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"...you see, sweetie, the biggest bone Santa Claus has is in his HEAD. That means he can squeeze through any crack or hole that he can get his head into. That's why he likes chimneys; they're bigger than his head. But it's okay if you don't have a chimney. Santa Claus can get in through cracks in the foundation, loose or unsecure siding, unused plumbing, or even second story windows, which Bob Vila says is the best way to let him in in the first place. So don't worry, sweetie, Santa will be there. He's inevitable." And as we stood in the checkout line, the little girl sitting in the grocery basket looked at me in joyful open mouthed wonder, while her mother looked at me with utter horror. Apropos of nothing, this adorable little girl who was maybe four years of age had engaged me in conversation in the checkout line; her subject of choice was Santa Claus. She had expressed concern that since they had moved to a new home, Santa wouldn't be able to get in, for all that Mommy had made sure to send him the new address, because the new place did not have a fireplace. I felt bad for the poor moppet, and proceeded to quote her chapter and verse from an episode of "This Old House," and simply substituted the words "Santa Claus" for the word "rat." Don't you worry your cute little head, sweetie doll; just you listen to Unca Doc. He knows. Man, I'm goin' to hell in EVERY religion....