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Satire: Annoying stuff


Vinny
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Things that tick me off-the short list (in no particular order):

 

-Cellular phones

 

-Motorcycles

 

-People who say things like "ATM machine", "hot water heater", "PIN number", and "nukuler".

 

-People who turn left at the intersection of Fite Street and West Avenue

 

-People who pull out in front of me and slow down (if you're in such a hurry that you risk an accident, drive faster, jackhole)

 

-Dancing

 

-Dancing for no reason

 

-Fat people who don't like to be called "fat" (Husky is a kind of dog, Obese is a medical term for a specific body fat ratio, and Chunky is a candy bar, although there is a mountain between Franklin, NC and Punkintown, NC called Chunky Gal)

 

-The question "Does this make me look fat?"

 

-Cinematography

 

-Reality TV

 

-People who make fun of football and/or baseball

 

-The Welsh

 

-Restaurants who won't let you bring your own gravy

 

-The pee trough

 

-Anyone who can't pronounce Lynyrd Skynyrd correctly or who thinks "Sweet Home Alabama" is their best song (it's "Swamp Music", thankyouverymuch)

 

-The phrase "It's that time of year again"

 

-The term "panda bear"; they're not bears, folks, they're related to raccoons.

 

-Rodney King and/or O. J. Simpson jokes

 

-Kids walking around with their pants around their knees (buy a belt!)

 

-Kiss (the band)

 

-The check engine light

 

-People who don't vote

 

-Half a shoe

 

-Rap music

 

-Folks driving by my house a 3 AM with said Rap music blasting so loud as to shake my house

 

-Ray Lewis

 

-Non southerners who make fun of the South

 

-Carnivals

 

-Blue laws (No beer on Sunday :angry: )

 

-Hippies

 

-People who put clothing on dogs

 

There are many, many more, but this is the short list.

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a few nights ago i was striaghtening up the shelves at work. I cam across some preperation H. Now here we have hemroid creme, for one's arse, and in nice bold letters it says, "do not take orally". To me, this means that some idiot tried that.

 

Remember (it may have been posted here) most warnings are written in blood, meaning that at one time or another it was a possible issue with one or more parties.

 

Fallen

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One of my biggest pet peeves is when a person says they dont like something that they have never tried (food alergies aside). I hope my kids arent pickey eaters when they are little, because if they dont try stuff, they are going to starve!

 

PS Asparagus is really good! I just found this out last weekend after I tried it for the first time, at an SCA even....yummy!

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People who say " hot/cold enough for ya?"

 

Middle class white kids who dress "urban"

 

22" wheels are NOT cool. Whoever said they were lied.

 

Celebrities and other talking heads who are less well educated than I, trying to bestow pearls of wisdom.

 

Britney Spears

 

Boy Bands

 

The French

 

People who are ignorant, know they're ignorant, and don't care.

 

Subscription cards in magazines

 

E-cards

 

People who spank their kids for turning around in the booth and saying "hi" to me repeatedly so that I may now listen to the infinitely more annoying crying of the child instead of the only mildly annoying "hi".

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I can't stand the band Kiss.  You know, the guys with the face paint and elevator boots?  Gene Simmons, Ace Frehly, Peter Criss, and Paul Stanley?

Yeah, I'm with you on this one. Hate Kiss...

 

22" wheels are NOT cool. Whoever said they were lied.

 

Don't forget muffler loudeners! We have a term for those, which I won't repeat here...

 

Damon.

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