Getting to Know You - September Edition

[Elyscia]

On 9/13/2023 at 6:27 AM, Thoramel said:

Question September 13: Coffee, yes or no? If yes, do you buy pre ground coffee or whole bean? And are you particular about where you get your coffee?

 

Yes! I buy whole bean and grind it myself. I would say I'm not particular as I have to weigh in the costs per pound and how much I consume. There's a fine line to grind.

[Count Urlik]

6 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 14: How many kobolds do you think you could fight at once and what would you be fighting them with?

 

Edit: Assume the Evil DM that put you in this situation only provides you with melee weapons.

Oh my gods, this is the best question ever!!!

 

all right, if we’re in the house and they come busting through, I could probably get to the bear spray (can at each doorway).  That would give me enough time to throw the Knick knacks and vases that I dislike to do significant damage, plus free up valuable display space!  Once I make it to the knife drawer, it’s all over for them.  Bonus points if i can get to the “bear claws” (Wolverine inspired knuckle knives designed for pulled pork).  The blowtorch (Crème brûlée, sous vide meat finishing, etc…) will be pretty effective for interrogation of the token survivor - bound with zip ties and cooking twine.  Sous vide kobold steaks?

 

if it’s outside, pick axe, rake or dethatching tools would make for a quick and ugly end, especially if I can get the riding mower involved!  It’s still melee, and I should get my 10’ reach!

 

the garage would be a bitter end.  Bowling balls, ice climbing tools and bulk solvents… with my advantage in ultradifficult terrain (5’ movement) they’d never have a chance.

 

the greenhouse?  Lengths of pvc pipe and wrenches until I can get them near the pond, where the koi will reluctantly nibble on their drowned remains.

 

Finally, I can only pity the poor war band that finds me in the shop.  I’d probably fire up the dust collector to cover their shrieks…. However, I’ll honor the guidelines, and only use the air nailers in melee mode.

Edited September 14 by Count Urlik

[TGP]

7 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 14: How many kobolds do you think you could fight at once and what would you be fighting them with?

One. 
Then it wins. 
F

F

F

F

F

F

F

 

(You specified that this is the guy behind the keyboard rather than the fierce and mighty Griffin I play on the internet. The Griffin Pendrake just snatches Kobold 1 in its Talons, takes flight, then drops K1 on its fellows from altitude. But, no this is Papers and Paychecks… )

 

“what would you be fighting them with?“

 

What sorts of melee weapons are available in Papers and Paychecks?

 

[ratsmitglied]

On 9/13/2023 at 9:27 PM, Thoramel said:

Question September 13: Coffee, yes or no? If yes, do you buy pre ground coffee or whole bean? And are you particular about where you get your coffee?

No longer

8 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 14: How many kobolds do you think you could fight at once and what would you be fighting them with?

 

Edit: Assume the Evil DM that put you in this situation only provides you with melee weapons.

If we are taking real life, maybe one or two, with a brush hook.... Or chainsaw

 

After all, I do have those tools, but can't really fight

[Pezler the Polychromatic]

12 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 14: How many kobolds do you think you could fight at once and what would you be fighting them with?

 

Edit: Assume the Evil DM that put you in this situation only provides you with melee weapons.

Swing a flumph at them. Of course, the flumph will be holding a flumph in each tentacle and swinging them as well, who are also holding flumphs and so on and forth until there's an infinite number of flumphs swinging at an infinite amount of kobolds! UNSTOPPABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited September 15 by Pezler the Polychromatic

[TGP]

53 minutes ago, Pezler the Polychromatic said:

…infinite number of flumphs swinging at an infinite amount of kobolds…

Call that: Crisis On Infinite Tabletops

[GoldenPiggy]

15 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 14: How many kobolds do you think you could fight at once and what would you be fighting them with?

 

Edit: Assume the Evil DM that put you in this situation only provides you with melee weapons.

Assuming that they are trained in their weapons and I am limited to my actual fighting skills, probably not more than two or three, maybe just one.  I'd probably stick with a baseball bat or some other long-ish blunt weapon.  I suspect my only real advantage over them would be superior reach, since they are pretty small.

 

And now I want to go learn to fight with a sword, just in case the kobolds come.  Though realistically, I'd probably use a gun instead in a real-life scenario.

[WhiteWulfe]

18 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 14: How many kobolds do you think you could fight at once and what would you be fighting them with?

 

Edit: Assume the Evil DM that put you in this situation only provides you with melee weapons.

Why are so many looking at fighting them?  So many more options, like coax them into learning to paint and then get them into tabletop gaming... No, this isn't some ploy to con kobolds into painting my forces for me... 

 

Alternatively, why fight when we can all sit down and have coffee?  We're overflowing with it thanks to yesterday's question... 

 

Or if you're into paintball or laser tag there's a ton of fun there, because its two full teams.... 

 

If it's an "evil DM" throwing a horde of then at me, I just hope then there's enough materials for good BBQ, because I'm sure kobolds will also enjoy bbq'd DM... 

[Thoramel]

Question September 15: Is there anything you did or got away with as a child that would have gotten you in trouble that your parents never found out about?

[Chaoswolf]

44 minutes ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 15: Is there anything you did or got away with as a child that would have gotten you in trouble that your parents never found out about?

Yup, and I'm still not telling!

[Corsair]

1 hour ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 15: Is there anything you did or got away with as a child that would have gotten you in trouble that your parents never found out about?

Nope, they always found out! As my Dad would say, He didn't get nervous until us boys got quiet.

[Cranky Dog]

1 hour ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 15: Is there anything you did or got away with as a child that would have gotten you in trouble that your parents never found out about?

Not really. Most of my "experiments" with fire or our wood stove left evidence. But at least I never burnt the house down.

 

For the rest, I was pretty much a trouble free kid.

 

Edited September 15 by Cranky Dog

[WhiteWulfe]

2 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 15: Is there anything you did or got away with as a child that would have gotten you in trouble that your parents never found out about?

There are things I've gotten away with.  Problem is, they've also gotten away from me too... 

[Jasper_the_2nd]

2 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 15: Is there anything you did or got away with as a child that would have gotten you in trouble that your parents never found out about?

Yes. So much yes.

Good thing I was the "good kid"........ 🙄

[Glitterwolf]

3 hours ago, Thoramel said:

Question September 15: Is there anything you did or got away with as a child that would have gotten you in trouble that your parents never found out about?

Probably but nothing really serious I think.