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17 hours ago, PaganMegan said:

The God of the Old Testament was not exactly kind, even to his own believers.

 

The God of the New Testament is a whole different deity, and a much nicer person.

 

Hells bells, there was only ONE Celtic god I can think of that didn't want human sacrifices, and he was DEATH, and got Everybody, sooner or later.

assorted_fruits.jpg

[Why should @Unruly have the only Oglaf references.]

 

My approach to fantasy pantheons is that the gods are not actual beings with almighty power but the embodiment of different concepts, be they philosophical (war, love, music) or physical (earth, darkness, stars, wind). The world and living creatures existed before the gods and those who developed sapience created the gods to reflect their own beliefs. Since gods require worshipers to exist, it makes sense. As different races and nations have different values, their gods' portfolios will equally vary in importance.

 

It makes creation myths somewhat paradoxical as the gods say they created their worshipers, but since the "concepts" they embody are technically things that "always were", they were there all along, but "undefined". Best not think too much about it.

Edited by Cranky Dog
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My take on the gods in most of my D&D campaigns is that not only is there an elf ton of them, there's a metric elf ton of them to the nth power. Seriously, gods everywhere. Ancestor gods, local gods, nature spirits. Oh, you're playing a cleric? Who do you pray to? Need some ideas - here's the Expanded Petty Gods. Take your pick. And yeah, actually getting the attention of any of them is probably not in your best interest. 

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The party made it to Wave!

The cleric of Ares picked it up!
"Hi! Have you considered converting to the worship of our lord and savior Poseidon?"

 

Followed by ridiculous leaps of logic regarding the fact that no tidal waves wiped them out last week is proof that Poseidon is the best.

Had a blast RPing that trident till the cleric stuffed it in his handy haversack.

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20 hours ago, BlazingTornado said:

The party made it to Wave!

The cleric of Ares picked it up!
"Hi! Have you considered converting to the worship of our lord and savior Poseidon?"

 

Followed by ridiculous leaps of logic regarding the fact that no tidal waves wiped them out last week is proof that Poseidon is the best.

Had a blast RPing that trident till the cleric stuffed it in his handy haversack.

[Purple]Everybody, do the Wave![Unpurple]

 

Poseidon is also god of firefighters and earthquakes.

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. ... well. Nobody lit themselves on fire this time. Half the functional melee - literally all of the party's ratfolk - and their bard fled the combat in terror from one Dullahan though. It's like they lost their heads or something. <.<

This left three people to turn said dullahan into undead chopped mince. The wizard finally had an excuse to use her Beefy Wizard Spell...

 

And somehow, they all survived, although the party's heavy fighter looked like a shadow mastiff's chew toy at the end.

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On 2/17/2018 at 12:35 PM, Dr.Bedlam said:

I'd forgotten about the Oglaf cartoon with Sithrak the Destroyer.

Sums up a LOT about organized religion, right there.

 

They've been on somewhat of a religious kick the last couple weeks. This week it's poking fun at the Great Flood. With hilarious results.

 

On 2/17/2018 at 9:24 AM, Crowley said:

My take on the gods in most of my D&D campaigns is that not only is there an elf ton of them, there's a metric elf ton of them to the nth power. Seriously, gods everywhere. Ancestor gods, local gods, nature spirits. Oh, you're playing a cleric? Who do you pray to? Need some ideas - here's the Expanded Petty Gods. Take your pick. And yeah, actually getting the attention of any of them is probably not in your best interest. 

 

Shinto style, eh? That's always a good choice.

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The Gods of Arr-Kelaan has an interesting take on the nature of divinity.

 

The main character is Ronson - god of alcohol and apathy, but my favorite is Claremont - god of science. (Who decides that he is going to be the first god to become a father - and do the job right. He actually succeeds.)

 

The god of heroes... wears tights and a cape.

 

The Auld Grump

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2 hours ago, TheAuldGrump said:

The Gods of Arr-Kelaan has an interesting take on the nature of divinity.

 

The main character is Ronson - god of alcohol and apathy, but my favorite is Claremont - god of science. (Who decides that he is going to be the first god to become a father - and do the job right. He actually succeeds.)

 

The god of heroes... wears tights and a cape.

 

The Auld Grump


Claremont wasn't the God of Science, so much as the God of Knowledge, although he was the patron of scientists (as well as being Ronson's brother in law).

And the God of Heroes wore tights and a cape because upon discovering his godly powers, he promptly decided that he had somehow gained super powers, and his frame of reference said that if you have super powers, you put on tights and a cape and fly around doing good deeds...

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Went to TotalCon this weekend and played many hours of Adventure League; enough to bring my Bladesinger Wizard from 8th to 10th level.

