Why it's great to be a guy

[Spartan6]

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

 

You know stuff about tanks.

 

A five day holiday requires only one suitcase.

 

You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.

 

Your toilet lines are 80% shorter.

 

You can open all your own jars.

 

Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

 

Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.

 

When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

 

A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

 

Men in hockey masks don't attack you.

 

You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

 

You can go to the restroom without a support group.

 

Your last name stays put.

 

You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

 

When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

 

You can kill your own food.

 

The garage/shed is all yours.

 

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

 

You never have to clean the toilet.

 

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

 

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

 

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

 

Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

 

None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

 

 

 

 

[Hexxenhammer]

You can pee standing up.

[twjolson]

We don't fall in the toliet, because WE CHECK FIRST!

[Froggy the Great]

I'd say the hockey thing is only true if you're not actually a hockey player.

[smokingwreckage]

No-one will be snide if you wear shoes tailored for practicality and comfort.

 

No-one will be snide if you wear EVERYTHING tailored for practicality and comfort.

 

You can hawk-spit, belch, fart and scratch your bum with close to total freedom.

 

You don't HAVE to know how to keep house. It's an asset, but not a moral imperative.

 

You may have to shave your face, but that's it. No waxing. No tweezers. No bikini-line.

 

You don't have to say "Oh I musn't" or "I really shouldn't" before eating something you knew you were going to anyway, and "musn't" and "shouldn't" be d**ned.

[CuCulain42]

None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

This one ain't true for some of the places I've worked.

[Sergeant_Crunch]

Only owning a couple of shoes, and each set for a specific activity (i.e. one pair running shoes, one pair dress shoes, one pair work boots)

[Kheprera]

You know, not all of the above is true for all women.

 

I own maybe four pairs of shoes. A pair of boots, a pair of sandals, some dress pumps, and sneakers.

 

My showers tend to be shorter than my husband's. I don't wear makeup or "do my hair," so just a quick comb-through and I'm pretty much done.

 

Wash and wear is the only way to go. I've got Dry Clean only on some clothes, but they've yet to be taken to the cleaners even though they need it. It's been that way for close to five years now.

 

I hate talking on the phone.

 

All of the power tools are mine.

 

Although the bag of useful stuff comes in handy (even if mine is small). Seriously, sometimes you need a d6 to decide if you want the ribeye and lobster, or stuffed crab with Mahi Mahi.

[skavenbabe]

Seriously, sometimes you need a d6 to decide if you want the ribeye and lobster, or stuffed crab with Mahi Mahi.

mmmmm.... you made me hungry.

 

I would have to say most of those reasons are probably why all my friends are men!

[Qwyksilver]

Having three older brothers means that most of those do not apply to my wife.

[Sergeant_Crunch]

I know plenty of women who know stuff about tanks, but that probably has more to do with the line of work I'm in.

 

anyway, back on topic: Beer is a major food group

[Froggy the Great]

Though sometimes I have to wonder... Why can't women ever learn to leave the seat UP?

[Qwyksilver]

Food is perfectly fine eaten cold for breakfast, even if it was warm last night at dinner.

 

Canned food comes in it's own convenient bowl. No cleaning. Just heat and serve.

 

If you can make mac and cheese from a box, and add sliced up hot dogs, your friends consider you a gourmet.

 

Food spilled on the floor is for the dog to clean up, not a mop.

 

When life stops for 6 hours every Sunday from September through February, it's expected.

[Ranzadule]

Our significant other would never want us to make out with a member of our sex to turn her on.

 

Emotion doesn't cloud our thinking nearly as much.

 

The porn industry caters to us.

[benhamtroll]

Food is perfectly fine eaten cold for breakfast, even if it was warm last night at dinner.

ACTUALLY . . . there's been many a time that I've come downstairs in the morning to find my wife furtively gnawing on a piece of steak or roast from the night before.