fieldarchy Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Reaper Bryan recently suggested Geek2Geek to me. I looked but it was a bit scary. It depends on what you are looking for . . . So far Yahoo Personals have provided me with the best response and I'm only in my first week. Otherwise . . . <pulls out bull horn> Calling all attractive, decently groomed (meaning you bathe regularly) guys in the range of 25-35! Meg is single!!!! woot woot! Paar- TAY! (how this thread hasn't been shut down yet is beyond me). Anyway, dating is tough. My problem seems to be that I'm ready to settle down and the guys I'm meeting are not. Otherwise we have great times, great chemistry they just aren't ready for a serious commitment. I am. I want someone who I know will stick around in the good and bad times. Someone who will support me and love me no matter what. I want to find someone that I respect and can have fun with. Someone who doesn't just want to go out all the freaking time either. I'm more of a homebody. I don't want to go out and party every night of the week. I'd like to think I'm not overly picky either. Someone who bathes regularly, a guy who doesn't own cats (sorry, no offense meant to anyone I just have not had good luck with guys who are also cat owners. Something tends to be a bit . . .erm . . . off), loves dogs, enjoys staying in, does not live in his mother's basement, has own mode of transportation, somewhat gainfully employed, likes to travel, no kids, ex wives I can handle but kids I'm not down with. Oh and a guy who isn't too clingy either. I mean a certain amount of cling and affection is ok but some guys are very insecure and clingy. Also a guy who is not addicted to WoW is a plus. I like gaming just as much as the next person but I'm not big on MMOs. I prefer old school tabletop games for the most part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizard Hlavaz Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Always the damn bathing with you... Le sigh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fieldarchy Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Whiz for you I'd make the exception Did I already tell you once that I'd marry you? Or was I dreaming that? <scratches head> Anyway, off to class. Gesture drawings are FUN! Hopefully I'll get a better partner to work with today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizard Hlavaz Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Whiz for you I'd make the exception Did I already tell you once that I'd marry you? Or was I dreaming that? <scratches head> Indeed. But I believe it was my inadequate ability to... err... um... apparate... long distances and frequently that soured you on the union. Blast this muggle blood!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltique Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 woah woah woah gamer, employed, good looking and in a band? does he live in his mom's basement? LOL If not, pictures or he doesn't exist!! @fieldarchy I totally feel your pain. That is the exact problem I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie-Paper Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I knew taking a bath regulary would pay off some day. Seriously though it is crazy how things are different from one area to the next. I think it is hard to meet people when you are into the whole going out and drinking or partying scene around these parts. Here in KY I'm not really a sports fan, or nascar fan, and don't drink so it kind of makes me seem a bit odd to those here I guess. I always kind of thought if a woman liked the same kinds of things I do then there must be something wrong with her. It is refreshing to know that there really are people out there. I kind of got burned out on meegint people a few years back after the last young lady I met turned out to be a loon. I know we all have our odd things about us and I was able to look past her having a whole room in her home dedicated to her spell casting, and her collection of vampire porn, but all those cats... man thats a bit much and with me being allergic. Once again my spider sense saved me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristof65 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I'd like to think I'm not overly picky either. Someone who bathes regularly, a guy who doesn't own cats (sorry, no offense meant to anyone I just have not had good luck with guys who are also cat owners. Something tends to be a bit . . .erm . . . off), loves dogs, enjoys staying in, does not live in his mother's basement, has own mode of transportation, somewhat gainfully employed, likes to travel, no kids, ex wives I can handle but kids I'm not down with. Oh and a guy who isn't too clingy either. I mean a certain amount of cling and affection is ok but some guys are very insecure and clingy. Also a guy who is not addicted to WoW is a plus. I like gaming just as much as the next person but I'm not big on MMOs. I prefer old school tabletop games for the most part. Honestly? I think some of that just might be too picky - at least if you're writing them off as a potential before you meet them and/or get to know them. When my wife and I met, I lived in my mothers basement, had cats, and had no transportation of my own, and had only been gainfully employed for 3 weeks. Sounds bad, right? But there was a good reason for everything - I had just moved back to Colorado, and was in the process of a lengthy & expensive divorce - staying with my parents until the disposition of our condo could be taken care of, and I could get a new place. My ex wouldn't take the cats - even though she's the one who brought them into our household, and I felt that if she wasn't going to be responsible for them, I had to be. My car got wrecked the first week of my new job, and I didn't have the money for the deductable yet because I had blown most of my savings in the move and the rest was tied up in the divorce - but I was saving for it out of my first checks from my new job. She was able to look past all that, and take me for me - and even found some of those things admirable - like the fact I was responsible enough to take the cats when my ex-wife's plan was to dump them at the pound. Now, if after a period of dating things weren't visibly progressing - like not taking steps to get my car fixed, or losing my job, or being too "wierd" with the cats - or her figuring out I wasn't completely honest with her - then I could completely understand getting dumped for any of those things. But we never would have clicked if she had written me off for any of them to start with. I see no problem with wanting someone to bathe regularly, or liking dogs (especially if you have them), or liking other things you do, or whether or not they have kids. Those are huge things. But dismissing them simply because they don't own a car, happen to live with their parents, live in a certain town or have a certain type of pet (assuming you're otherwise fine with that animal) - IMO, that's cutting your options down significantly for what may be purely superficial reasons. I'm not saying that to be mean, or scolding, or anything like that - I'm saying it because I know that I was too picky before I met my wife. "She's not pretty enough", or "She's got dogs", or "She's got an ex-husband" were excuses I used not to correspond with certain matches on the various sites I was on. It wasn't until I loosened up my focus and stopped paying attention to superficial things that I met her - nearly 10 years ago now. I think you have to look past some of that superficial