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Life's little Pains


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Well, the other night while cooking i had to wash my hands in between one thing or another. So since i didn't have to dry them i just decided to flick the access water off as i moved to the next task. Well to my surprise, i not only flicked the water off, i flicked the faucet head as well with my fingernails.... Oouch!

 

that was smart, nice pain to help move dinner along, Not! :blink:::P:

 

My wife recently also hit her shin across the dishwasher door while it was open, which i've done several times myself and it hurts. She showed me the bruise and said "Know I know how you feel when you don't see something" she said that because i'm visually impaired

 

so share your pain...

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This one might be hard to top among pains not requiring a hospital stay.

 

My spouse needed me to rub some deep-heating rub on his back and shoulder this morning, a task which I always wear a plastic glove or baggie on my hand to do. Not a problem..right?

 

Well, somewhere in the process of removing the baggie from my hand, I got just a teeny dab of the stuff on my fingertips... and didn't really notice it at the moment.

 

Of course, it manifested itself about half an hour later when I blew my nose.

 

WOW! Imagine inhaling a teaspoonful of chinese hot mustard!

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Bit of background... Some of you might know - but I have narcolepsy. This leads to lots of sometimes painful situations.

 

Most recently, I was assembling a paint mixer to test for a board member here, and since I was only checking to make sure it worked properly. Well, With the mixer in hand and my fingers holding it beneath a rotating cam assembly I connected the power. Sleep...

 

I woke up to an excruciatingly painful burning in my hands, and while I was still half asleep - I yanked my hand from where it had become jambed...peeling about a 1" x 3" chunk of skin from the back of my hand.

 

After I cleaned up the blood and put a bandage on, I had a good laugh though. Life is too short to take it seriously.

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I was hand sanding the edge of a sheet of plywood, and caught a three inch splinter in my right index finder. The splinter went in, and came out about half an inch later. After the initial shock of seeing my skewered finger, I sat down with a sterilized xacto knife to get it out. Now, I'm right-handed, so this was tricky, but I got most of it out. I had a doctor get out one tiny bit I couldn't get, and he said I had done a great job with my home surgery.

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This is more embarrassing painful.

 

My boss wanted me to sign a document. She had one of those fountain pens. I unconsciously wicked the pen. Nice mouthful of blue ink.

 

I need to cut down on my painting.

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I have a few---that are just short of Darwin Awards----

 

Cause: So, in cub scouts we were playing darts---and we didn't have a place to hang the board, so I got the bright idea I'd just hold it.......this was pre-plastic darts, mind you....

Effect: A trip to the hospital to remove a dart that had lodged behind my kneecap.

 

Cause: I was a martial artist for a number of years--practiced a lot of different weapons as a result--one being the the butterfly knife (not a traditional weapon, I know)---I decided I'd show someone how to use their knife without inspecting the knife first.

Effect: 16 stitches in a finger. The knife was razor sharp----I got to see what the knucklebone on my index finger looks like. Oh..and how difficult it is to fit 16 stitches on a finger (almost lost it---with a nice little scar to remind me).

 

Cause: Cutting carpet up to throw away---near the outdoor shooting range.

Effect: The shots from the range distracted me long enough to run the blade up into my hand "to the hilt"---another nice set of stitches.

 

Cause: Walking up to a metal door while looking at the ground.

Effect: Someone was coming out. A nice shot to the eyebrow--6 stitches and a K.O.

 

Cause: Playing on a stack of blocks.

Effect: A slip-----a sprained ankle and a K.O.

 

Cause: Rappelling down an 80' sheer with a sloped landing...and deciding I wanted to do it fast.

Effect: A hyper-extended knee---that I actually *watched* hyper-extend. Almost passed out....it hurt.

 

Cause: Standing behind a guy with a baseball bat.

Effect: A shot to the "junk", and a trip to fix a testicular "problem".

 

Cause: Catching a framed wall that wasn't supported.

Effect: Hernia on impact.

 

Cause: Laying my hand on a T-wrench stuck in a machine while someone wasn't paying attention.

Effect: A bump of the start button snapped my finger between the wrench and a piece of angle iron. Flattened my finger between the two----pretty nasty---had to wait to have the machine backed-up to get my hand out.

 

Cause: Not getting a glove up in time on a short hop from third.

