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Evil Empire has Evil Customer Service - Surprised?

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I don't mind GW, but I do very much hate when I go into a place and it's all they have. And then I'm looking around, and one of the neckbeards comes up and asks if I'm looking for a miniature. And then when I ask "y'all gots any Reaper?" I get the hard sell on why Games Workshop is WAY BETTER and YOU SHOULD PLAY WARHAMMER and then twenty minutes later he's bleeding, I'm 'splaining myself to the cops, and all I ever really wanted was a frackin Dennis Mize sexy barbarian chick in impractical armor. Just ain't right.
There, there, Buglips. I understand completely. Here, have a drink this nice old lady gave me. She said its made out of apples. ...Mostly apples... ... She also warned me not to store it in metal containers, and that if I wasn't careful it would take the hair off the cat.

 

lmfao...

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I don't mind GW, but I do very much hate when I go into a place and it's all they have. And then I'm looking around, and one of the neckbeards comes up and asks if I'm looking for a miniature. And then when I ask "y'all gots any Reaper?" I get the hard sell on why Games Workshop is WAY BETTER and YOU SHOULD PLAY WARHAMMER and then twenty minutes later he's bleeding, I'm 'splaining myself to the cops, and all I ever really wanted was a frackin Dennis Mize sexy barbarian chick in impractical armor.

 

Just ain't right.

There, there, Buglips. I understand completely. Here, have a drink this nice old lady gave me. She said its made out of apples.

 

...Mostly apples...

 

... She also warned me not to store it in metal containers, and that if I wasn't careful it would take the hair off the cat.

 

(Great. There goes my keyboard.)

 

Not her cat, though.

 

Y'ever read her cookbook? Great fun.

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So, like, I totally didn't get the reference so I googled for "juice, mostly apple, not safe for metal container will make cat bald" and all I got was a pile of links to Snapple.

 

So . . . well, now we know that's poison.

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So, like, I totally didn't get the reference so I googled for "juice, mostly apple, not safe for metal container will make cat bald" and all I got was a pile of links to Snapple.

 

So . . . well, now we know that's poison.

*laughs* It's a reference to Nanny Ogg in Discworld who makes a drink called Scrumble. It's legendary in Discworld for its potency.

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Ah, Pratchett. I have not read any, but a lot of people seem to assume I have. That's like the number one thing I hear behind "get a bath".

You should read it! The latest novel in the Discworld series, Snuff, even has goblins!

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Soft sell! Soft sell! There's still a chance I might do it!

 

Not like Game of Thrones, which I won't be able to enjoy until, like, 2035 when nobody cares about it anymore.

 

 

ETA: Which is still a lot better than Monty Python, which was completely destroyed for me long before I ever actually got a chance to watch one. Python fans are the worst murderers of joy on the planet. Doubly, nay, triply so if they also happen to be drama club people. Those people deserve to do hard time for their crimes.

 

ETA 2: Also Hitchhiker's Guide. Murdered before I got to crack a book. Never to be enjoyed. Probably would have liked that, too.

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ETA 2: Also Hitchhiker's Guide. Murdered before I got to crack a book. Never to be enjoyed. Probably would have liked that, too.

 

Try the audio books, or the BBC Radio Plays. They are excellent to listen to whilst painting.

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ETA 2: Also Hitchhiker's Guide. Murdered before I got to crack a book. Never to be enjoyed. Probably would have liked that, too.

 

Try the audio books, or the BBC Radio Plays. They are excellent to listen to whilst painting.

 

It's not the format, it's the fans - the ones who didn't quite get that while it's ok to be enthused about something they enjoy, there is an acceptable limit. And that's why hearing somebody say "so long, and thanks for all the fish" puts me into a right stabby mood.

 

ETA: Pratchett is still in the safe zone for now, I want to keep him there. He comes highly recommended from an unimpeachable source, and that's why I want the soft sell. Nice and easy.

 

But if I encounter one or two of his more rabid fans? Binned, getouttahere, never read.

 

ETA 2: Which is why I have a shelf full of Robert Jordan I'll never read.

 

ETA 3: Actually, Jordan might be the worst now that I'm reliving those memories. I got all the WoT up to that point in one go, I think at a used bookstore. Hardcover, sweet condition. Brought them home, planned to read after finishing some other stuff. Put them on shelf.

 

Meet nice girl. Week or so later, invite nice girl over. Nice girl sees Jordan books. "Oh, you're a Robert Jordan fan?"

