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Dr. Bedlam's Bawdy Tales


Dr.Bedlam
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Because it has been requested, I am going to try something new. 

The link below leads to a story that happened to me last year. It is linked due to containing one dirty word.

Let me know if the link works, and if I should continue this project/thread/exercise in narcissism...

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/bass-ter/953286354693870

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Because it has been requested, I am going to try something new. 

 

The link below leads to a story that happened to me last year. It is linked due to containing one dirty word.

 

Let me know if the link works, and if I should continue this project/thread/exercise in narcissism...

 

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/bass-ter/953286354693870

Works for me, and I laughed like a... well, you know. ::P: 

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Because it has been requested, I am going to try something new. 

 

The link below leads to a story that happened to me last year. It is linked due to containing one dirty word.

 

Let me know if the link works, and if I should continue this project/thread/exercise in narcissism...

 

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/bass-ter/953286354693870

Works for me, and I laughed like a... well, you know. ::P:

 

So did I!

 

That last one doesn't work, though.

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This one is safe, although it involves multiple counts of attempted murder.

http://forum.reapermini.com/index.php?/topic/53169-green-death-hidden-moron/?hl=%2Bgreen+%2Bdeath+%2Bhidden+%2Bmoron

 

Another tale of my misspent youth. Safe for work.

http://forum.reapermini.com/index.php?/topic/55081-dog-beans/?hl=%2Bdog+%2Bbeans

 

This one's more or less safe, except for the exploding apartment and the naked guy.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/blazing-chickens/745957818760059

 

Doc Bedlam's Turkey Recipe.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/smoked-turkey/646528418703000

 

This is one I keep coming back to, for some reason... how Reaper Miniatures brought me together with the love of my life. Not terribly bawdy though. But there's kissing!

http://forum.reapermini.com/index.php?/topic/44574-zombie-mouselings-a-love-story/?hl=%2Bzombie+%2Bmouselings

 

...okay, this one's kinda bawdy. Foul language and prostitution. Sort of. But with a moral at the end!

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/boys-town/471271699562007

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Christmas Spiders.

http://forum.reapermini.com/index.php?/topic/52792-christmas-spiders/?hl=%2Bchristmas+%2Bspiders

 

Doc Does Not Like Jehovah's Witnesses, the unexpurgated version. 

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/witnessing-for-the-prosecution/475386139150563

 

As a child, I discovered dirty magazines. Bawdy as hell, yet surprisingly safe. Quite long, though.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/sexual-awakening-at-the-house-of-ill-repute/565507950138381

 

This story is not bawdy at all. However, it does contain the effword. And I cannot help but think that if I removed every instance of the effword, it would be a lesser thing, somehow...

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/in-which-the-troll-says-elf-a-lot/472398192782691

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The story of popcorn. Safe for work.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/popcorn/589023267786849

 

Turtles and Toobs. More or less safe, aside from some dirty words and Bob's butt.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/turtles-and-toobs/535091646513345

 

Pet Cemetary. Safe, and better than it sounds.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/pet-cemetery/538002826222227

 

On two occasions in my life, people have shot at me. This story details both, and is funnier than you might think. Safe, aside from language.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/the-benevolent-and-protective-brotherhood-of-them-what-has-been-shot-at/472397719449405

 

This is perhaps the story that got me to telling funny stories to people on the internet in the first place. One of the OLD ones. Flatulence warning, toilet humor. 

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/sins-of-the-farter/473103919378785

 

A tale of racism. I wasn't going to post a link to this one, but given the day's events, perhaps I should.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/racism-and-donut-holes/519662068056303

 

A tale of retail. Adult themes.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/just-say-no-a-tale-of-retail/668174146538427

 

Upon looking at my backlog, though, I find myself wondering whether to post links to some of the bawdier ones, though... jeez, I'd forgotten what a filthy person I used to be...

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I still ponder posting links to some of the more questionable stuff.

"The Summer Of Lucy" is probably the dirtiest thing I ever wrote. It's faintly romantic, but not terribly funny. I've never posted it online. Don't think I will, either. Pretty personal.

"Vegesexual" is another one I never posted online, because it's just too weird. What's worse is, it's true. Back before being a vegan was cool, I knew someone who was a vegesexual. In fact, back before AIDS, I knew a great many rather questionable people. Second bawdiest thing I ever wrote.

"Weenies and Hotdogs" may well be the bawdiest thing I ever wrote that had no actual sex or sexual tension in it whatsoever.

Oh, yeah... "The Birthday Horror," is located here in Beekeepers, due to some questionable content; I wrote it in response to a query by Last Knight. Not hugely sexual, but terribly sexuaLIZED. It's complicated.

http://forum.reapermini.com/index.php?/topic/57289-the-birthday-horror/

 

"A Game Of Turds" isn't particularly bawdy, but is in very poor taste. Does that count?

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/a-game-of-turds/468649726490871
 

Likewise with "Chicken and Chocolate." Wrote that one in high school... that one is older than some of the forumites...

https://www.facebook.com/notes/tom-o-bedlam/chicken-and-chocolate-an-easter-story/538004749555368
 

 

...and I just dunno if I'm brave enough to post links to "Naked Twister" or "Hole In The Wall." 

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