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Ramblings on.


Unglef
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1. Led Zeppelin never made a bad record.

2. If you stab yourself in the neck with a piece of wood, stitches are not required.

3. Diesel fuel is not a good substitute for lighter fluid in a Zippo.

4. Beer is good.

5. Time is the most precious non-renewable resource.

6. Huffing dry-erase markers will lead to bad times for everyone.

7. I was born with an old soul, and that is not bad.

8. All animals taste good with gravy.

9. The Deep South is not the best place to live for someone who loves cold weather and hates humidity. (But I can't bring myself to leave.)

10. I never knew what friends were until I turned 19.

11. If you lend your deadbeat neighbor money, she will steal your tax refund check.

12. Tequilla, tomato juice, and ginger ale do not a good drink make.

13. Vomiting is one way your body tells you you're an idiot.

14. Stevie Ray Vaughan was the greatest guitarist ever.

15. NASCAR is boring.

16. Never tell your second grade teacher she is crazy. She WILL beat you until both of her arms get tired.

17. People in masks (or costumes, for that matter) cannot be trusted.

18. Racist, sexist, ageist, and all other discriminatory -ists are just other ways to describe complete morons.

19. A Bachelor's degree really doesn't mean much anymore.

20. When you live by yourself, nobody cares if you make muffins at two in the morning.

21. Insomnia leads to a loss of a sense of time.

22. Comic books are underrated as an art form.

23. Robert E. Howard was a great author.

24. Larry McMurtry was a pessimist.

25. There's nothing wrong with being a jackass.

26. Vinyl sounds better than CDs.

27. There should have never been a Rocky III (or IV and V, for that matter).

28. Knowing lines from The Princess Bride is a good way to pick up girls.

29. Techno sucks.

30. An AC/DC concert will make your ears ring for two days. (Slash's Snakepit opened for them. I got to hear Slash and Angus Young in the same night. Envy me.)

31. Learning to read is the greatest thing one can accomplish.

32. Painting miniatures is both the most relaxing and frustrating thing ever invented.

33. Beating someone into unconciousness is a good way to get people to leave you the @#!& alone in high school. (He hit me first.)

34. The words "normal" and "sane" should be stricken from all languages. Who has the right to judge either?

35. I like Counting Crowes, and the Spin Doctors. I do not apologize for this.

36. Spike Lee is very angry.

37. A 1975 Saab 99 will break down on you. Frequently.

38. A brick costs $10.13.

39. When K-Mart says they'll never hire you again, they mean it.

40. Sardines are a good substitute for real food.

41. Being broke doesn't make you a loser.

42. Hobby knives are good for self-surgification.

43. The drunker you are, the louder everything gets.

44. Chocolate milk, ibuprofen, Gatorade, and greasy food are good for hangovers.

45. Bon Scott is the greatest Rock-n-Roll vocalist of all time.

46. "Sister Luck" by The Black Crowes is the best song ever.

47. VH1: Behind the Music is a very repetitive show.

48. Hardhats suck.

49. Grape soda rules.

50. The SAT is not a good measure of intelligence.

51. D&D is possibly the greatest means of self expression.

52. "Reality" shows are not realistic at all.

53. The right speaker is always the first to go.

54. Being funny is more important than being right,

55. If people don't like you, they're not worth knowing.

56. John Bonham was the greatest drummer ever.

57. Rap music is an oxymoron.

58. High school football leads to bad knees.

59. Humphrey Bogart was the coolest person ever, next to Jesus.

60. Garage sales have nothing to do with the selling of garages.

61. Bruce Springsteen is the worlds greatest songwriter

62. Life is he ultimate form of on-the-job training, you learn as you go.

 

 

 

 

I have no idea why I felt the need to post this list. Everything was either experienced or observed by me. I hope I didn't offend anybody.

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Ok, ok, I owe you five minutes. You hereby have five minutes of my time. Use them well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Gaaaah, a guy pours his heart out, and he catches flak......and frowny-faces. ::D: )

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Arrrrrrrrright Unglef.. where the heck are my muffins! I care..really I do!

 

my observations thusfar (abridged for your protection)

 

Fast food is usually neither.

Dial-up is such a silly term since no phones have dials on them anymore.

The do-rag is a vastly underappreciated and misunderstood form of headgear.

Plastic spoon-fork combinations should be referred to as "halforks"

It is fun to go to KFC, eat some chicken, and then comment "Wow..tastes like alligator!"

Dark chocolate goes very nicely with Miller Highlife beer.

Radio stations spent entirely too much time talking about how few commercials they play.

Daylight-Savings-Time is a silly term. We aren't actually saving anything. In fact we use MORE daylight during that time.

My Microsoft spellchecker has a rather interesting word to replace "ogre".

Cat food should be made in flavours cats REALLY love..like bird..or mouse.

Sneezing on the monitor makes lots of pretty little rainbows.

AOL is a silly term. Shouldn't it be AO? After all, "online" is one word.

People are crazy. They gripe about the price of gas while they're paying five dollars for a tall Starbuck's cafe-latte.

Moths aren't COMPLETELY stupid..or else the species would have died off millions of years ago from forlorn attempts to fly into the moon.

Eggplant looks absolutely NOTHING like eggs.

In my humble opinion, pyrite is prettier than gold.

Even CUPCAKES can be part of a complete breakfast.

nly stpd ppl cht wtht vwls.

Monday is a state of mind. Just ask any girl who has thursdays off how she feels about fridays.

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