Getting to Know Each Other - December 2016

[TGP]

Question for December 1st, 2016

What is the strangest (valid or not) reason you've ever had to call in sick / miss school / etc?

 

"...I don't think the tube from the IV bag(1) will stretch all the way to Building 300."(2)

 

 

1. I went to the ER one weekend, asked for some help, maybe a shot (ya know, like they do, from a needle) but instead, they kept me.

2. That job was at a defense contractor and all the buildings were numbered (ya know, like they do).

 

~~~~

 Another story from that same job:

Question for December 1st, 2016

What is the strangest (valid or not) reason you've ever had to tell to the boss?

 

Fool that I was, I answered a ringing phone one morning. (Rule for survival in a cube farm, don't answer ringing phones, unless it is your phone.) It was the dude that occupied the cube across the aisle from me. He was gonna be late. He had nothing(1) to wear(2)...! It all started when he did his laundry the night before, ya see. He'd washed a big pile of clothes. Then he had dried them in a dryer and piled them in a basket. But, when he put them on, he was brutally, viciously attacked(3) by fire ants! The whole heap of clothes was infested with them. And he was gonna be late while he doctored himself and re-washed everything to save(4) his wardrobe. Then he asked me to relay all that to the bosses.

 

 

1. A fashion disaster.

2. His wardrobe was stuck in the 1970s. Wide collars, open shirts, rayon, John Revolta gold chain, the whole shebang. So it still would have been a fashion disaster if he'd had a spare outfit.

3. Who knew that fire ants subcontracted as hit squads for the fashion police?

4. Instead of just burning it.

[LordJosh]

12/1: The electric lines leading to our apartment caught fire.  Literally, the insulation on the old wires caught fire, and then the line snapped and was lying across the entrance to our building.  It was bizarre watching the fire ride along the line coming up the street, then across from the poll to our brick building.

[Colonel Kane]

*coughs* I have three, without getting into sorted details. 

 

I am handcuff to the bed and lost the keys.

I am stranded on an island and no one will rescue me.

Ex girl friend stole all my stuff except my chaps...... yes even my clothes.  

[dsmiles]

*coughs* I have three, without getting into sorted details. 

 

I am handcuff to the bed and lost the keys.

I am stranded on an island and no one will rescue me.

Ex girl friend stole all my stuff except my chaps...... yes even my clothes.  

If you put all three of those into the same story, you'd have a pulp romance best-seller on your hands.

[Colonel Kane]

 

*coughs* I have three, without getting into sorted details. 

 

I am handcuff to the bed and lost the keys.

I am stranded on an island and no one will rescue me.

Ex girl friend stole all my stuff except my chaps...... yes even my clothes.  

If you put all three of those into the same story, you'd have a pulp romance best-seller on your hands.

 

and who says it is NOT part of the same story???? I did not go into details....

[Chaoswolf]

 

Question for December 1st, 2016

What is the strangest (valid or not) reason you've ever had to call in sick / miss school / etc?

 

Well, I've got 2 but only 1 is family friendly, so....

 

About 3 or 4 years ago we had a winter snow/ice storm that brought down a fairly significantly sized chunk of the tree in our front yard. It missed everything important, but fell across the driveway, hence I was stuck.

I technically could have gotten out around it, but I didn't really feel like going to work, so...

[alchemist]

I did pass out at work one day many years ago.  Scared the crap out of the guy sitting across the room from me at the time, when I hit the floor and the chair I had been sitting on went flying.  I got to spend a couple of nights in hospital, but they never really came up with a good explanation for why it happened other than that my heart rate is clinically weird.

[Grayfax]

 

Question for December 1st, 2016

What is the strangest (valid or not) reason you've ever had to call in sick / miss school / etc?

 

I too had to call in one winter after we were first married.  I worked for a regional wholesaler of electrical material at the time and I think there were about 80 locations at the time... I still don't know anything about that stuff, I was working in marketing at the time.  A tree had fallen at one end of the road and they were working on power lines at the highway entrance on the other end of the road.  Seemed like a good enough reason to me, so I made the phone call.  Apparently no one else was there at the time and the owner of the company picked up the phone.  After I said my piece, he asked, "Where do you need me to pick you up?"  ... ... ... Uh... ... I had no contingency plans for that.  Getting home was a bit more difficult, and I planned much more carefully in the future, just in case, but I've never needed a contingency plan to prevent the Big Boss from coming to pick me up.  

 

That was one of the three awkward encounters I had with the Big Boss.  I still see him regularly at events at the college and he visits the theatre regularly and we still get along just fine.  

[edz16]

