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Satire: Annoying stuff


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Satire:

 

You know, there are alot of extremely annoying and aggravating stuff that people keep on doing almost absentmindedly. You know what I mean?

 

Here's one.

 

Guy falls down the stair at my school, and his friends shout "Are you alright???". What the hell? He just fell down a freakin' stairs! Does he look alright to you? :rolleyes:

 

I mean, it's always in movies, too! A guy gets shot, and his hot babe of a girlfriend grabs him in her arms and pleads to him, "Oh my god! Baby, are you okay?"...

Uhhh, yeah, I'm fine. I just got a piece of metal lodged inside of one of my major organs. Don't worry, I'll live... for about ten more seconds, that is.

 

I just can't understand why people just go on and on, doing those kind of stuff, and yet be so unconscious to why they are doing it!

 

 

 

 

:;):::P:

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Heh this reminds of that comedian who says here's your sign. For example a trucker jacknives right before an under pass, a cop pulls up and asks did you get in an accident? No officer I was just delivering this bridge and decided to take a break. Here's your sign.

 

 

::P:

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I know how you mean about warnings on stuff..like the warning on plastic "to-go" lids on coffeecups... WARNING CONTENTS MAY BE HOT

 

First of all, is there a doubt, either in the mind of the one purchasing the hot beverage or of the one selling it, that the beverage just MIGHT not be hot? Secondly, why doesn't a similar warning appear on ..I dunno... PIZZA? Sheesh how many times have we all burned the roofs of our mouths on hot mozzarella from starting in on a fresh hot pizza.

 

Then there's drycleaning bags.. bad enough that we've devolved as a sentient race so far that any warning needs to be posted to prevent accidental suffocations...but now the warning says "THIS IS NOT A TOY"

 

Well THAT explains why my seven-year-old was so goshdarn disappointed last Christmas when I gave him a whole boxful of drycleaning bags.

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When a box marked "Fragile" has "Do not turn upside down" printed at the bottom of it, I think something is definatly wrong... <_<

 

Also, like paints and varnish. "Do not consume".

Yeah, I would find stuff that dries to chunks of acrylic very nutrious! Yum! :rolleyes:

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Here's one that struck me....

 

BTW I'm making fun of the newspaper, not the poor lady.

 

"OUTRAGE: Hit-and-run victim Sheree New was left for dead after being struck by a car."

 

Dur, that's why they call it hit and run!

News that over hypes the issues is annoying.

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I personally despise accidentaly stepping in water while wearing my socks. That wet sock foot moment when you first step in the water is just a drag.. <_< especially if they're your last clean pair and you have to head out the door soon. :angry:

 

Or, wet jeans or khakis in the dryer that didn't fully dry, but you have to wear them...because they're your uniform...and they smell moldy to boot. :angry:

 

Also, getting telemarketed while I'm on the national don't call list is freeking annoying. I've taken to screaming blathering cursewords at the offender. I"m a nice guy, but those overseas telemarketers who operate incessantly trying to sign me up for credit cards with outrageous hidden fees and contracts...I feel like reaching through the phone cord and boxing the ears of the hapless teleflunkie.

\I work at home, so this is and has been a recurring issue. It's gotten better since the no call list went into effect, but the ones that still do it regardless and wont give me their info so i can report them, make me want to break them off something something... :grr::grr::grr:

Here's my opinion, if you don't know me, don't call me unless I've asked you to.

 

okay, relieved now. Hey, you asked right?

 

Oh yeah, what's up with the missing sock in the dryer...???? I mean, that is so true, what is up with that anyway lol. :upside::rock:

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I know how you mean about warnings on stuff..like the warning on plastic "to-go" lids on coffeecups... WARNING CONTENTS MAY BE HOT

Sad thought is that warning is in place because a few really stupid people actually sued the place they got the coffee from for getting burned. I remember back when I was in I believe highschool I heard about some woman suing McDonalds because she got burned when she placed the hot cup between her legs while driving and some of the coffee spilled on her. :blink:

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Enchantra, that happened about 6 years ago. Thank god McDonalds finally won on appeal against her multimillion dollar lawsuit. The woman was pulling out of the drive through with the cup between her legs with the cover off.

 

Or how about the morbidly obese people that tried to sue McDonalds for making them fat. I didn't know eating a Big Mac, Large fries, Shake, and Apple Pie every day for lunch and dinner would make me fat. It doesn't say on the box: Warning contents within may cause you to explode.

 

People with clearly more than 10 items in the in the express lane at the grocery really pisses me off. Especially when it also says cash or credit only and they try to pay by check.

 

Here's a stupid label for you. I just bought a new hot glue gun recently. Guess what it says right by the nozzle. "HOT Warning May Burn" Ummm it's a HOT glue gun. No sh** the part where the HOT GLUE comes out might be a little warm....

 

I hate the Atlanta-area judges for convicting a guy of parole violations, but allowing him to not go to jail until after the post-season of baseball because he plays for the Braves. Yet some poor schmuck, who would desperately need to work to provide for his family, would be incarcerated the next day.

 

I also hate when I paint a wash, but I'm actually making my mini dirtier with paint.

You dirty dirty miniature...

 

I hate that hot dog buns come in packs of 8, but hot dogs come in packs of 10. That means you have to make 40 hot dogs get the right number of buns and dogs. And why are they called hot dogs? And where did my dachsund disappear to? Grilling yesterday and one of my co-workers brought hot dogs.

 

Women vs womyn. I don't get it. Women is superior in total letters, and the men portion is at the arse end of the word.

 

What happens if a woman needs to go to the bathroom and she isn't wearing a skirt. Which picutre on the door does the follow? What if you;re a Scotsman? What if you;re not wearing any pants. And what happens if you go to Bugaboo Creek and you don't know that a Doe is a female dear and a Buck is male?

 

People that complain that the Slow Children signs imply that there is a mentally deficient child in the neighborhood rather than tell you drive drive carefully. Yes, there is someone mentally deficient living there, but it isn't the child!

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