003: Blood Red 09004: Fire Red 09005: Phoenix Red 09006: Fire Orange 09007: Marigold Yellow 09008: Sun Yellow 09009: Lemon Yellow 09010: Pine Green 09011: Leaf Green 09012: Pale Green 09013: Forest Green 09014: Grass Green 09015: Jade Green 09016: Sapphire Blue 09017: True Blue 09018: Sky Blue 09019: Midnight Blue 09020: Twilight Blue 09021: Snow Shadow 09022: Nightshade Purple 09023: Imperial Purple 09024: Amethyst Purple 09025: Burgundy Wine 09026: Violet Red 09027: Pale Violet Red 09028: Muddy Brown 09029: Earth Brown 09030: Leather Brown 09031: Tanned Leather 09032: Amber Gold 09033: Golden Blonde 09034: Muddy Olive 09035: Olive Green 09036: Pale Olive 09037: Pure Black 09038: Rainy Grey 09039: Pure White 09040: Dark Shadow 09041: Dark Skin 09042: Dark Highlights 09043: Tanned Shadow 09044: Tanned Skin 09045: Tanned Highlight 09046: Fair Shadow 09047: Fair Skin 09048: Fair Highlights 09049: Ancient Bronze 09050: Antique Gold 09051: New Gold 09052: Shadowed Steel 09053: Honed Steel 09054: Polished Silver 108: 09055: Breonne Blue 09056: Templar Blue 09057: Ashen Blue 09058: Bone Shadow 09059: Aged Bone 09060: Polished Bone 09061: Linen White 09062: Leather White 09063: Ghost White 09064: Brown Liner 09065: Grey Liner 09066: Blue Liner 09067: Rosy Shadow 09068: Rosy Skin 09069: Rosy Highlight 09070: Mahogany Brown 09071: Chestnut Brown 09072: Rust Brown 09073: Chestnut Gold 09074: Palomino Gold 09075: Buckskin Pale 09076: Deep Ocean 09077: Marine Teal 09078: Surf Aqua 09079: Deep Amethyst 09080: Indigo Sky 09081: Pale Indigo 09082: Jungle Moss 09083: Highland Moss 09084: Pale Lichen 09085: Shadowed Stone 09086: Stone Grey 09087: Weathered Stone 09088: Stormy Grey 09089: Cloudy Grey 09090: Misty Grey 09091: Golden Shadow 09092: Golden Skin 09093: Golden Highlight 09094: Clear Red 09095: Clear Yellow 09096: Clear Green 09097: Clear Blue 09098: Clear Magenta 09099: Clear Purple 09124: Adamantium Black 09125: Scorched Metal 09244: Muddy Soil 09245: Basic Dirt 09246: Brown Sand 09241: Auburn Shadow 09242: Carrottop Red 09243: Highlight Orange 09256: Blonde Shadow 09257: Blonde Hair 09258: Blonde Highlight

Wait, an unlimited budget? I'll take one of everything, thank you.

They have a solution for that problem, you know.

Hover your mouse over their name and a menu will pop up with a "Send Message" option. You'll probably have more luck reaching John through his blog though. Your designs might not be in John's wheelhouse (I think he's more into hard sci-fi/mecha), but he might be able to recommend someone. And if you're looking for sculptors, there are better forums than this one to do that. Your best bet is to try the 1listSculpting Yahoo Group. Second, try either the Forum of Doom or, if you dare, Frothers Unite UK., but I'll warn you, everyone likes to wear their asshat there.

A really comfortable chair.

Yeah, John Bear Ross is the first guy I'd talk to.

I built some quick and dirty shelves for my work area. My Table of Shame was poorly organized and overflowing, so now I have the Shelving Unit Of Shame. The empty shelf will get filled with WH40k stuff in need of painting. I may have to add another shelf in preparation for the Bones KS, but at the moment I am deluding myself into thinking I can paint enough between now and March to clear off a shelf. Here's a close-up of the Reaper section. You can click and embiggen the picture, see how many miniatures you recognize. There are a couple of Ral Partha's mixed in there as well.

Why? The gnoll's feet are almost 2 shoulder widths wide. It is done to convey a heroic stance. Would you like pictures to illustrate what I'm talking about? He really does have a wide stance/gait/step. Because saying someone has a "wide stance" is a way of saying they are gay. Or more specifically, that they are a closeted gay Republican. So when you say that the gnoll has a wide stance it sounds really, really funny.

Oh my god, please, stop saying wide stance. You guys are killing me.

Really awesome color scheme. Very daring, but it totally works. Might want to do a little shading on the teal armor bits though, they look a bit flat.

This is me, rolling on the floor, laughing my butt off.

The Bones Gnoll is also a large figure, it won't fit on a 1" base. Reaper Miniatures aren't D&D miniatures. They aren't always designed to work perfectly with D&D write-ups of monsters. They're meant to be used with any fantasy RPG, and they have their own scale. Sometimes this can be downright annoying (for example, I love the gnoll sculpts, but I wish they were just a little smaller so they'd fit on a medium base, or at least a 40mm round display base...). It's worth noting that the "large" Reaper figures vary greatly in size. Some will absolutely dominate a 50mm base -- the Frost Giants, for example, really fill up the base -- while others will fill up a 40mm round, but leave a lot of space on a 50mm square. Take a look at the Festering Spirit that metalchaos just posted in Show Off. That's a largish figure, but metalchaos put his on the edge of a 50mm square and had a HUGE space to do detailed basing. The idea here, from what I've heard Bryan say, is that you can use these figures as large or medium creatures. I mean you can make three of the gnolls stand adjacent to each other in 1" squares even with the broccoli bases. They'll overlap a little and it can be a pain in the butt, but it works. Or you can use them as large creatures. Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. If you take just about any human figure from the D&D minis line and compare it to a Reaper human, the Reaper model will look more heroic and larger (and a lot more detailed) -- The D&D Mini humans are 25mm scale, about the same as GW's Lord of the Rings minis. Same with orcs and the like. The D&D Mini large and huge figures (especially the later sets) are much bigger than the Reaper equivalents, because they're plastic, but the Reaper mediums are bigger than the D&D mediums. Plus they're just way, way better. I mean, compare that Bones Gnoll to the D&D Mini Gnoll. The Bones one has better detail, a better pose, and is more dynamic in every way (and also one of my favorite of Tre's sculpts). All of the Bones you'll be receiving are going to be like that relative to whatever D&D monster you compare them to. Except maybe the owlbear. That's a pretty badass owlbear you got there, and all of Reaper's owlbears kinda suck. Sad but true.

Yep, that flail is still totally awesome. And thanks for bringing this mini to my attention. I am in need of an ogre zombie, and he looks like he'll fit the bill perfectly.

The trick with eyes like that on a monster is to not try for pupils. Just paint the eye red or yellow, like they've got dog eyes and someone is shining a light towards them. Highlight it like you would a gem if you can, but even a yellow dot is better than nothing.