Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
cutebutpsycho

This CAN'T be happening

Recommended Posts

My condolences to you and your family Erin.

 

The reminder to get a Will hits home too. I need to update mine, since I just bought some new (to me) property...

 

Having gone through similar circumstances in my own family, everyone please make sure their paperwork is in order AND family knows where it all is. Don't make loved ones have to clear out 9 decades of junk in an office and a home to find the paperwork on your accounts, your stocks, your insurance, as we did with Art's grandfather.

I'm still convinced there are accounts that my grandfather had that were never found. He was taking care of my grandmother when he passed away, so he was the only one who knew where everything was.

 

I made sure my mother gave me and my brother a list of her accounts. I'm not convinced it has all of them, but at least we won't have a hectic search for the major stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry to hear about you and your family's losses and the difficulties surrounding them. My thoughts are with you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Having gone through similar circumstances in my own family, everyone please make sure their paperwork is in order AND family knows where it all is. Don't make loved ones have to clear out 9 decades of junk in an office and a home to find the paperwork on your accounts, your stocks, your insurance, as we did with Art's grandfather.

I'm still convinced there are accounts that my grandfather had that were never found. He was taking care of my grandmother when he passed away, so he was the only one who knew where everything was.

 

I made sure my mother gave me and my brother a list of her accounts. I'm not convinced it has all of them, but at least we won't have a hectic search for the major stuff.

 

Most delinquent accounts get turned over to the state I believe. Here in illinois you can apply for money being held in your name. I had over $100 from an old old paycheck that never was sent to me when I left the job. Or you can also have a lawyer check into this as well if you are unsure you have reached all the accounts. Grandpa's main bank was a great help as they and our lawyer researched and found additional accounts, as well as expedited matters with other financial institutions.

 

Still, it was a nightmare. The man was 98 years old and there was no organization of the paperwork as we'd hoped. It took two years to straighten it all out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

oh god erin I'm so sorry. I don't deal well with death. I am hereby sending you a long distance hug, and if you need anything, including a sounding board, let me know, if you call, i will answer.

 

and putting together a will has just moved up very high on my todo list, my husband is 31 so the age thing is the scary part.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First and foremost, Erin, I'm sorry for your losses.

 

Second, thank you for raising a very important issue that, whether we want to or not, we all need to consider - and it is not a place to procrastinate.

 

Estate Planning is a critical exercise for everyone. Wills are one of the tools that can be used to accomplish this end. For those with minor children, this is most important because it give you the opportunity to express your preference (and give your choice a strong position in court) as to who will have custody of your children should something happen to you. I have seen cases where this stated preference gave a grandparent a stronger position than a non-custodial parent (it doesn't always work, but at least it gives an argument when there is a good reason).

 

In addition to a Will (the rules governing which vary from state to state), it is also good to consider whether or not a living or revocable trust is a good fit for your situation - it isn't right for everyone, but consider asking a lawyer if it fits your circumstances. When in private practiceI was always especially in favor of trusts where someone owns property in more than one state.

 

A third item that I believe everyone should have goes by different names in different states. In some it is called a Medical Power of Attorney, in others a Health Care Declaration, in still others a Living Will. This governs your health care when you cannot express your opinions to your treating physician. It allows you to spell out your preferences about treatment, medications, artificial hydration and nutrition and, generally, to appoint a particular person (or people) to stand in your place and make medical decisions when you can't. Many states require that if you have provided your health care provider with a copy of this document, the care provider must either folloow your written instructions (including deferring to your chosen spokesperson) or tell you up front (before you are in the situation where you can't express a preference) that they are unable or unwilling to do so (thereby allowing you time to choose another provider). In some statess this document also expresses your preference for who should serve as Guardian of your person in the event such a thing is required.

 

As several people have already pointed out, it is equally important that those who will need to act when you cannot know where to find your documentation - both the legal documents that give them authority to act or speak on your behalf, and the records to track down the assets required to meet your intent.

 

Finally, all of your documentation should be reviewed by you on a regular basis (I think Annually usually suffices, unless something dramatic occurs during the year) to be sure that it still meets your beliefs and needs.

 

Best wishes to your family, Erin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang in there...if we need to do a benefit mini auction, let me know...I'd be happy to paint, and doante a mini to Reaper for that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, they're in Denmark where, fortunately, the government will make sure they're taken care of. Then there's the company which will now have to be sold-so the finances are good, just not the personal/emotional issues. Thanks so much for the offer though!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's all terrible, CBP. I wish you the best.

 

We are in the process of getting wills in order already, by the way. There's not a lot of.... anything.... involved but we're trying to start and maintain a good habit in this regard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...