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Ladies: Engagement Rings!


M. Eversberg II
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Personally I'd never marry a woman who'd have gotten insulted because my engagement ring wasn't expensive enough.

I learned long ago that a woman who demands a diamond ring is not worth what you're paying.

 

I got into an argument with a girl over this subject a few weeks ago.

Her: It's a symbol of "our love", "our commitment", about us.

Me: If it's about we and us, about "our commitment" then why is he paying for it?

Her: It's a tradition.

Me: So's a dowry, a far, far older tradition at that. So what is your father offering to this guy to take you off his hands? Traditions change.

Her: ...

Me: Let me ask you a question. Why, when you are just about to start out, when you've got to pay for a wedding, a house, or rent, would you willingly step into more debt? Studies have shown that over 75% of divorces in young couples is due to money problems. Why would you willingly buy an expensive pretty rock, that does nothing, has a horrible resale, and increases your chance at a divorce, due to being broke because you have to pay for it?

Her: Well, when we graduate, we should both easily find jobs in the $100,000 a year range, so it shouldn't be that hard.

Me: Wait, you're graduating with a bachelors in philosophy, right? $100,000 a year, you say?

Her: Yes...

Me: Ha, you are in for such a disappointment when you leave college. Reality is seriously going to kick you in the teeth.

 

Luckily, I found a woman, who like myself, would rather have something that actually does something, like a laptop, than a rock made valuable only through advertising.

I asked her the other day if she wanted a diamond ring. Her reply? "I'd rather a new deck."

I love that woman.

 

Edit: When we were deciding on getting married, I was working some really weird shifts, combined with the fact that I really don't have the same taste as my wife in jewelry. So I gave her my credit card with a $30,000 limit and told her to go and pick out her own ring and to get what she wanted.

She came back with a $600 cubic zirconium. (From Wal-mart, no less.)

Did I mention I love this woman?

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... than a rock made valuable only through advertising.

 

I agree with a lot of what you wrote except this part. Diamonds (and other shiny objects) are also valuable because people find them pretty. IMO the amount of pretty per $ when purchasing diamonds is just nowhere near worth it (IMO).

Edited by vejlin
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Jeez. So many cynics and diamond haters here! lol.

 

My wife's engagemnt ring is a three stone, square-cut setting in white gold. Big one in the middle, flanked by two smaller ones, each in a pronged setting. I picked it out because every once in a while when we'd go to the mall I'd wander us through the jewelry store and watch what she looked at. When it came time to buy one, I picked somehting very similar to those.

 

Why diamonds? Not sure. We're only doing this once (marriage), so I figured I wanted to get her something I thought was traditional. I spent more than two months salary, as I was a college student at the time. We also have insurance on it. Which reminds me, I have to update the policy and add our wedding rings.

 

She got to pick out her own wedding ring, which is a smallish white gold band with a line of tiny embeded diamonds in it. Sits very nicely next to her engagement ring.

 

Mine is a tungsten-carbide band. Completely plain, reminds me of a silvery One Ring.

 

Technically, I had a "free" engagement ring to give to my wife, but I really didn't want to. It was given to my mother by the man who was her fiancee before she died. He asked me to use it. I didn't. Didn't like the guy, and he's not my dad. The ring sits nearly-forgotten in a backpack in one of my closets. I'm big on sentimentality and personal history. I'd have felt it was "tainted" in some way by his slimy aura.

 

Wow, I got a bit off topic there, haha!

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When we got engaged we had an acquaintance who asked my wife 100 questions about the ring. She wanted to know the exact cut/color/clarity of each stone, and how much I'd paid. My wife didn't know, nor did she care. Our "friend" revealed that she wouldn't say yes to her boyfriend unless he spent at least $25,000. When he graduated from college and landed a job as an engineer making six figures, she threw a hissy fit and they broke up because he hadn't proposed yet.

 

Two weeks later she had her $25,000 ring. We lamented that he caved, because he was a good guy, and she was a money-grubbing, nasty person.

 

Could you imagine demanding somethng like that?

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... than a rock made valuable only through advertising.

 

I agree with a lot of what you wrote except this part. Diamonds (and other shiny objects) are also valuable because people find them pretty. IMO the amount of pretty per $ when purchasing diamonds is just nowhere near worth it (IMO).

 

True to a point - but why are Cubic Zirconia cheaper then? Just as shiny - but considered inferior.