 

Selected cool moments:

-Fighting the warlock pirates and getting Banished for pretty much the entire encounter.  DM said it was the first time he successfully banished a PC.  I wasn't even mad.  he was telling that story all Con, and I'm sure will be telling it for some time to come.

-having the Han Solo moment of "this isn't a cave" and then running out of the belly of the giant undead T-rex.

-creative spell casting- while being attacked by swarms of flying monkeys, when the DM asked me what I was doing, instead of the expected Fireball, I cast Minor Illusion to cause the sound of a hunting T-rex to come from the woods.  Monkeys lost their elf (literally, but that's what Prestidigitation is for) and flew away.

-final adventure of the day consisted of 3 wizards (abjurer, druid/diviner, and my bladesinger) and a war priest.  The magic item we found was a Flame Tongue that no one had a use for (the war cleric had a Mace of Smiting that he preferred).

-we came into the basement hideout of a gnomish fence and "convinced" her to give up the location of the pirates we were hired to find. the when we went upstairs we were jumped by her lieutenant and his thugs.  So since we were in a bar, the party decided to turn this into the most stereotypical bar fight we could.  To include: casting Minor illusion to cause the piano to play fight music, raging barbarians beating rogues and swashbucklers with mugs (for 2 damage each hit), On player jumping behind the bar and pouring drinks, the monk stunning fisting the final enemy then body slamming him into the piano, which one of the barbarians lifted and beat him to death with.  I haven't laughed like that in a long time.

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4 hours ago, Dilvish the Deliverer said:

Went to TotalCon this weekend and played many hours of Adventure League; enough to bring my Bladesinger Wizard from 8th to 10th level.

 

Selected cool moments:

-Fighting the warlock pirates and getting Banished for pretty much the entire encounter.  DM said it was the first time he successfully banished a PC.  I wasn't even mad.  he was telling that story all Con, and I'm sure will be telling it for some time to come.

-having the Han Solo moment of "this isn't a cave" and then running out of the belly of the giant undead T-rex.

-creative spell casting- while being attacked by swarms of flying monkeys, when the DM asked me what I was doing, instead of the expected Fireball, I cast Minor Illusion to cause the sound of a hunting T-rex to come from the woods.  Monkeys lost their elf (literally, but that's what Prestidigitation is for) and flew away.

-final adventure of the day consisted of 3 wizards (abjurer, druid/diviner, and my bladesinger) and a war priest.  The magic item we found was a Flame Tongue that no one had a use for (the war cleric had a Mace of Smiting that he preferred).

-we came into the basement hideout of a gnomish fence and "convinced" her to give up the location of the pirates we were hired to find. the when we went upstairs we were jumped by her lieutenant and his thugs.  So since we were in a bar, the party decided to turn this into the most stereotypical bar fight we could.  To include: casting Minor illusion to cause the piano to play fight music, raging barbarians beating rogues and swashbucklers with mugs (for 2 damage each hit), On player jumping behind the bar and pouring drinks, the monk stunning fisting the final enemy then body slamming him into the piano, which one of the barbarians lifted and beat him to death with.  I haven't laughed like that in a long time.

Wouldn't raging barbarians be causing something closer to 6 points of damage with each mug? They still get their strength mods, right?

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15 minutes ago, Crowley said:

Wouldn't raging barbarians be causing something closer to 6 points of damage with each mug? They still get their strength mods, right?

Something, something improvised weapon.  Also, he was using it in his off hand (he was stabbing people with his rapier with his dominate had; we were joking that a raging barbarian held an rapier like an ice pick).

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Depending on the improvised weapon it might still get a damage dice (the books say that is up to the DM to determine), but a barbarian in a bar room brawl with a rapier in one hand and a mug in the other? That's gotta be something.

 

Meanwhile the cleric in my game is just the biggest ol slut ever because he's decided to switch to the active worship of a third god, apparently thanks to Wave's arguments. So he went Dionysus -> Ares -> Poseidon (or will next session). He'll probably want to hold on to Wave too, so that might piss off the mage-kings of New Atlantis... not to mention the rest of the party since Wave probably will be more focused on getting converts to Poseidon than adventuring and righting wrongs.

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2 hours ago, BlazingTornado said:

Depending on the improvised weapon it might still get a damage dice (the books say that is up to the DM to determine), but a barbarian in a bar room brawl with a rapier in one hand and a mug in the other? That's gotta be something.

 

Meanwhile the cleric in my game is just the biggest ol slut ever because he's decided to switch to the active worship of a third god, apparently thanks to Wave's arguments. So he went Dionysus -> Ares -> Poseidon (or will next session). He'll probably want to hold on to Wave too, so that might piss off the mage-kings of New Atlantis... not to mention the rest of the party since Wave probably will be more focused on getting converts to Poseidon than adventuring and righting wrongs.

So... He's going to have Ares pissed off at him? That... seems unwise. 

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