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National Talk Like a Pirate Day


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How much does it cost a pirate to get a piercing?

A buck an ear!

 

How did the pirate stop smoking?

He used the patch!

 

How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?

An arm and a leg!

 

How did the pirate know he found land?

He was shore of it!

 

How do pirates know when they are about to be attacked?

They watch Sea-span!

 

A college student is doing a research paper on pirates. He goes to the docks one day and finds a drunkard swarthy pirate laying at the edge of a pier. After a brief explaination he asks " How did you lose your leg?"

The pirate responds "Yarrrr I was swimming in that thar sea and shark beet off my leg it did."

"Wow....well what happened to your hand? You have a hook on it."the student asks.

The old man replies " I was burring my treasarr and a croc beet off me hand ..left me with this hook it did."

"That's horrible!" says the student, "So what happened to your eye?"

Pirate replies with " A bird crapped in it."

Puzzled the student asks " You lost your eye because of bird crap!?"

 

The old pirate replies "No no ... twas me first day with me hook."

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Avast, ye scurvies, ye see this 'ere cutlass? Present from Edward Teach when I was cabin boy. Me band-anna? Anne Bonnie gave it ta me after I saved 'er own life, says I. The parrot? Arrr, the parrot's, uh...pinin' fer the fjords!

 

God [email protected] them all! I was told

We'd sail the seas for American gold

Fire no guns, shed no tears

Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier

The last of Barrett's Privateers!

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Arrrrr This be me poor attempt at humor. Hope ye like it

 

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird poop!"

"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

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Arrrrr This be me poor attempt at humor. Hope ye like it

 

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird poop!"

"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

Laugh...I take it you didn't read the entire thread huh?...

 

Look two posts up....*grin*

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