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Satire: Annoying stuff


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hehehe I remember that knife one....how bout the superman pj's with the tag that reads "Suit does not enable you to fly"

The commercial for the Buzz Lightyear breakfast cereal. At the end of the commercial the cereal flies from the box into the bowl. In little white letters at the bottom of the screen:

 

"This is not a flying cereal."

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People who spank their kids for turning around in the booth and saying "hi" to me repeatedly so that I may now listen to the infinitely more annoying crying of the child instead of the only mildly annoying "hi".

Kids turning around in a restaurant because they are curious do not bother me in the least. In fact, I have a bad habit of encouraging it by making funny faces at them and playing peek a boo. Usually I get yelled at by my wife before the kid gets in trouble with his folks.

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People who go straight in a left turn only lane.

 

Pedestrians that cut out in front of me when there is a crosswalk with a walk signal 10 feet down the road.

 

Waitstaff that ask if I want change when I give them a $20.00 and my meal cost $11.26

 

When people do not replace the water bottle in the office cooler when they empty it, or don't ask someone for help to replace it if they cannot handle the big container. Seems every time I go to refill my Nalgene it's empty.

 

People who order something off the menu, then ask the waitstaff to radically alter it to something that is actually another menu item (sorry Mom - she does it all the time).

 

When my wife says she doesn't want french fries, but then turns around and eats all mine off my plate.

 

People who fail to have the common courtesy of every other vehicle when lanes merge. These are also typically the same sphincters that ride your tail, whip into the other lane, cut you off, all so they can move that one car length ahead of you in the same bumper to bumper traffic the other 5000 motorists are in every day on my commute home.

 

My commute home (1.5 - 2.5 hr on average), while passing another office within the same department 3 blocks from my house every day, but not being able to work there because there are no openings.

 

People that spend 8 hours of the day at an intersection asking for spare change because they cannot work and have a family to support. Ummm you're there for 8 hours, on your feet, rain or shine. I bet there is a job you can perform somewhere.

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Enchantra, that happened about 6 years ago. Thank god McDonalds finally won on appeal against her multimillion dollar lawsuit. The woman was pulling out of the drive through with the cup between her legs with the cover off.

Thanks Q. ::D: I think my memory is going lately. Must be old age. :blink:

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Here's a major case of stupidity for you:

 

My Mom works at a pharmaceutical company in the Medical Affairs department. Many years and two company buyouts ago her company made Desenex Creme for Athletes foot. In her particular department at that time they handled product complaints and side effects and adverse reactions called in by Patients, Doctors, Nurses and other healthcare professionals.

 

Well one day Mom gets a call. The lady on the other end of the phone was actually saying how well Desenex worked for her, but that she had a strange side effect. Mom of course assumed it was for the woman's athletes foot. Nope. The woman used it to cure her yeast infection and couldn't figure out why her skin was all dry now! And yes, because it was called in Mom had to do a writeup and a file on it. She had to file paperwork because of this woman's stupidity.

 

To this day alot of her coworkers who remember that case fondly laugh about it. Some other company now owns the rights to sell and manufacture Desenex so now they get those calls.

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People who are ignorant, know they're ignorant, and don't care.

At this point, don't said ignorant people fall into the "stupid" category?

Nah, "stupid" people have an excuse; they just don't know any better. The "ignoramuses" in question should just be shot!

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People who are ignorant, know they're ignorant, and don't care.

At this point, don't said ignorant people fall into the "stupid" category?

Nah, "stupid" people have an excuse; they just don't know any better. The "ignoramuses" in question should just be shot!

Ahh, guess that's the difference in philosophy there.

 

I've always considered "stupid" what you described. Typically even if a person is "slow", as Spartan put it, they can at least get to the point where they realize they don't know something.

 

Or put another way, in the words of one of the wise men of a company I worked at....

 

IF one knows, and knows that he knows... follow him, for he is wise.

 

If one does not know, but knows that he does not know... Teach him, for he can learn.

 

If one does not know, and does not know that he does not know...

Avoid him, for his is a fool.

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People who think "Ok so it's a one way street and I'm driving the wrong way. But my car is facing the right direction (idiot is backing), and I'm driving REALLY FAST getting it over with quickly so the cops are less likely to catch me. So I guess it's OK." These guys I really hate. Seems to follow the logic:

Driving a car is dangerous, so if I drive really fast I minimize the time spent in the car. IDIOTS

 

Kim

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Here's the top of my list ...

