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Ladies: Engagement Rings!

M. Eversberg II

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Was talking with a lady friend of mine about stuff, and I began to wonder:  What's the best stone for an engagement ring?


Options are:


Diamond  (Indipendent of you being born in April)

Birth Stone

Stone of Favorite Color

Two Stones:  His and Hers Birthstone (In some sort of shape)




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If you want a rather common stone whose value is artificially inflated, and is often used to support African terrorism, then by all means go with a diamond. My wife would have been pissed had I given her one. I got her a sapphire as it's her favorite. Now she has a cubic zirconia she's quite fond of. Many people today are convinced that diamonds are the only way to prove your love. That 2 month salary rule? generated by a DeBeers ad for, you guessed it, diamonds. Please consider carefully before you buy.

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Diamonds are traditional and you can choose where your diamond originates. There are diamonds mined in Canada and Australia that are just as beautiful but not quite as cheap as African diamonds.


My best friend's engagement ring is an amethyst set in a platinum band, very lovely and fit their budget. I don't remember what my brother got his wife, but I know she helped pick it out.


If you're shopping for a ring, get a plain band and maybe stick a note in the box saying: "This ring redeemable for an engagement ring if you say 'yes'" or some such if your truly stumped. I know that I wouldn't want to get stuck with a ring I didn't like...


EDIT: And why are all the _guys_ answering on a thread seeking the ladies advice!?

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I'm a big fan o the sapphire engagement ring.



There are so many really wonderful stones out there aside from diamonds. A good diamond can be stunning, but mostly they seem so ordinary and pedestrian.


I would take time to get to know the person you are getting the ring for and see what they might like best.

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My engagement ring is diamond in white gold.


My wedding ring is a 'wrap' with sapphires and smaller diamonds, also in white gold.


So the entire thing is one unit. Very pretty. I get compliments on it regularly.


I'm not normally a diamond person but this was something very special and Mr. Rastl wanted something traditional. He would have gone for pretty much anything I wanted but I knew his preferences too.


Otherwise, I'm very much a CZ kinda gal. Why spend all that money on a diamond when I can get really nice Cz/white sapphire (created) or white topaz?

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Cuz we have to buy them.

And some of us managed to buy them very successfully.


I am lucky, my wife doesn't like big flashy jewelry in general, and as a musician especially on her hands and wrists. I was specifically told she wanted a small diamond with a simple setting. Even still, it remains the single largest check I have ever written, and I love my jeweler. They had my ring ready before we went away to Vermont for the weekend, and the day that I was supposed to pick it up, we got hit with a sudden blizzard, and someone stayed at the store 2 hours past closing (along with a security guard) so I could trek my way there through the snow and traffic to get the ring. And fortunately, because of the weather, I could just keep telling my wife I was stuck on the road, and she never knew I had gotten it until the day I proposed. I will now buy all my jewelry from them. And the ring was exactly what she wanted. In fact, when she had it appraised for insurance, I was hit really hard because even though it was a smaller stone (.5 carat) it was virtually perfect. Doing the research before I bought helped. And a well cut, flawless, colorless, high clarity diamond is stunning. It explodes with almost any light. Because trust me, my wife ran around watching it sparkle under almost every lighting condition she could find (and still does at times).


And always buy your stone loose, and have it set.


Really though, the engagement ring is something very much unique to the individual. So asking what people want might notl provide the answer you are looking for. And most women I know have been pretty good at letting their significant other know what they like without having to drag them to a jeweler and saying - PICK THIS. Although I do have a friend that had to do this, because her husband is a bit clueless and can't take a hint if his life depended on it.

Edited by Qwyksilver
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Remember that Family Guy bit spoofing the DeBeers ad?



"She'll pretty much have to"


But seriously, a diamond is the most traditional engagement ring. In college, a friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend with this dinky little ring with no diamonds that couldn't have cost more than about $200. The proposal was in front of about five friends, and the rest of us couldn't figure out how she wasn't insulted by it.