Seasonal creek that flows only in heavy rain ran across my in laws driveway while we were staying with them once.  Torrential rain for a couple days straight = 50 foot wide,  8 ft deep massive river blocking us in.

[canuckotter]

I forgot to answer my own question! Or, more accurately, I answered it but my computer rebooted before I hit "Post". (My fault. )

 

I don't have anything too weird to share... There was the one time I couldn't come in because I was still messed up from the opiates. Sadly, the opiates were administered by a doctor because I was passing a kidney stone at the time. Kidney stones effing hurt. Easily 50x worse than getting a full-strength kick in the fork by a martial arts expert. (And yes, I can base that assessment on first-hand observation.) So they pumped me full of drugs to keep me from writhing too much, but opiates make me throw up like crazy so they also gave me a bunch of injected Gravol... All in all, I was knocked out on various rounds of opiate for somewhere over 8 hours. It was insane. And I was still messed up the next day so I took the day off work.  

 

A friend of mine was once studying for an exam, but took a quick break to go meet up with friends at a bar just down the street from her. She went in, grabbed a drink, went to the bathroom a few minutes later, came back and finished her drink... About an hour later when she was getting ready to leave she realised that the walls were breathing and the floor kept twisting in different directions and she could see through her friends' skin, etc. Someone laced her drink with acid. She went to the hospital, filled out the police report, etc, then ended up being released in time to just barely make it to her exam. So she went, figuring that she'd show the prof her copy of the police report as proof that she wasn't just making junk up to get out of the exam... Prof's reaction was "You made it here so you can't be in that bad shape. Get in there and write the exam." Luckily for her it was an English exam and she got like an A or A+ or something and the prof commented that she was really creative in her essay answers...  

 

Today's question was prompted by me working from home once again... because my kid ate pizza. He's lactose intolerant, but we've found in the past that giving him lactaid lets him eat pizza. To be honest, I think something was just plain wrong with the pizza because I've been off all day too, but at any rate, the kid threw up first thing this morning so I stayed here and worked from home. It just struck me as kind of funny that I was working from home because my kid ate pizza.  

[Jokemeister]

 

Question for December 1st, 2016

What is the strangest (valid or not) reason you've ever had to call in sick / miss school / etc?

 

 

In my case, it was due to flooding in my home after a typhoon - or as I called it then, "needing to drain my indoor swimming pool". 

[canuckotter]

Stealing Morihalda's idea... My mornings are often crazy, so I'm going to try to post questions the night before. Unless I forget. Or get distracted.  

 

Question for December 2nd, 2016

What do dragons do with all of those princesses they kidnap?

 

(question suggested by Werkrobotwerk)

[Pezler the Polychromatic]

 

Question for December 1st, 2016

What is the strangest (valid or not) reason you've ever had to call in sick / miss school / etc?

 

My girlfriend at the time tried to kill herself, and someone had to stay with her all day to make sure she didn't try again.

 

On a less heartbreak-y story, one time I had to drive from the farm to work during a blizzard. Usually not a problem because I'm a Saskatchewan farmboy, I know how to drive in the ruts on the grid road so as to not hit the ditch. Everything was great........until I got to the highway. The blizzard was so terrible that not only could I not see the lines on the highway, I couldn't see the highway itself. Everything was a solid blanket of snow that there was absolutely no differentiation between the highway and the ditch. It means something when I say that I have never seen something like this in my life. I somehow managed to make it back home and when I called work, all my production manager told me was. " There aren't many people here, can you try to come in?". My response was, " I already did. It ain't happening."

[Pezler the Polychromatic]

Stealing Morihalda's idea... My mornings are often crazy, so I'm going to try to post questions the night before. Unless I forget. Or get distracted.  

 

Question for December 2nd, 2016

What do dragons do with all of those princesses they kidnap?

 

(question suggested by Werkrobotwerk)

Talk about who's having rendezvouses with who in Court and other social secrets, because they know that princesses are excellent sources of salacious gossip.

[Lord of the Dish Pit]

​What do dragons do with kidnapped princesses?

 

In the beginning simple tasks, hourly hoard counts, proper rituals of coffee brewing and snack food preparation. After the princesses have acclimated to their new home they are introduced to gold to currency conversion rates, locations of tax shelters, and accounting 101. Those with talent are trained in stock manipulation and unleashed on wall st. Others of a more violent bent are armed and trained in fending off pesky adventurers and agents of the SEC.