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It was last night, when I was assembling my Trailer Park Boys miniatures, the ones that will live in the Trailer Park of the Damned, with the Airfix trailers and the hand built convenience store, when the zombie apocalypse begins, and the objectives will include raiding the convenience store for supplies, and turning on the generator in the parking lot to power the floodlights... without getting pounded by the Tank.

See, I was carefully adding the little glass in Julian's hand, the one that ALWAYS holds a rum and coke, even in that one episode where he rolled the $***mobile twice and it came to rest upside down and he crawled out the driver's side window... still holding his drink... which he hadn't spilled. Julian ALWAYS has a rum and coke in his hand in almost EVERY scene in EVERY episode, and his figure wouldn't have been complete unless he was holding a rum and coke, see? I have yet to manage Non-Liquor-Liquor painting, like NLL, y'know? But I figured if I painted it cinnamon brown, maybe with flickers of white for the ice cubes, I'd be okay...

...and then I dropped the dratted thing, right down between my knees. I heard it hit the tile. But that meant nothing.

I loved the Wild West Steampunk Oz minis when they came out, and I bought them soon as Bob and Julie showed them to me at Reapercon, but MY Dorothy isn't holding a pistol. Why? Because I dropped the dratted hand holding it, and it fell between my knees into the Oblivion Beneath My Feet. I wound up having to use a different hand, one holding a sawed off shotgun; my other pistol hands were too big for Dorothy's petite frame.

The floor in the Craft Room I share with She Who Dances With Mouselings has the horrible white flokati carpet, the carpet that came with the house, the carpet I've been tearing out a bit at a time and replacing with floor tiles. She hates the flokati carpet, and so do I, because it's the shag carpet from hell, gawdawful white long shag that grabs and consumes anything, like a horrible D&D monster from a late first edition supplement written by geeks who were upside down at the time on whiskey and terrible drugs. 

My home has never had cockroaches. Occasionally we find a dessicated mouse skeleton in the garage. I wonder if the carpet eats them, too. But I digress.

After I lost a Bones gnome in that dratted carpet, I kind of lost my mind. She Who Dances With Mouselings bought me this gorgeous enormous rolltop desk around that time, and in a fit of rage, I tore out the carpet in that entire corner of the hobby room and replaced it with tile. BEGONE, o figure-eating shag abomination!!!

The carpet chunks are in the garage now, in front of the washing machine, to spare poor bare feet the ravages of cold cement in Colorado winters. I shook it out, expecting to see Dorothy's gun, a Bones gnome, a couple of Crazy Cat Lady cats, and the left arm of Murkillor The Wraith King, among other bits, fall from its periphery like metal rain. They did not. The carpet had long since digested them. But now I had tile beneath my feet at the workbench. The Hellcarpet would murder no more.

Or so I thought.

I wound up having to improvise another bit to represent Julian's drink. I KNOW where the rotten thing FELL. I heard it. Heard where it fell. But when I shone a flashlight there, the rum and coke was gone. Had the same problem a couple of hours later with Bubbles, when I attempted to affix one of his kitties to the base. It fell, and I heard the tick. But when I sought it out? Nowhere. Wound up having to cannibalize yet another kitty from the Crazy Cat Lady. 

While the glue was drying, I crawled beneath the rolltop with the flashlight and went prospecting. After a good five minutes, I found the kitty... three feet from where I had heard it fall. Another ten minutes yielded Julian's drink; it was over in the corner of the room, where it could NOT possibly have bounced or rolled.

What IS it about the oblivion beneath my feet? Do things bounce? Do they teleport away? Are the laws of physics altered between my knees or something? It would certainly explain my last marriage....

Does anyone ELSE have problems like this when gluing bits to other bits? Or, like Rhonda Bender and her ilk, do your projects simply magically take shape, without error, effort, or droppage?


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Yes. Many are the things I have dropped. Many are the things that have never been recovered, even after moving every last item from the room and carefully vaccuuming then checking the bag....


I swear they go to the same place as sock pairs.

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I paint with some kitchen towel on my lap and that manages to catch most things.


The only problem is when the pieces bounce of my legs and go down the side of the sofa, and that's no longer the horror story it used to be (when my little doggie was still with us, he had a habit of hiding food down there, so you would reach in for a tiny arm or something and come back with an ancient, furry piece of sausage).

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Sounds like you've got a bad case of Quantum Tunneling. Obviously there is an anomalous spacetime bubble under your desk where the laws of Quantum Mechanics are writ large.