Effect: Broken nose. Not too exciting, except that you could hear the cartilage rub together when I ate, talked, etc---my wife wouldn't sit near me because of that. Not to mention, the yellow/black raccoon face that came with it....

 

Cause: Yanking string lines out of a construction job, as opposed to getting up on the ladder and cutting it.

Effect: When you yank a string that is tied to a nail---the nail follows the string back. Up to the head in the web of my hand.

 

Cause: Losing control of a shot-put mid throw....and trying to catch it.

Effect: A crushed thumb.

 

And there's about 100 more of these. It's a wonder, with all the stitches I have in me, that I don't swell up and fall apart when I get wet.

 

Cheers!

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Good lord Kevin! It's a wonder you can still paint!

 

Add to my list a few more.

 

..like the time I closed my fingertip along with a piece of re-bar in a vise. It was one of those kind with the big wheel to tighten it down..and something or somebody took my mind off what I was doing jussst long enough.

 

..and the time when I was a kid and I jumped off a rooftop (while playing in a construction site in spite of being told over and over not to)..and landed in a pile of broken shingles. I told my mom I cut my legs up riding my bike through a briar patch.

 

..and then there was the time I got electrocuted while trying to plug in a 220 heating cabinet at work. That was quite an eye-opener.

 

..and add to that the numerous things that happened to me during my days as a skateboarder..and the scores of playing-with-things-that-sometimes-explode related accidents.

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Wow. Makes all my incidents sound rather pathetic.

 

My latest favorite was taking a V shaped chunk out of my hand because I was more interested in where the back of the blades of the scissors were than the front.

 

Oh yes. And I know every piece of furniture in the house that can raise a bruise by being walked into. Rare talent, that.

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....and the scores of playing-with-things-that-sometimes-explode related accidents.

 

ROFL! I have one of these...granted, it wasn't me that got hurt--but still. I'll share---I'll apologize ahead of time, as this is a little lengthy----but I'll try to summarize by cutting out the typical embellishments when I tell this story....

 

I played with chemistry sets--as one of my very good friends was a chemical engineer, much older than me, and his family babysat me while I was younger. So, I picked up a few things about nitrates (the "N" in TNT stands for "Nitro" for a reason).

 

Homemade gunpowder is slow burning, impure, and unpredictable.

I made a bomb with a carpet-yarn cone and play dough--basically, a shaped charge. Yes, a boy of 12 can create a shaped charge, provided he reads enough about high-explosives.

 

Anyway, skipping past all the parts about where said victim patronized me because he "knew more than the 12 year old"........

 

The homemade firecracker didn't explode.

 

The "victim" went over to the cone with me screaming, as loud as I could, "Get away from it!!"---he didn't listen.

He picked up the charge and blew, ever so gently, into the fused end......about three inches from his face....

 

It popped.

 

The fact that he only sustained some relatively minor burns on his hands is a regular "thank you" I say in my prayers. He could have easily been killed. He had tried to convinced me to put the powder in a soup can---basically, a shrapnel grenade. I'm glad that, even at 12, I was at least smart enough to NOT do this. It would have most assuredly killed him. I still contend to this day, that the shape charged saved his hands and eyes....I had directed the charge downward---towards the ground...so, he only received about 10% of the "direct" explosion.

 

But, it still doesn't stop us all from giggling (now at least) at his cartoony appearance----running around the yard, high-stepping, with a soot-blackened face--hair blown back and smoking---screaming over and over again "Ahhh..ahhh...ahhh"....

 

Needless to say though...that my days of playing with chemistry sets ended for awhile.....

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This is my current pain -

 

Photo_3.jpg

 

 

I'm a chronic toe stubber, however. Probably grosest, but least painful is I stubbed a toe on the way to the kitchen... didn't hurt, but i split it open.

I was wandering around the kitchen making lunch with some fresh strawberries when i notice a small splash of red on the floor. Thinking i spilled a few drops of berry juice, i turn around to get a sponge to clean it up and realize I've been spurting blood all over the kitchen. It looked like a crime scene from a cheesy horror movie :)

 

It was a fairly minor cut, though.

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Well lets see.

 

-Having my right thumb caught between a container and a generator I was mounting to said container. Amazingly enough all I

got was bruise and swelling from this one.

 

-Pushing a wrench to break a bolt loose and having the wrench snap, cut my arm from wrist to elbow. Butterfly taped it and kept going.

