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Tommy's keeping very quiet about this


Smokin'
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So, England are about to win the Ashes for the first time in 18 years and the once invincible Australian juggernaut is coming off the rails and apart at the seams. With even the English weather playing it's part, it's looking like curtains for Ponting and Warnie et al.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ps. It's cricket, btw.

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::D:

 

Hmm, yeah, won't mean much to Americans. Probably doesn't mean much to most of us Canadians, either, but then again we never went to war with England.

 

Note that there's an excellent Quebecois (that's French for "from Quebec," kids) film called "La Grande Seduction" about this tiny little Quebec village that hasn't had a full-time doctor in residence for a long while and that, subsequently, embarks on the "seduction" of this doctor who is sent to their village temporarily. Anyway, the doctor is a big cricket fan and the townsfolk -- who, real Canadians, live and breathe hockey and know nothing about cricket -- pretend as though they have a thriving cricket passion. One scene has them all in the local bar watching a cricket match; the townsfolk struggle wonderfully to feign interest and knowledge; when the doctor goes to the toilet they switch over to the hockey game and their genuine excitement appears; the doctor returns and has found their cheering to be infectious: he wants to know what just happened. Meanwhile, back on the hastily returned to cricket match, the only thing going on is some boring (even for cricket) rules or strategy discussion. The doctor can't figure them out.

 

It's a blast.

 

Anyway, congrats to England. You've got the colour commentary down, too, by the way, Smokin'. :B):

 

-- Flow

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Standard Cricket is a maximum of 5 days. There is a variant called 1 day cricket...(which takes 1 day).

 

In basic terms cricket works like this.

 

One guy throws a ball at another guy, who tries to hit it.

If the ball hits the wooden poles behind the batter, he's out. If the batter hits it and a fielder catches it before it hits the ground, he's out.

If the batter hits it, he then runs down a line to a set of wooden poles at the other end. (And another guy does the same, opposite direction.). If he makes it, it is a Run. (He scores)

 

You score as many runs as possible without getting out. When you do get out, someone replaces you. Once ten guys are out, your innings finishes and the other team does it.

Each team gets 2 goes at batting.

 

Of course, the main reason this is so news worthy is that I dont remeber the last time England won this game. I would have been 6 years old...and not watching cricket.

 

Maybe we should post a topic better explaining cricket to these uneducated Americans Tommy. :poke:

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    Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.

 

    Rule Two: Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player and clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.

 

    Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall round them.

 

    The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what's going on leads them to imagine that it's a lot more exciting than it actually is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting history.

 

    Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the walls for the players. Anything will do - cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.

 

    Rule five: The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a 'hit' on another player, he should immediately run away and apologize from a safe distance.

 

    Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.

 

    Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.

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I would like to come to the defense of myself. I LOVE cricket. I know that seems odd but it is really fun to play. Maybe not the best spectator sport, but...neither is basketball in my opinion. :upside:

And the reason for this defense. I am an American, born and raised in Montana. Not only do I know what it is but I know how to play.

 

Does this earn some points for the Americans?

 

PLEASE???!!! ::D:

 

*giggles*

 

:blink: This is bizzare. This is probably the first time cricket has come up in my life in quite some time. My dad and I used to stay up late to listen to matches on his shortwave radio. He even got me a Suridge South Africa Sweatshirt when I was like 10. I was wearing it yesterday.

 

 

Hey good luck to them.

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