There's a way you can be sure. You'll need to get a cat, a box and a vial of cyanide...





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 As soon as I begin to experience losing my grip on something (other than reality, of course) or I knock something over, I immediately focus the entirety of my being on mentally tracking it's trajectory as it falls, listening for the sounds of it hitting anything and doing the mental calculations for plotting it's landing points.

(Of course, it helps that I may actually be slightly psychic (on my mother's side), lol...)


Although it doesn't help with plastic bits as much, when you lose something under your table instead of holding the light at an angle that you'd use for looking for something, hold it at an acute angle, play it back and forth fairly quickly and watch for the play of light over a metal surface (or a difference in the way the light plays over surfaces it's shining on if you lost something plastic)...

It's almost always easier to spot a change in the way the light reflects due to a difference in material or color than to find a particular thing by looking for it's shape.

Edited by Mad Jack
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My eyes aren't what they used to be. Once, I could paint tiny belt buckles and the white reflection against the irises of 25mm eyes with inhuman precision and my microscopic vision. Now I use a magnifying visor, and when a teeny bounces off my thigh and plummets to the Oblivion Beneath My feet, there's no way I can visually track it. At best, my ears, which are no worse than they were after The Who's farewell tour when I sat way too close to the speakers, can hear the tiny and distant "tic" as it hits the floor... where half the time, it will still be.

Other half of the time, it bounces further than the laws of physics would seem to allow. Every so often, gravity goes sideways and sends it into the corner of the room. Once in a while, it will succumb to the magnetic gaze of the remaining flokati carpet. And a good quarter of the time, it seems to fall into an invisible wormhole that apparently leads to the layers of the Abyss, or to Froggy's workbench, or perhaps the back door of a hamburger joint in Maine in 1958. I couldn't tell you.

Although it does make me feel better to think it happens to other people, too. Now I just need to figure out how this relates to the alternate universe that sometimes impinges on my closet. I am quite sure I never bought a copy of "Snit's Revenge," and yet, there it sits, between Walking Dead Risk and the quilt batting that She Who Dances With Mouselings hasn't used yet...

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I found not only the stud, but the backing, of my daughter's new earring that had fallen out in my parent's 26' diameter above ground pool.  And it was the inaugural opening, so it still had the leaf litter at the bottom which we were going to vacuum.  Took about an hour and a half with a snorkel, but I found them both!


They were her first earrings, and my wife had treated Erin and actually gotten her real stones in the earring.  At first, I only wanted to find them because I was worried they were going to pierce the lining of the pool or hurt someone if they stepped on it.  But then, when my wife told me they were actually not cheap, beginner studs with colored glass, but actual stones.  It became a mission.


I tend not to lose stuff.  Whether through superb eyesight or sheer stubbornness, it does not get lost.

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So, funny and related story. When my Papaw passed away we inherited all his firearms. One of them was an old Remington single shot .22 rifle that my Great Grandfather had used to shoot starlings out of his cherry tree using rat shot. Because of the nature of the old rat shot with the crimped cases he eventually broke the extractor. The Dad and I decided to buy the $5 worth of parts and repair it. We must have lost that little spring a dozen times, only to find it some time later somewhere in the room in the carpet. Eventually we got it fixed, but it's a miracle. 

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A couple of months ago I spent *ages* searching for a base that I dropped on the floor.  I had put some green stuff on it to stamp a texture into, and I was anxious not to tread it into my carpet.  I searched and searched but I couldn't find it anywhere.  Until bedtime, when I discovered that it had been stuck to my sock the whole time. :rolleyes:

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I found not only the stud, but the backing, of my daughter's new earring that had fallen out in my parent's 26' diameter above ground pool.  And it was the inaugural opening, so it still had the leaf litter at the bottom which we were going to vacuum.  Took about an hour and a half with a snorkel, but I found them both!


They were her first earrings, and my wife had treated Erin and actually gotten her real stones in the earring.  At first, I only wanted to find them because I was worried they were going to pierce the lining of the pool or hurt someone if they stepped on it.  But then, when my wife told me they were actually not cheap, beginner studs with colored glass, but actual stones.  It became a mission.


I tend not to lose stuff.  Whether through superb eyesight or sheer stubbornness, it does not get lost.


"Voyage To The Bottom Of The Pool." I approve entirely. For your little girl, no effort is too great.


I'm amazed I got this far without anyone asking me about Trailer Park Boys miniatures. Are there no Canadians on these boards?

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