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Have you heard this one?


Lady Tam
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Here's a couple I just remembered !!

 

How do you kill a blonde?

 

Spikes in her shoulder pads.

 

 

How do you drown a blonde?

 

Put a mirror at the bottom of the swimming pool.

 

 

WARNING: TASTELESS JOKE AHEAD !!

 

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!

 

VERY TASTELESS, I ASSURE YOU !!

 

 

 

 

 

 

What's the difference between a blonde and a dead animal in the road?

 

There are tire skid marks in front of the animal.

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This one's a bit longer.

 

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are sitting at a bar when they overhear the bartender talking about a magic mirror in the women's restroom.  "You look into the mirror, blink three times, and then speak about yourself," the bartender says.  "If you speak truthfully, the mirror grants you a wonderful gift, but if you lie, you vanish, never to be seen again."

 

Not long after hearing this, the brunette stands up, goes to the women's restroom, finds the mirror, blinks three times, and says, "I think I was the most intelligent woman at the bar."  Immediately she finds a check in hand, addressed to her, for $1,000,000.  Ecstatic, she runs out to spend the money.

 

A moment later the redhead goes into the restroom, finds the mirror, blinks three times, and says, "I think I was the most fun and outgoing woman at the bar."  Immediately she finds a set of car keys to a new Ferrari parked outside.  Ecstatic, she runs out for a drive.

 

A moment later the blonde goes into the restroom, finds the mirror, blinks three times, and says, "I think-" and immediately vanishes forever.

 

Infinity

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O.K. I see the trend, pick on blondes huh?

 

 Do you know what a blondes mating call is?

 "I am sooo drunk."

 

 Do you know what the mating call of an ungly fat blonde is?

 "I SAID I was SO drunk!"

 

 Do you know what the mating call of a red head is?

  "Next!"

 

 and not to forget the brunettes...

 Do you know what the mating call of a brunette is?

 "Is that [email protected]#n blonde gone yet!"

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So this British couple was visiting Communist Russia once, and the sky was grey.

 

"It's raining," said the man.

"It's sleet" said the woman.

 

And so they argued for some time.  Finally, they asked a local party official what the precipitation was.

 

"It's rain", said Rudolph.

 

"It's sleet!" insisted the woman.

 

Replied the husband: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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Okay, this is math intensive, so some folks might want to skip it, but I quite like the whole thing.  (My profoundest apologies to those of the female gender.)

 

The Proof

 

We all know that women require time and money:  Women = (Time)x(money)

 

And in our day and age, time IS money:  Time = Money

 

Thus, by the Substitution Principle of Equality:  Women = (Money)x(Money)

 

And, using the properties of exponents:  Women = (Money)^2

 

Now, it has been said that Money is the Root of All Evil:  Money = (Evil)^(1/2)

 

And thus, by Substitution once again, we say:  Women = ((Evil)^(1/2))^2

 

Which, simplified, gives us:  Women = Evil

 

Hey, my wife (Masters Degree in Mathematics) likes it even more than I do!

 

Okay, I'll shut up... :p

 

Infinity

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