A well cut diamond truly is a work of art. The only time I could really recommend against it is if she doesn't like stuff that sparkles. And for the love of all that is good, get it at an actual jewelry store, and read up on the C's before you go in. It's one of the few things you'll buy that is for the rest of your life. You'll trade in cars, and you'll probably even switch houses, but with any luck that ring will be worn until you're worm food.

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I admit I had to pick out the one I wanted and have them hold it to show Mr. Rastl. He's gotten better about it but that's still the way to go when I reeeeeally want something.


To get back to the original question, I think that since she will be wearing it every day for the rest of her life you better make sure it is something she likes. I don't know of anyone who would not enjoy an afternoon browsing through jewelry stores. Note - one afternoon. One. Not every day, not an entire day. One and once. Find the options, try them on, and make some kind of decision.


My stones are all set low because I'm very hard on my hands. Anything that stuck up or out would have been bent or broken in a matter of weeks. I'm very careful and have the prongs checked every other month or so. Another thing to consider when getting the jewelry.

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you could always go for the "One Ring" I mean it was pretty desirable by many folk.....ha ha


when my wife & I got engaged many moon err years ago, I let her pick out the one she wanted, since I knew she wasn't into the bling bling & wanted something simple. I think it was around 300 if I recall, not a problem at all for me.


speakin of which with our 10th year anv coming up next month, I'm thinkin of getting her anther ring, as I don't buy her jewelry much (something she has said to me before), but I'll probably go with a diamond, as I know she like that. Surprise her out of the blue with it, something I know she wouldn't expect to get.

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The one point where I'd have to disagree with you about picking the stones and having them set is that some rings don't really focus on one big center stone. For those that do, yes, one should pick the stone and then have it set.

However, with princessa cut, that can be a little more difficult, especially the new wave of princessa cuts with diamonds on both sides of the main stones as well as the front and back (for a total of about a bajillion diamonds).

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Tradition dictates diamonds. BUt that is also a modern tradition. For a long time it was rubys and sapphires. Sappires are becoming more popular now. The birth stone or favorite stone/color is a good option as well (I got both, sapphire: favorite and birthstone) as long as the lady who will be geting it is not a super tradionalist, and will be miffed if she doesn't get a diamond.

As far as no stone, if she really really doesn't want a stone, then sure. but usually the engagement ring is to impress her (and also friends and family, I know its silly) and the band can be the simple one. She doesn't have to wear the e-ring every day after the wedding, but she can. its the band that you give her on the actual 'day' that will need to be a bit more utilitarian, especially if she works with her hands, or is a clutz like me.

Now if you get a set, they can usually be soldered together, if she loves both and is in a situation where she can wear both at the same time without worry. That can be fixed by a loverly setting called a bezel...

But as far as stone, if all else fails (ie: you have no idea what she wants, or more importantly what she absolutly does not want) go with a diamond. If she's good at hints, or has friends who you know she talks shinies with (that can keep thier mouths shut), go with that. And if you are convinced she'll hate whatever you pick out, plant a friend in a jewelry store at a time you know you'll be walking by, and then 'have to' go say hi. She will likely talk to someone there about what she likes. Its like glitzy recon.

And yes, you can get diamonds out of Canada. They are currently the best clarity/color on the market, so they are a bit more expensive than what you get in a regular jewelry store (you get what you pay for) and they are certified conflict free by the government of the Northwest Territories. If she is a political type girl, or cause orriented, a Canadian diamond will mean alot to her.






and look, a girl has now responded

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The only Reason I have Diamonds, My husband Insisted, I don't really care for the stone.


I have a very conservative marquise cut 3/4th carat solitaire that is my ring (I am wearing my Anniversary style engagement ring right now because the Platinum on my wedding ring snapped. :huh::blink: ) It has a wrap with two marquise cut sapphires and two tiny round diamonds to complete it, because Sapphires are my favorite stone. If you really want to choose a ring for a lady, ask her what she would want in a ring. Granted my husband asked me to marry him before he even though of buying a ring. We were a bit backwards. My First ring was a 10 dollar silver band with an Australian crystal we picked out together at a gen con booth. He came and Met My parents That Christmas, and asked my dad for permission (it was sweet) and Gave me a 5 stone ring as a "real" engagement ring.

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