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I've been inducted into D&D


Bill_Adcock
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I've joined a D&D group in my dorm building. We're actually a much larger party than usual, being (originally) a human sorceror, a gnome artificer, a human druid (that's me!), a half-orc barbarian and a half-elf ultrakung-fu monk. Last session we picked up a human fighter and an elf thief. We are now a seven-member party, plus the DM and the half-orc barbarian's girlfriend, who keeps track of initiative for us. That's 9 people. We no longer fit in a dorm room, we have to comandeer a study lounge.

 

Originally, the gnome was the main source of irritation for the party. My druid actually went up to the half-orc barbarian and said, "you know, as a druid I can make jerky out of *anything*. How does gnome jerky sound to you?" even though, as Lawful Neutral, this was totally out of character. But now the human fighter is our chief annoyance. We rescued his butt from orcish jail, and then he asks why he should trust us. Then he turned around and tried to take over command of the party. Gnomes I could eat, but a human druid making jerky out of a human fighter...then it's cannibalism and I'm not cool with that.

 

Our half-orc barbarian, LOGARTH THE CONQUERER!! as his name is listed on his character sheet, is comic relief and mindless destruction. Not mindless; he has an Intelligence score of 11. However, he's played with this goofy Incredible Hulk voice and whenever something bad happens, his reaction causes laughter. Case in point: We're escaping from hundreds of orcs in a horse-drawn wagon, down a muddy path in sheeting rain. I'm driving because my druid is the only one with Handle Animal. I fail a check by 1, briefly lose control of the cart, and everyone has to make a reflex save. Logarth and I are the only ones who fail. I'm thrown from my seat to the back of the cart; Logarth is thrown completely out of the cart. Making another reflex roll, he manages to catch the edge of the cart with one hand. "LOGARTH WANT HIS MOMMY!!" he bellows. The half-elf monk pulls him back into the cart, but as he's doing so a goblin mounted on a warg rides up and shoots Logarth in the butt with an arrow. And who is the only one with Cure Light Wounds memorized? The druid, of course. So Logarth is laying in the back of the cart, curled into a ball and whimpering, while I try and find a safe place to spend the night. THEN I have to pull the arrow out of his butt and cure him. Which, according to the DM, involves placing my hands on the afflicted area.

 

So now, because Logarth's voice is so funny, we all imitate it every chance we get, especially when Chris (who plays Logarth) does something.

 

Chris: "Aw, crud, I spilled my drink on myself."

Everyone else: "LOGARTH SPILL JUICE ON SELF! NOW WHAT LOGARTH TO DO???"

 

Chris: "I'll be right back, I just have to run to the bathroom real quick."

Everyone else: "LOGARTH HAVE TO GO POTTY!!!!!"

 

(Chris's girlfriend Kate has wrapped herself around him and whispers something in his ear.)

Willie (who plays the sorceror): Logarth, what do you have in your backpack?"

Chris: "UH...KITTY?"

Willie: "Logarth, what did we say about pets?"

Chris: "LOGARTH NO CAN HAVE PETS. BUT LOGARTH WANT KITTY!!"

Willie: "Maybe you can have a kitty after we find the women and children the orcs kidnapped."

Chris: "OKAYYY..."

 

And we roll well on the stupidest things, and poorly other times. Logarth, after bluffing his way into a goblin camp by pretending to be a full-blooded orc, rolls to shove a goblin out of his way contemptuously. He rolls a 20 and the DM says, "you know what...the goblin bursts like an water balloon filled with strawberry jam." And then we he rolls to attack an orc who's drunk itself into semi-consciousness, he rolls really badly and his double-handed battle axe bounces off the orc's primitive leather armor. I roll a 17 to hit a 4-foot long spider with my sling and kill it easily. I roll to attack a goblin, miss with my sickle and get clocked in the face with the goblin's crude wooden club.

 

 

Who else has this sort of craziness go on in their D&D games?

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Some people are serious about their D&D, some aren't.

 

One time, the players were defending a caravan from orc raiders...and not doing so well. Two of the NPC caravan guards rush in to help and all the players groan that they're going to be killed. The NPCs promptly roll two critical hits and kill two orcs. From then on, the players always ask for more caravan guards to help.

