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Moving Home


Nanite
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Well, I got my six months of unemployment, and finding only part time work, I have to move into my parents house.  The federal unemployment extension doesn't apply to me for convoluted reasons.

 

I'm having a rough time with this.  I'm 28, and feel like an utter failure at life right now.  I'm in mourning for the loss of my home.

 

On the pro side, it's nice to have family that love me, and are willing to take me in, I need to focus on that.  Also I'll get out of debt lickitty-split.  I'll also be able to afford buying minis again, and will maybe get some done once I settle.

 

Biggest challenge is going to be cats.  The folks have three, and I've got one.  That's a lot of cats for a smallish place.

 

 

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Nanite, you're not the only one going through this. My situation is slightly different (my dad actually lives with me, and helps out with the bills), but nonetheless you know I have been on the public dole for almost 7 mo as it is. It sucks, and not a day goes by where I don't feel depressed (a "failure at life" as you put it). I still cannot find a job, and have no real prospects or hopes of ever getting a decent job. But still I go on.

 

Incidentally, for anyone else unemployed, I wouldn't drop hobbies as being "unnecessary." Yes, be smart about your money: pass up the great deal on ebay, and maybe just concentrate on a couple figures you know you really want. While my discretionary spending is wa-ay down from when I was employed, I didn't cut it out completely, and spending $25 to $50 a month on figures or stuff is keeping me sane and off the bottle.

 

Damon.

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I was forced to live with my parents for nearly a year when I was 35 while going through my divorce, and subsequent sale of my condo. In some ways it sucked, but on the other hand, it's comforting to have family who cares enough to take me in.

 

I have friends and acquaintances who have no one to fall back on in these types of situations - that thought scares me now.

 

One of the nice things about the hobby of painting and gaming with figures is that most of us have a shelf of shame we can work on when times are lean.

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Yay for being a state-sponsored drain on society!

 

I just lost my job last week... ik_birthday.gif

 

(And promptly went and ordered $50 worth of minis, lol...)

 

The worst part of being unemployed is having so much free time. I don't do well without an organized schedule every day - left to it's own devices, my internal clock runs on about a 30-hour cycle which doesn't work too well with a 24-hour day.

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Thanks for the positive reinforcement guys. It's been scientifically proven that misery loves company.

 

Pity Party! :bday:

 

Damon, I'm the opposite, now I can afford to buy booze and miniatures. Although now that there's someone monitoring my mail, my orders will be decresing too. More money to pay off debt!

 

I think I've got my workspace down to one toolbox, brush caddy, two MSP cases, and a shoebox of Pro Paints/Inks/Foundation paints. Hmm. That doesn't sound all that small.

 

Yay for being a state-sponsored drain on society!

 

I just lost my job last week... ik_birthday.gif

 

(And promptly went and ordered $50 worth of minis, lol...)

 

The worst part of being unemployed is having so much free time. I don't do well without an organized schedule every day - left to it's own devices, my internal clock runs on about a 30-hour cycle which doesn't work too well with a 24-hour day.

Condolences! I learned I can waste time like nobody's business, I learned I love Team Fortress 2, and that my internal clock is also set for sleeping from 3:00am to 11:00am.

 

-Seth

 

 

 

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I feel your pain. At nearly 40, I lost my job last May. I just returned to work yesterday. The last 10 months were a nasty rollercoaster ride of emotions. I'd done nothing wrong, but ended up without a job anyway. I felt like I'd let my family and myself down, and had nothing but tons of time to contemplate that perceived failure.

 

FWIW, Damon is right on the mark about hobbies. They were one of the things that helped keep me sane during unemployment. True, my spending on anything new practically dropped to zero during that time. I stopped having commissions done, and I even suspended my regular D&D game for a while (mostly because my players will eat me out of house and home if I permit it). However, I kept going out and playing Warlord when I could, and eventually resumed my campaign group (on a day and time that permitted them to grab dinner *before* they came over for session :;): ). The ability to do something that cost me little to nothing helped immensely in keeping my spirits up, and my guilt (about spending on a hobby activity) down.

 

Keep your head up, stay positive (especially during job interviews!), and lean on your family and friends for support. Things certainly seem like they are finally starting to turn around from this suck-a economy we've had; you'll come out on the other side. Best of luck to you.

 

~v

 

 

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You don't have to feel bad. It's a common enough occurrence in these modern times. I had to move back in with my folks at 23, after car troubles and lean times at work. As if that wasn't a big enough blow to my ego, I then got chased off my new (actually an old job I went back to because they were the quickest to hire me) job site by a violent ex-con, subsequently was told I had "abandoned [my] post" and was fired, then got dumped by my fiancée. All the while being chased by a collection agency. (Hey, I was very responsible with my credit until the car broke down in LA with no relatives or friends with money to help me!)

 

Took me almost two years to move out of the house again, and then almost another two years to get over being depressed about the whole situation.

