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Randomness Challenge! Tangents Only Thread


Girot
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I'm so sick of winter that I'm this close to burning my house down for insurance money so I can flee to Cuba.

 

It might be a dictatorship, but at least they don't have snow.

Feel free to send me all of your excess snow!

 

 

Cash and Carry only.

 

Seriously, though - I had a plan this year. This year would be different. I have the monster truck super extreme heavy duty annihilator snowblower. With fresh gas. And gas refresh. And new oil. And electric start. Brand new, super mint, totally pristine.

 

And it doesn't work. Won't start.

 

There is no reason for it not to work, it simply doesn't. It doesn't feel it, bro.

 

I'm now convinced this house is just full of evil spirits. And so not only does my snowblower not work, but like every two days the sky dumps snow. There's already a bigger pile out there after like a week and a half than was piled up all of last winter. And it's the same cursed deal, too: big dump, warm weather, deep freeze right after. Just to make sure it's all super heavy and has to be done immediately.

 

I'm tempted to say screw it, and just bunker down until spring. I still have all that creamed corn, I'm good for a few months.

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Seriously, though - I had a plan this year. This year would be different. I have the monster truck super extreme heavy duty annihilator snowblower. With fresh gas. And gas refresh. And new oil. And electric start. Brand new, super mint, totally pristine.

 

And it doesn't work. Won't start.

 

There is no reason for it not to work, it simply doesn't. It doesn't feel it, bro.

 

I'm now convinced this house is just full of evil spirits. And so not only does my snowblower not work, but like every two days the sky dumps snow. There's already a bigger pile out there after like a week and a half than was piled up all of last winter. And it's the same cursed deal, too: big dump, warm weather, deep freeze right after. Just to make sure it's all super heavy and has to be done immediately.

 

I'm tempted to say screw it, and just bunker down until spring. I still have all that creamed corn, I'm good for a few months.

 

Maybe some hooman put a little plastic safety cap someplace that has to be found an removed? or some such...

 

...otherwise: Goblins tunnel pretty well, do they not?

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This ship is bound and determined to drive me to madness or homicide. Or both.

 

Standing the 16 to midnight watch now, despite:

 

*being officially checked off, no longer part of the crew

*being expected on my next ship 0800 tomorrow morning

*already working 9ish hours today shifting the ship to the yards

 

I always said I'd stop sailing when it stopped being fun. We are reaching that point, I think. If the next ship is even half so mismanaged and dysfunctional as this one has been, than I need to start looking into private sector jobs, maybe down in the Gulf...

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Also, part of my complaint is because I have a neighbour with a heart condition who lives alone. And because I'm a pretty good guy, that pretty much means I'm clearing him out, too.

 

Y'know, rather than find him dead in a snowbank.

 

This has provided me with the opportunity to enjoy all the annoyance of above, plus an additional driveway and walkway.

 

I think this is why many of my kind turn evil. Because being good is hard. And a pain in the butt. I might just switch to criminal and set fire to things, see if my luck improves. :upside:

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So glad Christmas is over so I can listen to the radio again.

 

Next year, I'm celebrating Shinji-mas... He whined for your sins...

So glad Christmas is over so I can listen to the radio again.

 

Next year, I'm celebrating Shinji-mas... He whined for your sins...

I'm always annoyed that they start playing Christmas music way early and get people sick of it and then stop dead on only the *second* of the *twelve* days of Christmas. ::(:

 

I like hearing Christmas music through Three Kings Day.

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