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YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE GULF COAST WHEN...


Orchid_Noir
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It was sent to me by my father, I found it hilarious (too many beentheredonethat's one year or another). :lol:

 

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE GULF COAST WHEN...

 

 

 

· You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

 

· You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.

 

· Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.

 

· You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.

 

· When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.

 

· Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.

 

· You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

 

· You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.

 

· The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.

 

· You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.

 

· You own more than three large coolers.

 

· You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

 

· You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back."

 

· You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.

 

· Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

 

· You catch a 13-pound redfish in your driveway.

 

· You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.

 

· At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.

 

· You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.

 

· There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

 

· You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work for the Weather Channel.

 

· Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

 

· Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

 

· Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.

 

· Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

 

· You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.

 

· You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.

 

· A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

 

· You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.

 

· Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to UGA!

 

· Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean its Christmas.

 

· Toilet Paper is elevated to "coin of the realm" at the shelters.

 

· You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."

 

· Your kids start school in August and finish in July.

 

· You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

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Well judging by the fact you are posting I'm going to say that perhaps you are home again in Beaumont? I did get your phone message last week I just haven't had a chance to call yet. Drop me a PM as I may have some things for you that I no longer have use for.

 

The joke was good for a laugh too, thanks. :lol: Though on another level it was dead serious.

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It was sent to me by my father, I found it hilarious (too many beentheredonethat's one year or another). :lol:

 

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE GULF COAST WHEN...

 

 

 

· You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer. Nope

 

· You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer. Nope

 

· Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os. Ravioli, but close

 

· You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows. I've been thinking of upgrading the plywood to aluminum or steel sheets.

 

· When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway. Will never sell

 

· Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms. Nope

 

· You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot. Check

 

· You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded. Nope, I've got 3 5gallon cans, at the very least two are always full

 

· The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone. Nope, but standing out at the driveway with a shotgun seems to do the trick.

 

· You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool. Who needs a pool? I'll go swim in the yard.

 

· You own more than three large coolers. Nope

 

· You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it. Nope

 

· You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back." My friends come to my place, i have a generator

 

· You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer. Nah, city water buried real deep

 

· Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight. I've always been good with my hands :poke:

 

· You catch a 13-pound redfish in your driveway. Nah, but we did get a gator

 

· You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy. who cant?

 

· At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw. Well, I do have 18 inches :poke:

 

· You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row. Mana from the heavens

 

· There is a roll of tar paper in your garage. And shingles, and roofing felt, and a few visquine tarps.

 

· You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work for the Weather Channel. nope

 

· Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof. Nah, I'd be with it

 

· Ice is a valid topic of conversation. Boring, but yeah

 

· Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water. Nope electric stove + generator = home cooking

 

· Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea. Wusses

 

· You spend more time on your roof than in your living room. Reshingling

 

· You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker. Nope, do it myself

 

· A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center. No, I watch, 2 houurs of TV a week as it is

 

· You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer. I don't have to worry about that anyway

 

· Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to UGA! Nope, Pirouge

 

· Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean its Christmas. No, that means I'm friggen screwed

 

· Toilet Paper is elevated to "coin of the realm" at the shelters. never been to one

 

· You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side." Once again, who doesnt?

 

· Your kids start school in August and finish in July. Nah, we boat 'em in

 

· You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning. the joys of a gennie

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We will no longer be on hurricane watch. We were going to move to the Denton area in December for quite a number of reasons, none of which were storm related at the time, with Rita's evacuation, though, we are going to go ahead and do it early. So now it is just our stuff that's still down there, not us. A concern, but not near as scary when hearing "the storm has just been classified Cat 5, and still strengthening."

 

And yeah, Cadaver, after all the ones I went through growning up, I have to agree, cat3 is a bother, cat2 a pest, and cat1 is excuse for a party. :;): Category 5 storms I refuse to tangle with, though, especially since becoming a parent. :unsure:

 

The part of the storms I always liked best was going out on the porch in the eye, a truer experience in the awesome force that is nature I have never known, it's perfectly clear and still with a beautiful blue sky filled with birds, but one can see the deadly and powerful walls of the storm as they approach, really awesome, in the old meaning of that word, just wow. :blink:

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