 

But you get over these things. Ironically enough considering your avatar, one of the things that helped me was MST3K. They were just starting up the SciFi years when I finally got into my own place again. Saturday mornings watching the reruns of Friday nights' shows after a graveyard shift were the highlight of my week.

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This stuff happens to everybody, and sadly its all too common in our current economy. My sister and her husband both lost their jobs last year and had to sell their house so they wouldn't lose it. She was a vice-president of a hospital and he was an area director for a retail chain.

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To reiterate the points. It's NOT your fault, it DOES happen to everyone and it IS awesome to have family that will take you in to help you out. As someone who de facto has no parents to fall back on, I can tell you that what you have is awesome, given the sad circumstances. And if you're anything like me you'll already have plenty of unpainted pewter to keep the hobby going during the jobless times. Good luck Nanite.

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Good luck to all of you looking for and wanting work these days. My heart and prayers go out to you.

 

Networking being one of the best ways to find employment these days, it might not hurt to post here what you are looking for in a job and where you are willing to work. We here are a pretty big and diverse network of friends and it may be that we may know of a job opening that would work for you in our little corner of the world.

 

Take care,

 

Andy

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But you get over these things. Ironically enough considering your avatar, one of the things that helped me was MST3K. They were just starting up the SciFi years when I finally got into my own place again. Saturday mornings watching the reruns of Friday nights' shows after a graveyard shift were the highlight of my week.

 

Internet High Five!  It's a Prince of Space kind of day.  Which is much better then a Pod People kind of day, but not as good as a Puma Man kind of day.  The worst is a Coleman Francis kind of day.

 

Thanks again for all the positive reinforcement everyone.  And to all in a similar position, my sympathy and prayers.  

 

Now I need to figure out how to get out of my apartment lease.

 

Oh and here's a SUPER-depressing article about how unemployment is horrible on families and communities: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/03/how-a-new-jobless-era-will-transform-america/7919/

 

It's depressing but insightful into the state of mind for those unemployed.

 

 

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I, too, understand what you are going through. This time last year, I lost both my job and my house in quick succession. Fortunately, my younger daughter and her fiance had room for me in their house. Almost a year later, and I am still here. Not what one expects at 50+....My son lives with us, too, as he had moved back here from Arkansas after his relationship broke up. It took him over a year to find a job, and I was unemployed for almost 6 months. I finally did find a new job, back at a place I had worked before, doing almost the same thing I had done before. I am very happy to be back there, even though it meant taking a significant pay cut. Network, network, network - you never know who might have something or know of something that is just up your alley. Hang in there!

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As others have said, it is quite common in this economy and nothing to beat yourself up over. Short term it may appear to suck, but keep a longer term outlook. Further down the road in life, you're going to look back at this time and it's just going to be a little bump, you may even laugh about with family/friends. It's all about perspective. Short term, look at the positive aspects - very little expenses, more time for yourself (hobbies, etc.), if you get some part time/temp work, you get to keep the money instead of throwing it away just to "exist". Just try to think of it as a kind of a vacation, but you're not really traveling anywhere =)

 

In regards to breaking the lease, there are a number of options and I'm no lawyer, but have had bad neighbors, smoke leaking into my apartment, etc. and had to terminate early too. The easiest is to talk to the landlord, explain that you have no income or savings left and need to move out as you're planning. Giving them 30 days notice is fair and the courteous thing to do. If they won't budge on letting you out, then tell them you will stay there rent free until they get a court ordered eviction. This is a huge pain for them and most of the time they will just let you out. I would move out when you're planning anyway, then when you don't pay rent on the 1st, they will send you a "notice to quit" for non-payment of rent, which is essentially them terminating the lease agreement anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

But you get over these things. Ironically enough considering your avatar, one of the things that helped me was MST3K. They were just starting up the SciFi years when I finally got into my own place again. Saturday mornings watching the reruns of Friday nights' shows after a graveyard shift were the highlight of my week.

 

Internet High Five!  It's a Prince of Space kind of day.  Which is much better then a Pod People kind of day, but not as good as a Puma Man kind of day.  The worst is a Coleman Francis kind of day.

 

Thanks again for all the positive reinforcement everyone.  And to all in a similar position, my sympathy and prayers.  

 

Now I need to figure out how to get out of my apartment lease.

 

Oh and here's a SUPER-depressing article about how unemployment is horrible on families and communities: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/03/how-a-new-jobless-era-will-transform-america/7919/

 

It's depressing but insightful into the state of mind for those unemployed.

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Thank you all again for the advice, and the sharing of stories.  It's really helped.  And my sympathies again to everyone who's getting gut punched by this world.  

 

I'm looking forward to being home again, my folks and I share a lot of friends, we'll BBQ, and I can teach my dad to play miniature games, now that we both have time to play!

 

I've got one more month in the apartment, and the office has been really helpful, so no problem breaking the lease, huzzah!

 

Now I just need to do the actual moving.  A bit of a drag that, I only had one small case full of minis when I moved out.  Now...  More then that. :wacko:  Minis and other stuff.  Stupid stuff.

 

 

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