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“...and I, Colonel Duke Jones, stand on the surface of Mars for all of humankind and in the spirit of exploration that’s taking our species beyond its Earthly bounds. And I’m lighting this cigar to celebrate a successful mission.” “Haha. Good speech, Duke. You're the first human in 76 years to stand on the surface of another planet. How’s it feel to be further from Earth than any other human being?” “Pretty good, Pioneer. It’s humbling and really gives a sense of perspective. The air is thin but breathable. Those terraforming guys did a great job. Hey, the camera’s working, right? This is being broadcast back to Earth?” “Yep, it's all good. There's a delay but they're getting it. Audience figures are even bigger than Kim Kardashian’s state funeral, so well done!” “How do things look from up there in orbit?” “We’re all good, just watching you and keeping an eye on your vitals.” “OK, Pioneer. I’m gonna have another puff on this cigar and—” “Duke, sorry to break in, but Jim just had an idea. The Earth is directly behind you. Could you turn around so we can get a shot of you looking back at it?” “Sure thing, Pioneer.” “How’s this?” “That's just perfect, Duke. Everything’s A-OK.” “Good to know, Pioneer. We're still live, right?” “We certainly are. Jim, you owe me fifty dollars.”