Brushmaster Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Said by the promaniac wizard in one session a few years ago after the NPC/hireling that was standing next to her got globbered into a pulp by an ogre doing critical damage ......." Better him than me ...... there 's plenty more from where he came from ." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jack Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Said by the promaniac wizard in one session a few years ago after the NPC/hireling that was standing next to her got globbered into a pulp by an ogre doing critical damage ......." Better him than me ...... there 's plenty more from where he came from ." In a game I played a couple years ago, somebody almost made me snarf my soda. The DM was roleplaying a half-giant who'd just taken out several of our summoned creatures in one turn, and said something along the lines of, "I beat yer little wolf, I beat yer little badger, I beat yer little rat-thing, and now I'm gonna beat you!" At which point the wizard cast Mirror Image and the cleric (completely innocently) replied, "Beat all you want, we'll make more." I almost had a seizure. They both looked at me funny until I stopped choking long enough to explain they'd just parodied an old Doritos commercial.... I'd been using that particular joke since the comercial came out, but nobody else had heard it before, so for the next few sessions summoned monsters were represented on the map by crushed Doritos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amalor Myrnnyx Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 This came from tonights D&D game, and resulted in enough soda being sprayed from people noses to wash a sizeable section of the map off the battle sheet. We were facing a rather large fight against a horde of abominations, including 2 mind flayers, 3 beholds, 2 monstrous spiders, and a chimera, and more dark elves than you want to know about. Knowing what we going in to face mind flayers, my druid assumed the form of a Treant, knowing the mind flayers could do next to nothing. At one point, the chimera tried to bite the druid with all three heads, all three times rolling just under what was needed to hit. After seeing the third roll, I turned to the DM and said, "I guess my bark is worse than your bite." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EntilZha Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 After my current character, a Barbarian, finally got enough magic items and stat boosts to much his Strength score up to 30, I remarked, "Grigor makes Conan the Barbarian look like Conan O'Brien!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TaleSpinner Posted July 11, 2008 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2008 We were facing a rather large fight against a horde of abominations, including 2 mind flayers, 3 beholds, 2 monstrous spiders, and a chimera, and more dark elves than you want to know about. What story arc could possibly bring those creatures to all be working together at the same time, without killing each other? I disbelieve! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amalor Myrnnyx Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 We were facing a rather large fight against a horde of abominations, including 2 mind flayers, 3 beholds, 2 monstrous spiders, and a chimera, and more dark elves than you want to know about. What story arc could possibly bring those creatures to all be working together at the same time, without killing each other? I disbelieve! A DM who wanted to put his plastic D&D minis to use Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokingwreckage Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Come on, it's DnD! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dargrin Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 What story arc could possibly bring those creatures to all be working together at the same time, without killing each other? I disbelieve! That's ok I played in a game where we entered a room where there is a giant spider and snake fighting. They stopped fighting, looked at us, looked back at each other and nodded. They then both the attacked the party. Good Times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastrianna Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 This isn't from me but from another in my gaming group that had me laughing all throughout the session. At a recent game we were in an underground cave system that had streams of flowing lava through out. The party leader (a human fighter type, stubborn with an ego) is going through a bit of a power trip and is on the boarder line of an evil alignment change. Some evil spells/weapons do not hurt him as bad as it would others. Upon seeing the lava he gets the crazy notion to test to see if it will hurt him. So when the rest of the party wasn't looking he sticks his finger in the lava. Of course we all realize what he's done when we hear screams of pain Our major cleric/healer of the party is a gnome with a low tolerance for stupidity. After getting lectured about how stupid his action was, he takes out a healing wand and proceeds to hit him with it as he heals him asking with every strike, "How does it feel now? Better now? How about now? What to stick your finger in the lava again?" The rest of the game session every time we found something new that could be harmful the gnome cleric would look to the fighter and sneer, "Want to stick your finger in that too?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranzadule Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I'll need to think on "the best" but one of my mates had a pretty good one on Friday night: We are playing Conan and trying to discredit a local politician. We are brainstorming about everything from killing, to tar and feathering... and someone sways that we are making it too complicated and says he's going off to find a dead hooker. It waqs pretty funny coming from him and you may have had to be there, but we werew also drinking a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jack Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 and someone sways that we are making it too complicated and says he's going off to find a dead hooker. Ah, the old "dead hooker" strategy, eh? There are very few problems in a role-playing game that can't be solved by the strategic aquisition and placement of a dead prostitute.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EntilZha Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 and someone sways that we are making it too complicated and says he's going off to find a dead hooker. Ah, the old "dead hooker" strategy, eh? There are very few problems in a role-playing game that can't be solved by the strategic aquisition and placement of a dead prostitute.... Excellent statement. Do you mind if I use it in a signature? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jack Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Lol, go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivrel Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 I'll need to think on "the best" but one of my mates had a pretty good one on Friday night: We are playing Conan and trying to discredit a local politician. We are brainstorming about everything from killing, to tar and feathering... and someone sways that we are making it too complicated and says he's going off to find a dead hooker. It waqs pretty funny coming from him and you may have had to be there, but we werew also drinking a lot. Why didn't I ever think about doing thatin a Conan game? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EntilZha Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 In the Eberron game I occasionally play in, the DM was describing Rogar il'Wynarn, who was the leader of a group of pirates known as the Sea Wyverns. He said that Rogar was a famous pirate, known for his dashing exploits, but these days he was consumed with the day-to-day drudgery of running his organization. To which I replied, "He's turned into Lando Calrissian." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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