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My M-I-L died in the night


Pingo
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Very sorry for your loss, Pingo. Our family lost my wonderful m-i-l December 12th last year, and this weekend we are having her Celebration of Life. It is hard to go through, and everyone grieves differently, but if you need to talk to a friendly ear about ANYTHING, send me a PM. Sometimes that helps hold on to your sanity.

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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Pingo. Take the time you need, cry, comfort each other. Feel free to come here and babble when you need to. PM me if you like. Hug your husband and children.

 

This board and your friends on it will be here when you get back.

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I lost my dad last November (some folks might recall me having a major blowout and screaming fit that got me banned for a month right around then; now you know why). It was incredibly sudden -- he had liver cancer, and had been lying to everyone about what was happening. We all thought he was going to the doctor because of back pain issues, and then one day out of the blue he just announces "I have liver cancer, the doctors give me a month." Two weeks later he was gone. It just destroyed me, I was so unprepared for it.

 

Now its been a few months, and it still hurts -- I just teared up writing that last paragraph, so the emotions are still raw. It was really rough right around Christmas when I realized I wasn't going to be getting any presents, or our yearly Christmas phone call, from him ever again. But it hurts less. Every day it hurts less.

 

That's all I wanted to say: I know where you're at, and I know what it feels like to be going through this, and I just want to remind you that eventually it hurts less. I can't promise it ever stops hurting, but eventually it does hurt less. When it feels like its too much, just focus on that and keep going forward. It's all you can do.

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So so sorry for your loss. Don't forget to take the time for yourself to grieve while you run around keeping the family together. If you were lucky and hit the MiL lottery like I did the loss can be so hard. People tend to focus on the children and grandchildren and forget about us inlaws losing someone we loved too. My MiL passed last April and it was devastating to us all. My fellow inlaws all joked about how we wished she was a monster in law so we only had to pretend to mourn her loss so it wouldn't hurt so bad. Take care. So sorry for your loss.

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Thank you, everyone, for your kind words. It's been ... very odd, and some of us have taken it harder than others. Equilibrium has not yet settled on the household, but the family seems to be doing okay.

 

And thank you.

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You have my deepest empathy, and condolences.

 

This is a good place to come, and sort of feel a little more normal. I lost my stepfather at the end of January, after a really hideous autumn (he'd been in the hospital since September, we lost pretty much everything to Hurricane Sandy, he and my mother lost their home too, among other horrible stuff...). I avoided pretty much anything gaming/painting/mini related, because my heart definitely wasn't in it. That's why I disappeared from here for months. Upon returning a few weeks ago, I realized my mistake. I think it would have lessened the impact of everything if I took some time for myself, and to pursue my interests and be involved here, because it's everything you mentioned. I imposed some kind of weird austerity on myself, like I shouldn't be having fun, my life sucks right now, and therefore, I think I made it suck harder. Does that make sense? In a weird way, there's healing here, that's my point.

 

Anyway, we're all here for you. Glad things are stabilizing.

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