 

Buying a new PC game the day it comes out and having it not work until the patch is released two weeks later. Why don't they just release it when it's done? The last 3 games I've bought have been like this...

 

Spending all day on the phone with tech support who tell you it's your ISP...then spending all day with your ISP telling you that it's your firewall manufacturer...then spending the rest of the day with about 8 different Voice mail Routers just to end up back at the tech support guy who tells you to call your ISP.

 

Priceless.

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Top of my list so far is the truck driver yesterday who delivered our seasonal merchandise. We have never had a driver like this one at our store yet.

 

First the guy goes to the wrong Dock. He goes down to Borders next door and then wonders why no one answers.

 

Next he finally parks out back of our store but still has no idea that the only loading dock on our store is ours! (duh!) (Note time was 10:30 AM)

 

So he goes up front and in incredibly broken English with a Russian accent tries to tell the Front End Supervisor who is so desperately trying to understand him that he wonders if he is at the right store. Somehow she got across to him it was the right store, and she pages me to receiving. I get back there and look around. No driver. Turns out he stood up at Customer service just staring at the Front End Supervisor and she had to explain to him to go to the stockroom. His reply, "Office, office?"

 

Anyways he makes it back to the stockroom. The guy is wearing suitpants and a polo shirt. You don't unload trucks with those clothes. Top this off with it smelled like he did not know what deodorant was. So he goes and points at the roll up door, "This dock?" I nodded, "Yes this is our Dock." He looks at me funny, "Round back?" I nod and he goes and manages to get the truck into the dock fairly quickly.

 

He helps me set up the rollers and he seems to have this slight attitude that because I'm a woman I shouldn't have to lift heavy items. Good grief. OK, the rest of the employees who help unload the truck arrive and we start unloading. Mind you I have to be up on the truck with this foul smelling person.

 

Now and then normally we have to stop putting freight on the rollers so those in the stockroom can catch up with those of us unloading onto the rollers. Well I would tell this guy to stop or hold up and he would just keep putting freight on the belt. It occured to me he probably didn't understand a word I was saying. So I went down the belt, and put my body between the heavier freight that was coming down, to keep it from plowing over our floral department manager who is this frail old woman near 70 years old. (She reads the stock labels on the boxes and then directs them to whoever is in charge of that particular kind of freight. This entails also stopping the boxes that are coming at her down the rollers at a fairly good clip because the truck is on an incline.) I had to do this on and off for most of the unloading, because the word "Stop" meant nothing to him. (Does he know what a Stop sign means???)

 

This went on for over two hours as most of the truck was for our store. Finally we finish and he helps take down the rollers. He doesn't comprehend half of what I am telling him and starts loading the rollers wrong against the wall where we keep them. After this everyone leaves to go start on their various stocking endeavors. I have paperwork I have to give him. I fill it out and hand it to him. He hands it back and says, "Write time arrive leave." So I wrote it down as arrive 10:30 and leave 1:20. He proceeds to yell at me because he claims he was there at 10:15. I'm sorry sitting at a different store's dock is not being at my store at that time. He starts getting more incoherent the more he argues. I told him, "10:30 is the time you arrived, and is the time you were supposed to arrive, end of story!" He says something that I make out as him threatening me with him calling his dispatcher. I wanted to laugh. First off, him and his Dispatcher do not work for Michaels, they are contracted out to bring our freight to us. So anything he says to his dispatcher falls on deaf ears anyways if he does call him/her. I told him that the time is not late, he was arguing it was. Somehow I got him to finally understand that 10:30 was ok and that I usually don't have to write the time on the paperwork, and he left.

 

He had me so pissed off though that I wrote distribution (who WILL contact the contracted freight carrier) and told them that I never wanted to see that driver at the store again. I explained to them the problem and believe me, they WILL take care of it.

 

I have no problem with people who are putting their best effort forward to trying to communicate with me in English, I will try my best to listen and make out what they are saying. But I got the very distinct impression he could barely READ English which makes me wonder if he can even read the road signs! If he couldn't read the sign on the outside door that says "Michaels Receiving" (In HUGE red lettering.) and goes down to Borders and parks his truck, he cannot read English. This gets me to also wondering if he was actually legally employed because he made some comment to me that without the times written on the sheet he wouldn't get paid. I don't have to do that with our regular drivers.

 

Correct me if I am wrong but isn't a basic knowledge of English required for obtaining your Green card or a Visa to work in the US? I'm not expecting fluency by any means, but at least a simple grasp of the basics would be nice. :blink:

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