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Getting to Know Each Other--Dec 2014


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Question 26: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

 

Hmmmm my second guessing. I second guess every single thing I do, which I suppose reflects my confidence. I'm rarely ever able to finish anything because I sometimes feel that I can always do more. More more more.

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Question 26: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

 

This is a hard question to answer.  Part of me wishes that I had the drive to do more exercise - for health reasons if nothing else.  The problem is that I don't have a lot of personal time at the best of times.  If I had that drive to do more exercise, would I end up with no hobby time at all?  

 

That worries me.

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Question 26: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

It's interesting the answers everyone has.

 

I'm another one for procrastination.  Like Qwik, I tend to do my best work under pressure (great for my naval career, horrible for my private life).  I have plenty of plans (man am I good with coming up with plans) but I usually don't follow then to completion.  I also do what I have to do, but given any choice in the matter I put things off.

 

When I think of all of the time that I have wasted when I could have been productive (finishing my degree, projects around the house, hobbies, staying fit), it can be somewhat depressing.  I have to realize that what is past is the past and I can't get that time back so no need dwelling on it.  I just have to make the most of my time going forward.

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I'd make it so I don't get vertigo. Traveling is always a bit of a gamble, I get motion sick so easily. The enjoyment of rollercoasters is purely conjectural to me. Just a few minutes of $&@#% jiggy-cam can make me ill for hours.

 

I can manage train and auto travel with care; being able to take planes and boats without ill effect would be kind of nice.

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I wrote a more lengthy response but the internet ate it. The gist of it was: over thinking. Procrastination and indecision are products of over thinking for me.

 

At the same time, this quality has benefits as well. Due to this I am hesitant to actually change anything drastic.

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Oooh, that's a hard question. Not difficult to answer, just...hard. There's several things about myself that I've wanted changed, but over the years I've come to accept and/or embrace them. For example, my perfectionistic/OCD brain is such a part of me now that I would actually be sad to lose it. Yes, it can get in my way, especially when I'm tired and/or stressed, but it comes in such handy when it comes to organizing things! :) My appearance is also something I've grown into; yes, there's a couple things that if I could change them in an instant I would, but overall I'm happy with myself. :D

 

What I would change about myself, though, is something several other forum members have already mentioned: my tendency to procrastinate everything. This inability to effectively manage my time has cost me a job, made schooling difficult, and caused endless frustration to my loved ones, friends, teachers, etc.  I've tried planners, schedules, timers, alarms, calenders, etc., but nothing seems to stick, and I don't know why:down:

 

So, yes, if I could hack out that part of myself and burn it with fire, I totally would.  :angry:

 

Huzzah

--OneBoot :D

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Question 26: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

So, I was going to leave my previous answer as "good enough", but I've decided to answer this one after all. (This isn't going to be easy, so bear with me here.)

 

8 years ago this month, my wife and I lost our daughter. She was 5 1/5 months old. Since then I've been diagnosed with: mild ADD, clinical depression, PTSD, severe social anxiety, insomnia, and agoraphobia (fear of crowds and crowded places). All linked to that event, and all linked by the PTSD. It's why I don't do holidays when my wife isn't here; if I'm not doing the holiday for somebody, I don't have the emotional ability to do it at all. I'm a product of the "suck it up and drive on" military, and this new-fangled "resiliency" garbage just turns my stomach. So...I deal with it. I work. I paint. I try not to think about it. But this time of year, every year, I get kind of detached from the world around me, and think about it. A lot. It's hard not to, you know?

 

So, really, there isn't just one thing that I could change about myself if I had the ability to. All of my issues go hand-in-hand with each other, and I'd have to change them all to change one. Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to change them, but the meds turned me into a functional-zombie, and talking about it to a "therapist" isn't all it's cracked up to be.

 

I wasn't sure I wanted to share that, but...I guess somewhere deep down I wanted to, otherwise I wouldn't have. Right?

 

And I honestly don't want to hear anything about condolences and/or sympathies. I love (most of) you guys/gals like family, but I've had enough of those over the last 8 years, and it starts to sound disingenuous after the first few months.

 

 

 

tl;dr: I'd change the chemical imbalances in my brain. All of them.

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