 

Diamonds are marketed to be far more valuable then they should be - and they are kept artificially scarce. The marketing machine behind diamonds re-enforces the diamonds are forever/ engagement rings should be diamonds etc. The diamond engagement ring is relatively new as far as traditions are concerned... 1930's-40's is when DeBeers first started pounding the message of 'Diamonds are forever' home. DeBeers itself was founded to artificially inflate the value of these stones... Prior to the 1870's Diamonds were rare (and hence valuable and only used in the occasional engagement ring - and then only for royalty). But a major discovery in S.Africa flooded the market - so DeBeers was founded to 'buy up' the market and keep them scarce to protect diamond investors (1888).

 

When people say diamonds are traditional - and that an engagement ring needs to be a diamond I shake my head... Diamonds are a farce. And anyone who feels the need to defend the practice should sit and think about why they want a diamond. If it relates to the look - there are cheaper alternatives. If it relates to the physical properties of diamond - most relate to industrial uses -and man made alternatives are available. If it relates to tradition - there are far older and less overpriced traditions available. If it comes down to 'I just want one'... Then you might as well just give up...

 

(Cadaver - I need to buy you a beer or something - because I TOTALLY agree with what you are saying).

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Oh don't get me wrong, I agree that most of the diamonds price is demand caused by advertisement and not "pretty". I just disagreed with cadaver claiming that a diamond had zero value other than that created from advertisement.

 

IMO Cubic Zirconia has about the same "pretty"-value as a diamond. The difference is as you say advertisement.

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Oh don't get me wrong, I agree that most of the diamonds price is demand caused by advertisement and not "pretty". I just disagreed with cadaver claiming that a diamond had zero value other than that created from advertisement.

 

IMO Cubic Zirconia has about the same "pretty"-value as a diamond. The difference is as you say advertisement.

Oh, no.

They make great drill bits, and excellent saw blades.

Other than that, their value to me is zero, because they do nothing.

 

In other words, to me, value is determined by purpose and functionality. I'm a very pragmatic person, always have been.

 

 

ie: My mother has a complete different definition of what is valuable.

A few years ago my mother's lawn mower broke down.

Now, my mother has a two acre yard, and nearly every season she has to replace her lawn mower because she buys the cheapest, least expensive mower she can find. (Cheap and less expensive are two different things, but often go hand in hand.)

Yet, she is more than willing to go blow thousands on jewelry that she thinks looks pretty.

So, I'm looking at the lawn mower and determine it is unfixable, and tell her she needs a new one.

"But, I paid a lot of money for that Lawn Mower." She whined.

"How much?" I asked.

"$800" she replied.

"And how much did you pay for that ring on your finger?" I asked.

"Uh, $5000."

"Can it cut your grass?'

She got the point and went out and bought a John Deere Lawn Tractor and hasn't had any problems with it in two years.

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When we got engaged we had an acquaintance who asked my wife 100 questions about the ring. She wanted to know the exact cut/color/clarity of each stone, and how much I'd paid. My wife didn't know, nor did she care. Our "friend" revealed that she wouldn't say yes to her boyfriend unless he spent at least $25,000.

 

I've long had the theory that for certain women, the suitor gets a +1 or +2 on his "marriage proposal success" die roll for each half a carat of the diamond. I've been lucky enough to avoid getting to that stage with anyone of that type.

 

I've had some friends whose stones seemed absolutely huge. Seemed crazy to me that someone would regularly wear something that cost as much as a car, particularly given the chances for being noticed for all the wrong reasons (theft) or just simple loss. But, that's what their fiancees gave them.

 

Of course, engagement rings are often a relative drop in the bucket compared to some weddings.

 

Luckily for me, my wife is a sensible woman who likes a little bit of jewelry, but not much. One of the many things that I love about her. ::):

 

Ron

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I must have lucked out with my wife. I did go the diamond route but there was none of the "it must be this big and cost XX dollars". Which was good for me as she hadn't a clue that I was proposing. I got her a nice princess cut stone in a simple setting. She had mentioned to me shortly after we started dating that she had trouble finding rings that that she could wear at work without ripping her gloves (she is a nurse). She still doesn't know what I payed for her ring. Whenever we get a new insurance policy I have to take the phone when we get the ring rider, she doesn't want to know what I payed.

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