 

-Getting smashed between two canoes in a lake and K.Oed with no life jacket on, came to to a hand wrapped in my hair pulling me up.

 

And too many to mention from hobby related accidents.

 

Garm

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:blink: Oh my God! You actually started a "Show your Scars" topic amoung a bunch of geeks like us. This will be the never ending topic. :rolleyes:

 

My follies (a few anyway):

 

Setup: Dad sent me back to the house from the garden to get him the corn knife (hand sickle). Of course, he strictly told me not to swing it around.

Result: Of course on the way back to the garden with the sickle, I was "slaying" all the beasts (weeds) that I came upon. I slipped when going through one and accidentally imbedded the point of the sickle about a half inch into my knee cap. Try explaining that one to an angry dad onthe way to the ER.

 

Setup: A 15 year-old me and a tablesaw without a guard.

Result: A saw kerf wide scar running down the center of my left ring finger.

 

Setup: New knife, very sharp, and an apple in the recently healed (see previous) left hand.

Result: Sliced down into the palm to the point where I could watch the tendons move.

 

Setup: Carving a dragon out of basswood. The recently healed (see previous) left hand was holding the wood.

Result: Slipped and sliced down to the bone on the tip of my thumb.

 

Setup: Chasing my girlfriend (now wife) down three flights of steps.

Result: While taking three steps at a time, I caught a step with only the edge of my foot and rolled my ankle. I tumbled down the rest of the flight of stairs, there-by proving to my love that I did indead have a better vocabulary than a sailor. Broke the ankle and ended up on crutches for the rest of semester.

 

Setup: Gym at a local community college where I taught basic fencing to the student fencing club. Was fencing a young guy who was getting quite good and decided I couldn't let him beat me.

Result: I over extended my lunge and popped my shoulder out of the socket. Ended up screaming on the floor (but I got the point :rolleyes: ).

 

Setup: A man, a crucible, a torch, and some old minis. I decided to try casting my own bases, so I melted down an old mini and pored it into a sand mold. The pewter suck and I had to tip it very far to get it out of the crucible.

Result: Go figure, molten pewter is HOT! The scar went away nicely though.

 

And (though there are countless more that I have not mentioned) now for the current one:

 

Setup: Home Depot with me needing a 4' x 8' x 3/4" sheet of plywood. Do I wait for an associate to help me load it, or do I do it myself. Obviously the latter.

Result: As I lifted the board up and slid it off the rack, I lost my grip on it and the whole board dropped about 3', landing edge on onto my big toe. I think it is lightly broken, but I am too stubborn to go into the Dr. The swelling has gone down now, though I think I will lose the nail. On the up side, it is a lovely shade of purple.

 

TS

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This is my current pain -

 

Photo_3.jpg

 

 

I'm a chronic toe stubber, however. Probably grosest, but least painful is I stubbed a toe on the way to the kitchen... didn't hurt, but i split it open.

I was wandering around the kitchen making lunch with some fresh strawberries when i notice a small splash of red on the floor. Thinking i spilled a few drops of berry juice, i turn around to get a sponge to clean it up and realize I've been spurting blood all over the kitchen. It looked like a crime scene from a cheesy horror movie :)

 

It was a fairly minor cut, though.

 

 

Foot wounds and head wounds seem to blead the worst even if they aren't bad.

 

A couple years ago I hit myself in the side of the knee with a 3 inch ball bearing I had welded to a metal rod to dish out some armor projects with. That freakin hurt. I've smacked my thumb and fingers more times than I car to admit and burned nearly as often. Remember kids when working at the forge or welding table black doesn't equal cool.

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While on watch in the Navy I opened a steel door that was dogged shut. Rather than save the one at hand height for last, I got the one below it. The door was to a "Clean Room" that was under positive pressure, so when the last dog came off, the door popped open. The handle caught me square in the forehead, I swore like a sailor should, and went to medical once I saw the blood for seven stitches. One month earlier I fell down a ladder spraining my ankle, which has now developed arthritis. and one month later I caught my thumb in the latch of a 12' sliding steel door, crushing the thumb, splitting the bone right down to the knuckle, and spending 4 days in the hospital for exposing the marrow. My left thumb is still shorter and wider than my right.

My friends gave me a cartoon of a guy floating at the top of the panle with the caption "I think my gravity broke"

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