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  1. It was last night, when I was assembling my Trailer Park Boys miniatures, the ones that will live in the Trailer Park of the Damned, with the Airfix trailers and the hand built convenience store, when the zombie apocalypse begins, and the objectives will include raiding the convenience store for supplies, and turning on the generator in the parking lot to power the floodlights... without getting pounded by the Tank. See, I was carefully adding the little glass in Julian's hand, the one that ALWAYS holds a rum and coke, even in that one episode where he rolled the $***mobile twice and it came to rest upside down and he crawled out the driver's side window... still holding his drink... which he hadn't spilled. Julian ALWAYS has a rum and coke in his hand in almost EVERY scene in EVERY episode, and his figure wouldn't have been complete unless he was holding a rum and coke, see? I have yet to manage Non-Liquor-Liquor painting, like NLL, y'know? But I figured if I painted it cinnamon brown, maybe with flickers of white for the ice cubes, I'd be okay... ...and then I dropped the dratted thing, right down between my knees. I heard it hit the tile. But that meant nothing. I loved the Wild West Steampunk Oz minis when they came out, and I bought them soon as Bob and Julie showed them to me at Reapercon, but MY Dorothy isn't holding a pistol. Why? Because I dropped the dratted hand holding it, and it fell between my knees into the Oblivion Beneath My Feet. I wound up having to use a different hand, one holding a sawed off shotgun; my other pistol hands were too big for Dorothy's petite frame. The floor in the Craft Room I share with She Who Dances With Mouselings has the horrible white flokati carpet, the carpet that came with the house, the carpet I've been tearing out a bit at a time and replacing with floor tiles. She hates the flokati carpet, and so do I, because it's the shag carpet from hell, gawdawful white long shag that grabs and consumes anything, like a horrible D&D monster from a late first edition supplement written by geeks who were upside down at the time on whiskey and terrible drugs. My home has never had cockroaches. Occasionally we find a dessicated mouse skeleton in the garage. I wonder if the carpet eats them, too. But I digress. After I lost a Bones gnome in that dratted carpet, I kind of lost my mind. She Who Dances With Mouselings bought me this gorgeous enormous rolltop desk around that time, and in a fit of rage, I tore out the carpet in that entire corner of the hobby room and replaced it with tile. BEGONE, o figure-eating shag abomination!!! The carpet chunks are in the garage now, in front of the washing machine, to spare poor bare feet the ravages of cold cement in Colorado winters. I shook it out, expecting to see Dorothy's gun, a Bones gnome, a couple of Crazy Cat Lady cats, and the left arm of Murkillor The Wraith King, among other bits, fall from its periphery like metal rain. They did not. The carpet had long since digested them. But now I had tile beneath my feet at the workbench. The Hellcarpet would murder no more. Or so I thought. I wound up having to improvise another bit to represent Julian's drink. I KNOW where the rotten thing FELL. I heard it. Heard where it fell. But when I shone a flashlight there, the rum and coke was gone. Had the same problem a couple of hours later with Bubbles, when I attempted to affix one of his kitties to the base. It fell, and I heard the tick. But when I sought it out? Nowhere. Wound up having to cannibalize yet another kitty from the Crazy Cat Lady. While the glue was drying, I crawled beneath the rolltop with the flashlight and went prospecting. After a good five minutes, I found the kitty... three feet from where I had heard it fall. Another ten minutes yielded Julian's drink; it was over in the corner of the room, where it could NOT possibly have bounced or rolled. What IS it about the oblivion beneath my feet? Do things bounce? Do they teleport away? Are the laws of physics altered between my knees or something? It would certainly explain my last marriage.... Does anyone ELSE have problems like this when gluing bits to other bits? Or, like Rhonda Bender and her ilk, do your projects simply magically take shape, without error, effort, or droppage?
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