 

Me: "Uh, well, not . . . "

 

Girl: "Me too! I just loved words words words words words WORDS WORDS WORDS words words words WORDS WORDS WORDS" for 30 minutes.

 

Me: "I see."

 

Girl goes home later.

 

I crouch down and look at books. Hard, flinty look on my face.

 

Me: "I want you to know, really know, books - that the only reason I won't destroy you now is because you are books, and all books are precious."

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That's okay a shelf full of Robert Jordan isn't worth reading anyway. They do make good paperweights though.

Edited by Heisler
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That's okay a shelf full of Robert Jordan isn't worth reading anyway. They do make good paperweights though.

 

*shrug* I'll never know. Still, would have been nice to have had the choice to find out.

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ETA: Pratchett is still in the safe zone for now, I want to keep him there. He comes highly recommended from an unimpeachable source, and that's why I want the soft sell. Nice and easy.

 

But if I encounter one or two of his more rabid fans? Binned, getouttahere, never read.

 

ETA 2: Which is why I have a shelf full of Robert Jordan I'll never read.

Rabid fans don't do me in. I was one myself. What does me in is 'Book 1 of a 12 (or more!) epic story that will be release 1 every 2-4 years'

 

Arghhhhhhh... Yeah, so Robert Jordan? Gave up on it when I realized how long it will go on. And why I haven't started Game of Thrones.

 

Discworld is a humor/fantasy series, but they each stand on their own. So while there are running gags (Nanny Ogg's Scrumble, the fact that any wizards lab will have a mummified alligator, the fact that no race wants to claim Nobby Nobs as a member) you don't have to have read alllll the previous books to have the newest one make sense and be funny. I usually recommend people read the ones that skewer their favorite (or least favorite) fiction/fantasy tropes.

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Oh, and I'm not picking on you Argentee. That recommendation is downright reasonable, in fact. Not even a hint of rabidity. But I feared the thread was primed to turn into Fan Discussion, and that would absolutely kill it dead as road possum.

 

I want to read these. I've missed too many neat things because of spontaneous FD.

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ETA 2: Also Hitchhiker's Guide. Murdered before I got to crack a book. Never to be enjoyed. Probably would have liked that, too.

 

Try the audio books, or the BBC Radio Plays. They are excellent to listen to whilst painting.

 

It's not the format, it's the fans - the ones who didn't quite get that while it's ok to be enthused about something they enjoy, there is an acceptable limit. And that's why hearing somebody say "so long, and thanks for all the fish" puts me into a right stabby mood.

 

ETA: Pratchett is still in the safe zone for now, I want to keep him there. He comes highly recommended from an unimpeachable source, and that's why I want the soft sell. Nice and easy.

 

But if I encounter one or two of his more rabid fans? Binned, getouttahere, never read.

 

ETA 2: Which is why I have a shelf full of Robert Jordan I'll never read.

 

ETA 3: Actually, Jordan might be the worst now that I'm reliving those memories. I got all the WoT up to that point in one go, I think at a used bookstore. Hardcover, sweet condition. Brought them home, planned to read after finishing some other stuff. Put them on shelf.

 

Meet nice girl. Week or so later, invite nice girl over. Nice girl sees Jordan books. "Oh, you're a Robert Jordan fan?"

 

Me: "Uh, well, not . . . "

 

Girl: "Me too! I just loved words words words words words WORDS WORDS WORDS words words words WORDS WORDS WORDS" for 30 minutes.

 

Me: "I see."

 

Girl goes home later.

 

I crouch down and look at books. Hard, flinty look on my face.

 

Me: "I want you to know, really know, books - that the only reason I won't destroy you now is because you are books, and all books are precious."

 

RJ is a decent read, but epicly long (and repetitive). Pratchett is a favorite, and all I can say is get some to read before someone scares you off. It really is good. Of course, I'm a rabid fan, but I like to hold my rabidity in check. ;) IF you're interested in more, I will gladly PM you my (non-rabid) advice on Pratchett.

 

But seriosuly, if you've never read any of the Hitchhiker's, give the radio plays a shot. Then you can hit all the fans in the head with a gold brick wrapped with a lemon slice.

-Dave

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Believe it or not, the first Pratchett recommendation (several years ago) sold me on it. But she's a special case. All she has to do is hold up something, say "good", and that's all I need. Sold.

 

I just have to get through all the other previously recommended things first. Plus other stuff. I read like 20 books a week.

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