 

Some amusing quotes from my games:

 

What is my Dire Bat doing?... I'd say it would be sleeping with me.

 

Monk: "I've taken a vow of namelessnes"

 

Player: "Do I get an extra attack if I bite?"

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We are now a seven-member party, plus the DM and the half-orc barbarian's girlfriend, who keeps track of initiative for us.

 

::o:

 

Have you been keeping tabs on the Off-topic "Worst date experiences" thread? Maybe, for the sake of this evidently tenuously held together adventuring party, you don't want to let the half-orc barbarian's girlfriend know about it. :lol:

 

My roommate is deeply serious about his D&D. And I do mean serious. Like, you don't want to be confused about a rule when you're playing with him cuz he'll stop play and dig out the books, man. Me, I just like to make up stories with friendly people, as long as the minis are around.

 

-- Flow

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I still play regularly (every other Wednesday and one Sunday a month) with the same gaming group started up my sophomore (most of them were Freshmen) year of college. 12+ years and counting with the same group. Some of us have moved out of state, but will still trek down periodically for a weekend and either run an integral NPC or have a cameo appearance with one of their existing characters.

 

We've changed campaigns about 4 times total since then. We ran the same campaign the entire 4 years of college (I was on a 5 year plan :devil: ). Unfotunately only one character survived until the end, and it wasn't the DM's girlfriend either (now his wife). We've had three marriages out of the group (one was actually last weekend!).

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We had a hafforc. We had an adventure where we had a battle right freekin' next to a portal to the Abyss.

 

One thing led to another, including the hafforc dropping his (velveteen, but that's another story) trousers, piddling through the portal, and the subsequent appearance of 10 floating heads, two Night Mares, and a Night Hag.

 

So yes. Yes we do.

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We had a hafforc. We had an adventure where we had a battle right freekin' next to a portal to the Abyss.

 

One thing led to another, including the hafforc dropping his (velveteen, but that's another story) trousers, piddling through the portal, and the subsequent appearance of 10 floating heads, two Night Mares, and a Night Hag.

 

So yes. Yes we do.

 

Now, you KNOW I'm going to have to share that with the group on Friday.

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Welcome to the cult!! ::D:

 

My gaming group has plenty of silly moments, but a recent one fresh in my memory: Our party has a gnome druid, whose player gives him an irritating high-pitched nasal voice. In our last couple of sessions he wild-shaped into a bat to spy on something. After taking bat form, the player announced, "I'm Batgnome!" in his character voice.

 

Later in the same session, when the GM told Batgnome that he saw an orc below, the player announced, "I poop on him."

 

My favorite quote of that session came from another player, though. We'd just found a prisoner chained to a hideous idol with some, er, excessive male enhancements. The party's rogue (played by this forum's very own Jubilee) freed the prisoner. The GM asked, "Don't you want to touch the idol?"

Jubilee replied, "No! Ew! It's icky!!"

GM: "Don't you want to touch the golden nipple rings?"

Jubilee: (eagerly) "It has golden nipple rings?!"

::D:

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Last session my group played got me a handful of chips thrown my way. I play a Dwarven Fighter/ Wizard and had recently picked up a shocking short spear...anyways as we made our way through a cavern we reached a point where we were hearing bad guy type noises. Every one draws a weapon... my comment..."I set my spear for charge"

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Yeah DnD and rpgs in general can bring up some funny moments.

We once had a Dwarven cleric leap (with summersaults !!!) unto a centaur wanting to ride him. I was DM and all his rolls harder but like alot of stupid actions in RPG he nails every one roll.

 

My favorite "fool" player (this guy actually named all his chars after himself Manuel the fighter,manuel the pirate and so on ) was in a town where he was captured and the "judge" declared him for insane so he got a branding on his arm. So he talked our amazon into slashing his arm off and he he track a healing potion and asked me,again DM, if his arm is healed again. Well all I could tell him is the wound was healed but the arm is gone ::D:

 

But i still find my friends DM mistake the best: "You walk down the temple stairs and beyond the door you hear heavy footsteps" we crashed through the door and was there: snakes! And thus the boot snakes where born ::P:

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