dargrin Posted May 16, 2006 Author Share Posted May 16, 2006 "Note to self...Jägermeister, not eating until Bob's Clam Shack and Sarah's hot tub don't mix." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enchantra Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 BEEEEEEEEEEEEP! "Hi, this is the refrigerator. The answering machine is on vacation but if you leave a message I'll write it on one of those handy little yellow notes and stick it on myself". LMAO!!! Spartan, thank you for making my day. I needed this after dealing with people with attitudes on nightshift last night. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axegrrl Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 (Apologies in advance to those who are not fond of mathematics....) Word is that the MIT phone system used to play the following message to someone who dialed an extension incorrectly: "I'm sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grimjack Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 The Police Department has a new non-emergency telephone answering machine on line. Here is the directory of the first responses programmed into the machine. "Hello, you have reached the Police Department's non-emergency voice mail. Pay close attention as we have to update the choices often as new and usual circumstances dictate. Please select one of the following options: "To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem that you created yourself, press 1." "To inquire as to whether someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem, press 2." "To report an officer for bad manners, when in reality the officer is trying to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3." "If you would like us to raise your children, press 4." "If you would like us to take control of your life due to your chemical or alcohol dependency, press 5." "If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6." "To provide a list of officers you personally know so we will not take enforcement action against you, press 7." "To sue us, tell us you pay our salary and you will have our badge, or to proclaim our career is over, press 8." "To whine about a ticket and/or complain about the many other uses for the police, rather than keeping your dumb butt in line, press 9." "Please note your call may be monitored to assure proper customer satisfaction and remember......we're here to save your butt, NOT kiss it!" "Thanks for calling the Police Department and have a nice day." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vil-hatarn Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 (Apologies in advance to those who are not fond of mathematics....) Word is that the MIT phone system used to play the following message to someone who dialed an extension incorrectly: "I'm sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again." I like that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.