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Thought that this might be appreciated :)


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I found this on another board and thought that you all might think that this was humorous as I did! :)


Here you go:

(it seems long.. but once you start reading it.. it really isn't ) :)





I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the

phone rang.


ME: Hello.


AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ...


ME: Is this AT&T?


AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....


ME: This is AT&T?


AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....


ME: Is this AT&T?


AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please?


ME: May I ask who is calling?


AT&T: This is AT&T.


ME: Ok, hold on.


At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking

that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my

salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were

still waiting.


ME: Hello?


AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?


ME: May I ask who is calling, please?


AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...


ME: This is AT&T?


AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...


ME: The phone company?


AT&T: Yes, sir.


ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.


AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.


ME: I already have a phone.


AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to

offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,

365 days a year.


ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?


AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest)

Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!


ME: 7 days a week?


AT&T: That's right.


ME: 365 days a year?


AT&T: Yes, sir.


ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That is amazing!


AT&T: We think so!


ME: That's quite a sum of money!


AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.


ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big

one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send

an annual check, can I get a cash advance?


AT&T: Excuse me?


ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.


AT&T: What are you talking about?


ME: You said you would give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day,

7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day,

$1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I am just interested in

knowing how you will be making payment.


AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we would be paying you. You pay us

10 cents a minute.


ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you will

give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute?

Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I have

read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.


AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...


ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?


AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.


ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!


AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.


At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.




ME: Yeth?


SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents

a minute program.


ME: Is This A T & T?


SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.


ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could

do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to

produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone

to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.


SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who

was helping you.


ME: Thank you.


I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to

end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite

voice at the other end of the phone.


AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in

signing up for our plan?


ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family"

thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a

little brother...


AT&T: click........

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At least you got a real person, I am getting more and more recorded messages...


I used to wonder why people got all upset over telemarketers, since I rarely ever got a call from them.


However, I must have recently gotten on some sort of list and I get about a call a day from them, usually at some inopportune time.


Sadly, I would actually welcome a call about cheap long distance. I could probably talk them into a better deal, judging from the deal I talked them into when I cancelled my phone once (5 cents a minute and a $30 gift certificate, but I was moving into an appartment that already had a phone - and long distance blocked). Instead I get calls about refinancing my mortgage (I don't have one, I own my house) or asking me to donate to yet ANOTHER police association (I did foolishly agree to the first one before realising there are at least 4 of them, so I know why I'm on their lists).

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that is one reason why my wife & I have no long distance carrier, we make like 1 long distance phone call every 2 months maybe if that. we use the 10 10 # for any long distance, saved us a bundle of cash over the years.



funny stuff, might have to paste & copy that to a feind of mine. He hates AT&T


Randy M

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We recently switched to Time Warner's cable phone. Our phone bill/long distance went from about $80+ a month to $30, flat fee.


I'm waiting for AT&T or SWB to start calling to beg for us back. Actually, anyone. If I can get someone down to $10 a month, unlimited long distance (my husband's family lives out of state, my father is long distance, my mom's sister is long distance, and I can call and talk to the ReaperPeeps for as long as I want to :devil: ), I'd be thrilled. I doubt anyone would be willing to put me on that kind of lifelong plan, though.

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I've seen that story before via emails or whatever. I don't believe that ever happened. It all seems so well thought out, or the guy who answers is REALLY quick on his feet. Plus, he'd have to be quite the math whiz to calculate right off the bat how much the 10 cents a minute would amount to in a year.

But it really is freaking funny. I like doing this stuff to telemarketers too.

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I'm not that fanciful. My conversations with telemarketing people usually goe like this:


Salesman: "Hello I'd like to speak to..."

Me: *Click*

(usually you hear by the tone of voice that it is a salesman)

I have NO patience with them.

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Hello, may I speak with Java Fiend?

This is Java Fiend.

Hello sir, my name is Jonathan...

What are wearing, Jonathan? Are you alone? What color are your eyes?


How tall are you? Do you have blond hair? I love blond hair.



No, I haven't done it but I would love to try. ::D:

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Generally I just hang up on them. Rarely is it difficult to tell they are a telemarketer and not someone I or my wife knows. First big clue is they call me by my "official" name rather than what I go by or they butcher the pronunciation of my wife's name, in which case I know it's not someone she would want to talk to. Yeah, the do not call list helped some, but I think they still can call twice or something like that...

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Yup, when I'm called "Marsha" or they use my Polish maiden name (and butcher it) I know it's someone who doesn't know me.


Caller ID is a wonderful thing. "Out of Area" or "Unknown Number" don't get answered. Ever.

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