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  1. I've recently been in a position to give some advice and comfort to a 12-year old whose parents are considering divorce, and I'm struggling to know what to say to her, or whether I even said the right things. Background: I don't actually know her much at all, and we've never met in person. In a game that I play (Animal Crossing: New Leaf), there is an area where players can meet people from all over the world and play mini games together, and add them to their friends list if they want to. I did this once about a month ago, and this girl, I'll call her R, friended me, and it seemed like she needed a friend so I friended her back. Today, she told me that yesterday her little brother told her that her big brother was crying, and when she went to see what was going on, she overheard her mother telling her big brother that things might be changing, that her dad would be getting the house, one of the cars, etc.; basically, that a divorce may be imminent. Neither parent has said anything to the family in general, and she's (understandably) scared to ask her mother for clarification. Never having been in that situation myself, I did my best to advise and comfort her; I asked if she was close to her mother (sort of), and whether there was a time/place she could talk to her mother alone (certain days, in the car). She was scared and nervous about how to approach her mother in conversation about this, so I suggested writing a note and giving it to her mother before they got in the car so they could have that time to talk about it. I just...I'm not sure what to say to her. The closest that I've had this happen to me was my dad was going through some intense personal struggles (which did affect our whole family) that necessitated him taking a few days away from the rest of the family to work through. Before I knew about this, my dad had once, when he was upset with me, said that he and mom were considering divorcing, which I of course took to mean that if they did that it would be my fault, etc. etc. I did tell this to R, and she seemed to appreciate hearing my experience, and I made sure to emphasize that it was NOT because of anything I was/was not doing that they had been considering it. So, I guess my question is: to those of you who have been in this situation, or who have had friends or family going through this, what do you wish someone had said to you? What sorts of things made the pain at least a little bit less? I know I won't be able to solve or take away what's happening in her life, I'm just trying to figure out what I, as a random person on the internet, can say to her that might help, even a little. I appreciate your reading this, and I'm sorry if it brings back painful memories. I just want to know what I can do to help. Thanks, --OneBoot
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