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Have you heard this one?


Lady Tam
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"Frodo, there's elvis script on my sword"

"Mine too, Sam. What's yours say?"

"Dude! Whats yours say?"

"Sweet. What's yours say?"

"Dude! What's yours say?"

"Sweet. What's yours say?"

"Dude! What's yours say?"

"Sweet. What's yours say?"

"Dude! What's yours say?"

 

 

.....

 

 

 

"Idiotssess!"

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Subject: The trucker

 

 

 

          As a trucker stops for a red light, a blond catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker

lowers the window and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

 

 The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.

 

      As if they've never spoken, the blonde says

brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!"

 

 Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

 

       All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up and knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

 

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and

runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Iowa and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK.

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A cowboy staggers through the door to the saloon. His ear is half ripped off, he has a black eye, a couple of teeth missing and a severe limp.

 "Ned, what in blazes happened to you? You look like you've been run over by a train, "says the bartender.

 "Wal," croaks Ned, I got into a tussle with Ricky Jones."

  The bartender is agape. "Ricky Jones, why that little pipsqueak couldn'a done that to you unless he had somethin' powerful in his hands!" he exclaims.

  "Yup, he had a shovel," Allows Ned.

  Says the barkeep, "But didn't you have nothin' in your hands?"

  "Yup," Says Ned "I had his wife in my hands, and a sweet thing she is to hold, but she ain't worth nothin' in a fight."

LT

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. Finally they decided to swim across the 100 mile ocean to their home. On the day they swam the brunette swam 25 miles and drowned. The red head swam 50 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 75 miles, got tired, and swam back.    

 

LT

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So this blonde lady hears on the morning radio show that since it snowed  last night, the city asks the people to park their car on the left side of the street so that they can clean it up. Lady gets up and moves her car.

 

Next day, the radio says that people now need to move their car to the right side of the street so that the snow removal effort could continue. Lady gets up and moves her car.

 

Third day of this snow storm, radio tell the people to again move their car to the left side. Lady gets annoyed and tell her husband:" I'm getting fed up of moving my car every day! Will this never stop!"

 

And the husband to answer: "Why don't you leave the car in the driveway for a change?"

 

Parking is a real problem around here in the winter :)

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A man named JJ was driving down the road one day when he saw this duck walking along the road. JJ stopped and pick the duck up and put him in the front seat with him. Then drove off. The duck was looking out the window when JJ passed a policeman, which come after JJ and stopped him. The officer said JJ had to take that duck to the zoo. JJ agreed so off they went. The next day JJ went out driving again and took the duck along. And again the duck was looking out the window and passed the same policeman. Which stopped JJ again. He said to JJ "I told you yesterday that you had to take that duck to the zoo " JJ responded politely, " Yes I know officer you did. And I took him to the zoo. Today I am taking him to the ballgame. "
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Viking Lodge probably knows all about these jokes....

 

 

Olly and Lena decide to move out of the woods and into town. Once they're in town, Olly decides to open a tavern. One day, a Rahbi, a priest, a minister, a blonde, and a three legged one eyed dog named lucky walk into the bar. Olly says "what is? some kind of a joke??!!"

 

 

nagh-nagh-nagh!

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