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  1. This is a Nightblade, from the late great Mage Knight minis game. I used to play the game, but the terrible paint jobs bothered me. So I'd repaint any piece I intended to use on the field. At one point, I played a very effective Necropolis army, and I fielded several Nightblades. Cheap melee units, fieldable in numbers. In the game fluff, they were corrupted elves, forced to fight in the combat pits for the entertainment of the masses, until the finest of them were ready to make war for the cause of the Necropolis! For some reason, Nightblades were always female, which makes you wonder about the tastes in entertainment the Necropolis masses held dear. And my first serious efforts at figure modification involved changing poses on Nightblades, because if I'm putting six or eight of them out there, they're going to be UNIQUE, durnit, as opposed to a dominatrix chorus line, you know? One day, my little girl came in and asked what I was doing. She often did that, as the old man often could be counted upon for magic, miracles, wonders, and dinosaurs at his workbench. So I showed her the figure and recited the paragraph directly above this one. "Ah," she said. "You're making Bondage Elves." The name stuck. And spread, because after that, I just couldn't call 'em Nightblades any more, and repeatedly Freudian-slipped at the gaming tables when describing my moves. At one point, at the FLGS, it was told that Doc was the only player who regularly fielded an army of weaponized sex workers. Not long after that, I switched to Atlantis Guild. I thought I'd sold off my Necropolis army years ago, but recently, I stumbled across a few pieces in a box what hadn't been opened in a decade. Three Bondage Elves were among the spoils. I cut 'em up and reposed them, filled the cracks, filed the seams, repainted them to MY tabletop standard, as opposed to some grandmother in China with a spray gun and frisket, and rebased them. Finally, I left 'em on the workbench to dry. When I returned, one was missing. She turned up a couple days later, in the bedroom carpet. Rotten cats. I retrieved her, checked her over -- no, no damage, no scratched paint. Miracle, really. I took her back in the hobby room, and coated her with clear coat. When I returned, she was missing again. Same figure. Not the others, just the one Bondage Elf. She turned up a week later, floating in the dogs' water bowl. Amazingly, she remained unscratched and undamaged, perfectly intact. I dried her off, and put her on the Science Table in the hobby room until I could figure out what to do with her and the other two Bondage Elves. The following day, I noticed that the items on the Science Table were rearranged, as if a cat had somehow got up there. And sure enough, she was gone again. I began to imagine that I'd start getting postcards, showing her posed on the sidewalk in Times Square, Vegas, Mount Rushmore, the Taj Mahal... She turned up again a couple of days later, this time at the bottom of the basement stairs. Does anyone ELSE have trouble with rotten cats absconding with particular figures that strike their feline fancy?
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