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I could use some help pushing this forward. I have just about reached the end of what I am willing to do with this piece. But I really want to make it better. The concept is an adventuring party stumbles on a pool on the beach and everyone cautiously approaches, well almost everyone. There is always someone in the party who just has to provoke the easy kill.

 

All done with DSM critters. I still plan to add some beach grasses and with the pictures, I can see some blending and touch up issues but I would really welcome some critique on where I can improve these guys. Between work travel and some medical issues I haven't had the time to paint that I would like and my entries are reduced

 

The pieces are in their pin holes but not attached yet as I'm still messing around with positioning. If closeups are helpful I can still take them

 

Thanks for any advice you care to share!

 

 

Roo

 

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Edited by Kangaroorex
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Off the top of my head as things strike me. Your base is to big and everything is to spread out. In other words because its so big you are losing focus. Bring everyone in much tighter and consider losing at least one of the minis. The base is lacking contrast and everything is kind of blending together which is also affecting the focus. Part of it is the white you used to separate the cobblestones, I would be tempted to substitute blue liner for the white or light grey that you used. It should help everything pop a bit more than it is.

 

I think you need to change the cloak color of the mini with the quarterstaff, he's just blending straight into the cobblestones and getting lost, so much so I think you could drop him and not affect your story. Story is the next thing. I'm having problems seeing the "story" if you hadn't explained it I would be hard pressed to figure out what's going on. I think you may need to rethink it a bit. Of course those are my opinions, take them or leave them as you like.

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That's very helpful. Diorama and basing work are still pretty new to me. I tend to think real life, in which case I am trying to get more space between the ranger and the rest of the party. I will say that lighting did not help my cause. Too much light, the rocks are a dark gray. I had intended it to look like some of the beaches where I grew up, with white sand between the dark gray rocks that dry to a light gray top.

 

Wouldn't the blue liner leave me staring at what is essentially asphalt? I would pretty much lose all contrast between the rocks.

 

I'll see if I can pull in the thief take out the gray cloak and see if I can take a couple inches off the base. For the story I can wimp out and go with "adventuring party", which although blander, is an easier story to tell.

 

But thank you, it also explains why, to me, most mini dioramas look much too crowded and too busy. I always wondered about that.

 

Thanks again for the input

 

Roo

Edited by Kangaroorex
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Maybe darken the ground a bit?  It seems to make the minis blend a little well....

 

I do like the water fountain/pool, but maybe decrease base size by about a third?

 

I'm always nervous about doing dioramas myself.... so not the best to give detailed feedback....

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One can only learn by doing. And reapercon is an excellent opportunity to get feedback without malice. Fortunately I can move things around and I should be able to lose a chunk of the base without damage.

 

Below may be a better sized base, now how to keep the hedgehogs from blocking each other. Once I get sizing better I can cut the excess piece off and try some differenT colors.

 

Here is some repositioning and less glaring light

 

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maybe break up the blue base with some brush, larger stones or something to explain why the group is spread out? Or stage a large rocky outcrop behind the pool, some brush along the backside of the base and pick a viewing angle.  The mouse that's half-turned looks like he could hold back one of the other minis instead of the cautious group- perhaps use him next to the pool like you have, then put the curious one trying to step past him... both of them with then be caught in the trap!  Could the others hide behind rocks? Could you use the water weird attacking out of the pool?

 

Just thinking out loud...

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That's very helpful. Diorama and basing work are still pretty new to me. I tend to think real life, in which case I am trying to get more space between the ranger and the rest of the party. I will say that lighting did not help my cause. Too much light, the rocks are a dark gray. I had intended it to look like some of the beaches where I grew up, with white sand between the dark gray rocks that dry to a light gray top.

 

Wouldn't the blue liner leave me staring at what is essentially asphalt? I would pretty much lose all contrast between the rocks.

 

I'll see if I can pull in the thief take out the gray cloak and see if I can take a couple inches off the base. For the story I can wimp out and go with "adventuring party", which although blander, is an easier story to tell.

 

But thank you, it also explains why, to me, most mini dioramas look much too crowded and too busy. I always wondered about that.

 

Thanks again for the input

 

Roo

 

I have decided I would make a horrible diorama judge since I tend to like the look of spread out things myself.  I would agree however that the white sand and light grey rocks create a contrast problem with your minis.  Aside from making the minis '80s vibrant the only other suggestion I have is to abandon reality and make the areas between the rocks really dark.  The downside though is that will make the whole base look like stone rather than sandy.

 

maybe break up the blue base with some brush, larger stones or something to explain why the group is spread out?

Simple explanation:  They've been through a dungeon written by Gygax and know that grouping together leads to a TPK.  If they spread out a bit before they poke the water with their 10' pole it increases the likelihood that one of them will survive whatever comes next.

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Playing around with tightening the focus and changing the story. My thought is to change the quarterstaff mouses robe to a medium green and lose the thief. Now everyone is centered on the pool and we lose about 2 inches off the end. Once I cut the nlend off I will try darkening between the stones with blue liner

 

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I like that quite a bit better. There seems to be more obvious communication between the different members of the group even though they are visually quite separate. I would like to see the other hedgehog added back to the scene just to see how it looks. For whatever reason we tend to prefer things in odd numbers and an odd number will strike a better chord with the judges. Not that even numbers can't work and work well, there is just something psychological that makes odd numbers appeal to us (I'm sure it has something to do with having an odd number of fingers, but your guess is as good and perhaps better than mine).

 

Something to frame the scene would be good too. It doesn't have to be a wall or ruins or anything like that it could be as simple as a hedge or a line of grass tuffs in one corner. Some reeds or something similar in the water would be nice too, perhaps dead ones, which would help show that whatever is in the water is not a nice creature.

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Okay with much whimpering ::): I have shrunk the diorama. Next placement incarnation. I moved the two front mice so they show their fronts to the center of the diorama instead of the I backs. I was going to put the thief into the middle but hedgehog,hedgehog, hamster wasn't working for me. Hedgehog, hamster hedgehog seems to work better. I'm also not sure if the goo on the end of his sword is working for me anymore either.

 

So here is the threesome duking it out with a slime

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And with te ranger instead...

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And the five set being much mor difficult...

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Maybe the threesome with some well ruins and weeds on the side?

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