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Well, I leave for bootcamp tomorrow


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I didn't even realize you guys were expecting. A few words of Advice:

 

1) Unless the baby is shrieking in pain, your wife is NEVER doing it wrong.

 

2) Have fun. The first couple of weeks can be tough on your sleep cycles, and to paraphrase Gabe (from Penny Arcade) all they are for the first couple of months is a sleeping, eating poop factory that requires almost hourly maintenance. Once the personality starts to show itself, though, you will forget all about that and enjoy this little person who holds your heart (and thus your wallet) in their little hand.

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Ok I know this is unsolicited advice but I do this to all new parents.

 

1. The first three months are the worst. This is not a jab at child bearing. This where you will get your sea legs for being a new parent. After three months it gets better. I promise.

 

2. A crying baby will never cry out of spite or just to get you angry. Although I know that a few people that may disagree with me.

 

This one is optional because it deals with medication.

 

3. If a baby has a fever and is not holding anything down. Get a suppository. The product name is "Fever All" and there is one for infants. It works in twenty minutes and takes a fever out at the knees. No one ever told us about this option. This could have ended many stressed filled days.

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1) Unless the baby is shrieking in pain, your wife is NEVER doing it wrong.

And, conversely:

 

Ladies, if the baby isn't shrieking in pain, daddy is not doing it wrong.

 

<rant on>

 

I am a stay-at-home dad, and thus, the primary caregiver of our son (who is almost a year old - how that time flies!). If he is crying in public, my wife will get sympathetic looks when she tries to soothe him - and I get condescending ones.

 

There is nothing magical about women that inherently makes them better at taking care of kids. Moms and dads may have different methods, but that doesn't mean that one is inherently wrong or better than the other.

 

</rant off>

 

The first weeks are the roughest, but by the end of the first month, things have started to settle down, and if you are really lucky, baby will sleep through the "night" by 8 weeks. (We got Kevin to do it by waking him up for a bottle at midnight - then he would sleep until 5 or 6. Glorious!)

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Jeez, the Hexxlette is almost 16 months now. I don't even know if I'd remember how to take care of a newborn. They change so fast that your skills for one stage are supplanted by new skills without really sinking in.

 

Here's some advice. If your wife is breastfeeding, and she wants you to get up in the middle of the night when she does to feed the baby, tell her to fly a kite. Why should you both be exhausted in the morning? She can nap later when the baby is asleep (if you're at work) or while you take care of it during the day.

 

Of course, this rule changes when the baby can take a bottle and you both need to work, or she works the next day and you don't.

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Don't let any relatives stay at your house when the kid is born. They stay at a hotel. Don't let them visit for more than a couple hours. Especially if she's breastfeeding.

Now, see, I would have given the opposite advice. My wife's parents came for part of the first week, and it really helped. Her mom took care of random household chores (like cooking and laundry) and her dad watched TV. Now, we did have the ground rule of "No interference with our parenting", with the understanding that meddling meant finding a hotel room.

 

YMMV, naturally.

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having had both sides of that happen, stayed with us and stayed at a hotel, I think it really does depend on the relatives in each case.

 

my mom came and it was great. my mother-in-came and it was great. they both stayed with us, different kids births. no problems at all.

 

my folks, my sister and a tag-a-long came and stayed with us. it sucked. too many people disrupting the routine we tried to make and expectations of being entertained. They should have been in a hotel. Other family staying at the hotel, came over for brief visits, ran the errands for us, took the older kid out for special time, was wonderful.

 

the numbers and expectations you know they'll have make all the difference in my opinion.

 

If your wife is breastfeeding, and she wants you to get up in the middle of the night when she does to feed the baby, tell her to fly a kite. Why should you both be exhausted in the morning?

 

sure the nap during the day part works if you have kids that nap, but when it isn't the first child, or there is a pet that demands attention or a house to keep, a nap doesn't always fit into the day. some days I was so happy to see hubby come home just so I could get a shower.

 

our system was daddy got up, changed the diaper then handed him off to me for the nursing. that way the sleep deprevation was minimal for both of us.

 

with children the only absolute is you need to love them unconditionally.

remember to breathe and everything else will work it self out.

 

have fun at booties camp.

 

cher :upside:

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We had Mrs. Hex's parents and grandma. We were having to entertain on first day back from the hospital. Super sucky. They're insane. They were staying in a hotel, but were just over constantly. My mom came down right away and took care of the pets while we were in the hospital. It would have been fine if it was just her, but she left the day we came home.

 

On top of everything, breastfeeding wasn't going well and were disappearing into the bedroom every half-hour to hour to work on that.

 

So I'll revise. Tell the annoying relatives to wait a week, one or two sane relatives or parents would probably be ok.

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My older kids are a little old to be rocked, but I still find myself swaying gently back and forth while trying to stand still -- especially if I'm watching someone else holding their baby. You dads all know what I'm talkin' about.

 

Can't wait to do it again. Being a father is the best responsibility I ever took on, right after marrying Heidi.

 

Have fun with your camp! Sounds like great fun.

 

kit

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My older kids are a little old to be rocked, but I still find myself swaying gently back and forth while trying to stand still -- especially if I'm watching someone else holding their baby. You dads all know what I'm talkin' about.

I do.

 

I caught myself doing this with roll of paper towels the other day while talking to my wife. :lol:

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