stuff, and find out why they are in that situation. The reason why is often a good insight into their character. When my wife and I met, I was nervous about telling her my living and transportation arrangments - fully expecting this wonderful, beautiful woman I had just met to walk away from me - because I had no car at the moment, and was living in my parents basement. Turns out, she had some financial difficulty of her own, and was living in her parents basement while she saved enough for an apartment and a better car. In today's economy, that's not such an unusual thing - the neighbor to the west of me has her daughter and grandchildren living with her because it's a win-win for them. Across the street from me, my neighbor's son still lives with her - because she's a widow, and now that his sister got married and moved away, he's stickign around to take care of the house for her - but he's as fully independant of her at his age (mid 20s) as I was at that age. The girl that dismisses him because he lives with his mother is never going to know the good man she passed over. Anyway, enough preaching - my point is really don't dismiss ALL guys for something like living with their mom or owning cats, just because the few you've happened to have met didn't leave a good impression. It's ok to dismiss the ones who have significant character flaws for which things like living with their parents are merely symptoms - but the symptom doesn't always mean there is a character flaw. Oh, as an interseting side note, technically I still live in my parents basement. My wife and I bought the house from my parents four years ago, but for tax & inheritence reasons, their name is still on the deed, along side ours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fieldarchy Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Kristof, you are making SOME assumptions. I never said they had to own a car. I said they had to have their own mode of transportation. It is a must for someone to be able to travel to a central meeting location unless their vehicle is in the shop or whatever. Now if we are talking a down town scene like when I used to live near the DC area then Metro is fine but I live in Denton TX. A mode of transport is a must. I'm sorry but I just don't like cats. And the number of weird experiences I've had with single guys who own cats--I'm sorry I can't get past that. That's a big turn off for me. As is the catbox smell. As for living in the parents basement if you have a good reason and can justify it then fine. But if you are well into your 30s and living at home just because you can I am sorry but I would have a hard time respecting that. I am 25 and had my own house for 2 years. I look for a certain degree of independence in someone. I need to know they are able and willing to take care of themselves and that they don't need mommy or daddy taking care of them all the time. That's what that statement means. The kids are a no budge thing. I've done that 2 times now and it's too hard. I am not even sure I want kids never mind inheriting someone's kids. And notice I said being somewhat gainfully employed. That means having some sort of job/career or working towards a career. I need to know that someone has a plan for their life, a goal. If you are just sitting at home all day playing video games again you are not going to gain my respect. So instead of just dismissing MY criteria regarding who *I* am looking for ask more questions as to why I have those on my list. At least I didn't say stupid stuff like he has to have brown hair and blue eyes. He has to have a BMW. He has to make 250k a year. That's the kind of stuff a lot of people I know have on their list. Really I don't think I'm being too picky. I just know what I can and cannot put up with. But Kristof we are not looking for a potential husband for you. That is what I am looking for. You may think that's narrow but I think it still leaves a lot of guys open. I didn't limit level of education, career fields, color of eyes, skin, hair, etc. Nor do I limit where I think I may meet Mister Right. It may be online. It may be at school. It may be at a convention, a grocery store, a neighbor, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fieldarchy Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Whiz for you I'd make the exception Did I already tell you once that I'd marry you? Or was I dreaming that? <scratches head> Indeed. But I believe it was my inadequate ability to... err... um... apparate... long distances and frequently that soured you on the union. Blast this muggle blood!!! You don't need magic in your veins. You just need to be willing to take a chance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whizard Hlavaz Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Meg -- Transportation -- feetz Catz -- none out of freezer Staying in -- Yes. See #1. Job -- Um. Yes, please. LIkes to travel -- See #1. Kids -- None that I know of. Ex-wife -- they haven't found her... yet.... Clingy -- Girl, I got things to do. Bathes -- err... WoW -- oh, &$%*@# it!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Hell, when Steve and I met, I lived at my parents' hosue..and they had cats..and I had no regular job..no car. Wow. I must really be a LOZER. I wonder why in heck he's kept me for 16 years. I guess I"m just not short-term-wild-fling-in-the-Bahamas kind of material. Or maybe it's because I make the best chicken alfredo in three counties. Hint to the ladies and laddies. LEARN TO COOK! Naught else matters if you can't keep him well fed...especially if he's a gamer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fieldarchy Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Meg -- Transportation -- feetz Catz -- none out of freezer Staying in -- Yes. See #1. Job -- Um. Yes, please. LIkes to travel -- See #1. Kids -- None that I know of. Ex-wife -- they haven't found her... yet.... Clingy -- Girl, I got things to do. Bathes -- err... WoW -- oh, &$%*@# it!!!! If you would just move out to Texas I'd over look all of that D! I mean really it's the hat that sold me. That's one sexy hat in your picture. What woman could resist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humansquish Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 a guy who doesn't own cats Dang it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vejlin Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 (edited) I understand using some method of initially "roughly sorting" through potential partners, to reject obvious poor matches before spending time to meet... but if your initial "rough sorting" criteria leave no one left you want to spend the time to meet then maybe it's a matter of being picky... or looking in the wrong places. I'm not a huge fan of cats either, but that criterion alone would have rejected my wife before even getting to know her and figuring at that she's the most amazing woman ever. Edited September 18, 2009 by vejlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltique Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 I just start with the following as a guideline: Honesty,loyalty, humor, kid tolerant (I have one) and either likes his life or is working to make it better. I just don't do well with a constant "Oh poor me" plusses are being romantic and not being able to go by that one section in the grocery store without chanting "Spam, Spam Spam Spam" I am just looking for a good guy. Is that so hard? Evidentially. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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