sethohman Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I met a few whack jobs (21 year old who watched and enjoyed Teletubbies - but the other 21 year old who didn't like underwear was OK) off match.com. It was 9 years ago, though. Met my wife through what used to be excite.com (I think) where she had just a plain old add with a paragragh about her. Sounded interesting, made a date, got married 11 months later. 8 year anniversary was 2 days ago. It is mostly about luck, I think. Good luck! I agree with having your own transportation for the first date, and make it somewhere either one of you can make a ffast get away if necessary. Lunch on a Saturday by a movie theatre or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bel_Amore Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 I've heard good things about sites like Eventsandadventures.com. Its pretty much a singles club where activities are planned for single people to just go and hang out. They have locations all over the country but I know the club located here in Minneapolis does all kinds of things, from baseball games to wine tasting and anything in between. They seem to try to keep a wide variety of activities. Going with what Kim said, I think a club like this would provide a nice environment to just go and hang out with other single people. Now that means you have to be willing to take a step into the social side of life, but thats part of the dating process. Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anvil Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 This thread got my wife and I reminiscing and she told me my picture helped her a lot. It may sound corny or manipulative, but if you have a dog (not cat) include it in your picture. It sends a message that you can care for other living things enough for them to not die and that translates into you being able to care for them (or children). I chose the picture with the dog because it hid my gut (the dog was in my lap), but she just told me it really sent a message. DON"T do this if you don't have a dog, and don't use a cat. Cats send the wrong message, according to my wife. First impressions are everything. I hope this helps and doesn't offend anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vejlin Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 I'm curious, what message does a cat send? And if you actually have a cat why shouldn't you be honest about it and include it in the picture? I mean the cat would be part of the package should someone want to date you right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokingwreckage Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Sorry, had I met my wife on a dating site- which I didn't- a cat would have been precisely the RIGHT message. I guess there's no canine equivalent to "crazy old cat lady", though, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artists Wren Posted May 30, 2009 Artists Share Posted May 30, 2009 I find it unlikely that a cat would turn most women off. I've met more guys who dislike cats than women, so I think a cat or anything cute in the mammal family would send the same nurturing message to most women. If anything, I tend to add positive marks to my opinion of a man if I find he likes cats, since it suggests he doesn't have the stereotype of being a big manly man who needs his pets to slavishly obey him. (Which is probably just me stereotyping in another way, I guess.) I didn't use any dating sites/services to meet my husband, but I did meet him online and I certainly don't have any stigma about people who use dating sites. A good friend of mine met her husband through an online service. That was about six years ago, but I can ask her which one if you like. The funny part about that story is she wasn't intending to use the service. She was reviewing a friend's profile and checking it out for her, and found the ad of the man who became her hubby doing a sample search. As her dad says, how else are geeks supposed to find each other than online? Someone mentioned MMORPGs. I met my husband through something more like a MUD. I think the common element is having real time chat abilities. Maybe look for some sites/groups related to activities you enjoy that offer live chat instead of just forums? Though the problem there is you're likely to find someone who seems great but doesn't live very close, which makes it hard to meet them to find out if they're really so great. (Or if they are great, then you discover all the joys of moving and immigration that I have suffered. ;->) The dating sites work with geography so I'd say they're definitely worth trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wowahboy Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Met my wife at Six Flags in 1977. Don't rule out amusement parks, trust me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anvil Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 I asked my wife for some clarification on the whole "cat" thing and she claims that cats require less effort care-wise (don't have to take them out, only clean the litter box occasionally) than dogs (must be walked, demand attention). I must say in the spirit of fairness however that my wife does not like cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artists Wren Posted May 31, 2009 Artists Share Posted May 31, 2009 I'll definitely agree that cats require less effort in their care. While many of them do demand attention, the time and effort saved on the more minimal grooming and exercise needs is not insignificant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokingwreckage Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 If owner is like pet then cats might send the wrong signal, unless of course the other person is also a bit of a cat person. Like, yeah I love ya but right about now I'm gonna spend two hours ignoring you then suddenly without warning bite your ear 'cuz solitude is BORING. Compatibility is a wonderful thing. Since online dating services should let you "screen" pretty well, there's no reason they can't work, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vejlin Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I asked my wife for some clarification on the whole "cat" thing and she claims that cats require less effort care-wise (don't have to take them out, only clean the litter box occasionally) than dogs (must be walked, demand attention). I must say in the spirit of fairness however that my wife does not like cats. I read this as an argument FOR putting the cat in the picture. Let me generalize a bit to explain. If I'm honest about who I am (show that I own a cat and it's important enough for me to get my picture taken with it), then being rejected because of that honesty is a success, not a failure. Best case, hiding sides of you that you think are important will have no effect, worst case you'll end up suppressing a part of you that you think is important. Somewhere in the middle and probably most likely you'll just waste time going on dates with people you don't like or going on dates with people who don't like you. If you're interested in an actual relationship I don't see dishonesty about what kind of a person you are being anything but harmful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anvil Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I think what my wife was getting at is more like subliminal advertising than an honesty issue. If you are the type of guy who regularly gets pictures taken of himself with his cat, then the cat is probably a big part of your personality. It would seem illogical to try to conceal that aspect of yourself. In fact, as you pointed out, it would probably backfire on you. I think the point is more along the lines of politicians using national colors in advertising, or posing with babies. You want to project an image to at least get a second look from potential dates, something to make you stand out from the crowd. If you are a single parent, a picture with your child would serve the same purpose, I believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vutpakdi Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I met my wife through a dating site (Matchmaker) around 9 years ago. Worked out well for us. My wife and a good friend both got invitations from some of the same guys on that site, including one Sheriff's Deputy (or was it a DPS Trooper?) who had some 8 or 9 photos of him lounging about (in uniform) on his patrol car and his motorcycle and one creepy "I am a Vampire" guy. In both cases, the frequency of thematic elements (uniform, car, motorcycle in one case; creepy vampire/goth outfits in the other) did not leave a good impression. I wouldn't recommend hiding aspects of your life/personality, but I would recommend being careful about what your photos say about you. For example, even if gaming is a big part of your life, I wouldn't recommend mostly having photos of you around a dingy gaming table. Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bel_Amore Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 My wife and a good friend both got invitations from some of the same guys on that site, including one Sheriff's Deputy (or was it a DPS Trooper?) who had some 8 or 9 photos of him lounging about (in uniform) on his patrol car and his motorcycle... For some reason I'm picturing Deputy Dangle from Reno 911 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Porsenna Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 I met mine on Yahoo singles several years ago (like 8 or so?). This was after filtering through the whack jobs too. Thing is though, you just have to try, and going out on a first date is usually nothing lost except $30-40 for dinner, and maybe you got to talk to someone interesting, or maybe you have a new story to tell your friends. But eventually you start to meet a few "good" people and there you are... It is also my observation (at that time) that woman seemed to take dating sites less seriously that men did. I had to put in all the effort to contact people... Damon. PS: it doesn't matter whether you drink or not: bars are probably the worst place to meet a "quality" dating partner. The atmosphere, the booze, it's just a meat market IMHO... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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